Ever since the poly group folded, I have pushed my posts into areas that I much rather would have posted after rigorous discussion but them’s the breaks in a country that is largely sexually conservative and which is still I contend, uncomfortable talking about sex in a mature manner.
Anyway, found this via @ChrisRyanPhD: Sex worker’s view of marriage
Greatest respect for this man and his thought process. Sex At Dawn by Cacilda & Chris is a great read. Highly recommended.
I agree mostly with the article and I genuinely wonder what is the true percentage of marriages that wallow in this state?
Surely one can present the evidence that is the above, in that prostitution is still very profitable and secondly, one should look at the gender ratios (and profit margins) of dating sites which are strongly populated with men vice women.
I have said a few times now I strongly feel that marriage has its place for some, but certainly not all.
Furthermore I strongly believe it is high time we all took our collective heads out of the sand and acknowledged some truths that so many are so willing to discuss.
1. That marriage is an archaic and unnecessary human requirement in a world that has moved on from the original intent of marriage.
2. That humans need companionship mostly and this can be met via friendships rather than marriage.
3. And if we are ever to see some genuine sexual balance between genders in this world, – which I feel is this articles root cause, we need less marriages and more friendships with benefits and/or polyamorous arrangements for those with enough sense & compassion to negotiate poly.
Anyway, please have a read of the article and if you are game, post a comment.
Love this song…
I have asked myself a couple of times this but I figure it’s high time alternatives to the current version of marriage I have seen start to find a place of their own to exist.
I wrote previously on marriage and my respect for the word but that is where it ends.
Yes, it works well for some but in all honesty I would love to see the truth on those marriages and why they work because I think you would find a similar type of arrangement one might see in a great poly relationships (excellent communication, trust etc.)
There is nothing worse in my opinion than not having the courage to speak up for your own needs and instead sneak around behind your beloved’s back.
That is the primary reason why poly may never really take hold because I feel that honesty is hard work for a lot of people and just like democracy and teamwork are works in progress that never really reach a conclusion and therein lies the beauty – the journey.
That doesn’t mean for one second that one should just accept the status quo and get on with being a sheep. Quite the contrary really. At least that is what I think.
It takes courage to believe in something like polyamory and I do because in my opinion it reeks of sense.
So if you want to expand your mind and educate yourself out of the flock you can’t do much worse than pick up the book that changed it all for me.
Then maybe you will drop by our little group and who knows what will happen then…but that’s half the fun!
Until that time, please,
I am a fan of the word and the institution because as I have come to learn, marriage has quite the long and interesting history.
What I am not a fan of is the version perpetuated by some in this society inclusive of religion, politics, industry and little old Mr & Mrs Consumer.
There are many factors that is make a great marriage and I contend that not enough is being done to keep marriage great.
For mine it’s like looking at a block of Swiss cheese. Look closer and you might see right through it.
One only has to look at facts on the ground today in Australia (40+% divorce rate on average, a high domestic violence rate, single parenthood as a societal norm, prostitution still alive and kicking, affairs abounding etc.).
Both sexes have to change but there is a lot of resistance with both blaming each other for what they consider “the reasons” for divorce and other issues that affect marital unions.
I still think marriage will remain the default relationship option in society but for that to happen so many things need to change in my opinion.
I firmly believe that until such time that a communication in relationships course becomes the defacto standard taught as part of a country wide sex-ed/relationships course for year 10, 11 and 12’s we will continue to see a trail of human detritus flowing freely from the Good Ship Marriage.
But to finish on a high note one thing that is coming despite ongoing resistance from conservatives in ever smaller numbers is same-sex marriage.
Legislated as a totally legal and an equal of its heterosexual counterpart.
This is a very interesting topic that I have barely touched on so do come down to one of our meets if you would like to chat.
I’m attending a Meetup with Peninsula Polyamory and Open Relationships Meetup http://meetu.ps/2CmmTj
Until then, love many,
From Becky Knight’s blog Living Sexuality http://www.livingsexuality.com/category/blog/
“The mistake that straight people made,” Savage told me, “was imposing the monogamous expectation on men. Men were never expected to be monogamous. Men had concubines, mistresses and access to prostitutes, until everybody decided marriage had to be egalitarian and fairsey.” In the feminist revolution, rather than extending to women “the same latitude and license and pressure-release valve that men had always enjoyed,” we extended to men the confines women had always endured. “And it’s been a disaster for marriage.”
I think this is very well said.