OMFG, Single Shaming…why?

Hi all,

I have been thinking about writing something on the subject of being single for some time now.

In fact, I think I have written before about the Australian 2016 Census results which on census night saw nearly 1 person in 4 living alone.

And I expect that we will see this number increase again when the 2021 results are released to public view in July this year.

The article below is from the BBC and asks why we collectively are still of the mind that choosing to live alone is a bad thing.

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220405-single-shaming-why-people-jump-to-judge-the-un-partnered

Clearly there is still a great deal of stigma out there which saw a person I respect greatly exit Twitter recently because they were sick of fighting again this historical juggernaut.

For mine, I hope the number increases as clearly there is more than enough people on the planet currently and we really should be slowing down & assessing what an optimal carrying capacity for the planet is currently.

And I am not suggesting that number can’t or shouldn’t increase.

I just want to see some sensible analysis and staying single and or raising small families is preferable until that analysis is complete we understand what the planet needs to sustain us.

Unfortunately, this will have to be led by individuals because governments still have their heads in the sand and are not interested in the slightest in singing the praises of those who choose to live this way.

So, for mine, staying single is a good thing and I look forward to seeing old and outdated tropes on the deficiencies of this choice disappear sooner rather than later.

Feel free to comment if you have other thoughts.

Cheers
AES

Disgraced Tory MP Neil Parish ‘broke law’ by watching porn in Commons. (via Guardian Aust)

Hi all,

Nothing new at this link below. Just another male doing what we males do so well within our large sphere of patriarchal freedoms.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/apr/30/disgraced-tory-mp-neil-parish-broke-law-by-watching-porn-in-commons

This British MP must have been so bored with legislative proceedings on those two sitting days he chose to surf porn on his phone, in the house of commons no less!

For mine, I hope the book is thrown at him, but on reading the article, you may well walk away as I did thinking that this bloke will get away with it just as so many before him have previously.

My bet is a deal will be done and the disgraced MP will be shown the door with his entitlements in tact and told to stay low for a year or two.

And with that potential action, society will miss another opportunity for change.

Which brings me to the conundrum of actually achieving any change in this space.

Can it be done?

In Australia we have had our fair share of problems like this over the years with the most recent in our own parliament house being conveniently dry-cleaned away.

Thankfully, it was referred to the court after a tonne of public pressure was put on the incumbent government but it’s clear to observers and those paying attention that without that pressure, it would have been swept under the carpet just as the “Prayer Room” & desk wanking incidents have been.

Thankfully though, we have an election here soon and there are a number of female independents running.

My great hope is that our lower house cross-bench seats are increased forcing the party holding a seat majority (but not enough to form government (in Aust, you need 76 seats)), to negotiate with a block of independents for confidence & supply hopefully guaranteeing some action on matters of sexuality within politics.

These actions, if forthcoming in politics will bring further much needed flow on effects to wider society.

Maybe this is an outcome we will see?

I hope so. And I hope this is an outcome in this term of government. If not, the pressure will continue as more scandals come to light.

Because clearly, Men aren’t going to learn any other way.

Cheers

AES

Prison Sex – Tool

‘I suffered for my rage’: Sofia Helin on Lust, The Bridge and the collapse of Sweden’s #MeToo movement (via Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

This looks interesting.

It has a great show motto for a start ” Sex is the highway to health” but whilst this is a strong sentence well worth exploring further in its own right, the show – Lust – looks really interesting itself.

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2022/apr/12/i-suffered-for-my-rage-sofia-helin-on-lust-the-bridge-and-the-collapse-of-swedens-metoo-movement

Please have a look if it’s something that interests you. I will definitely be having a look for it and hope that it shows on SBS here in Australia because I have interest in another bloody streaming subscription.

Anyway, that’s me for this short & sweet post.

Adios

AES

Iron Vagina’s. (via Stark Raving on Medium)

Hi all,

Checkity, check this folks…

https://link.medium.com/WZu0HfJKRob

I love this woman already. VAGINA…VAGINA…VAGINA…moooore…VAGINA. I hope it continues to be shouted from the rooftops…

Pussy – In Your Face!

Vagina…a beautiful word. I am strongly of the opinion that until such time this word can be spoken without shame and displayed in all its beauty as the gateway to life as we know it, we will struggle as a society with our sexuality.

And whilst we are on the subject of iron Vagina’s, I remember years ago reading about a device that could be inserted and used to build strong muscles in the pelvic region. It would give the user a pressure readout during contraction which would give the user a baseline strength level to work on as needed.

I used to see it advertised in an aerobics magazine I to read/buy on occasion.

I don’t think it is available anymore mainly because aerobics en masse is out of fashion. But it was a genius idea for women to use to build that pelvic floor strength and potentially never have to worry about accidents and embarrassment or pads.

For mine, I am a fan of her approach especially if there is some sound body science behind it.

Please click through to read the article if it interests you noting that Medium is a subscription service and a brilliant one at that.

I have been raving out it for years. Please consider subscribing.

Your brain will thank you.

Enjoy

AES

Only half of US adolescents receive adequate sex education — and Black and Hispanic youth are especially left behind.

Hi all,

I have spoken at length about sex education on this blog with the aim of trying to assist ongoing education in this important area of human development in my small way.

I was though saddened to read this just now as reported in Psypost and written by Beth Ellwood;

https://www.psypost.org/2022/03/only-half-of-us-adolescents-receive-adequate-sex-education-and-black-and-hispanic-youth-are-especially-left-behind-62664

This study says that sex education was better 25 years ago. Wow!

So why is that? Is this the pendulum of conservatism showing its hand or religion or both. Or is this something else altogether?

I am confused and genuinely interested in reading the article again and properly this time to see what has influenced this ordinary result.

If you read this article and have an opinion on it, please add a comment as I would like to understand this research and it subsequent results better.

BTW – here’s a link to the Reddit feed I found this article in…

https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/t4z38e/only_half_of_us_adolescents_receive_adequate_sex

Cheers

AES

Ireland, like the rest of us, has a way to go…

Hi all,

I just read the link below. My thanks to Caelainn Hogan for writing the article “Ashling Murphy killing has shocked Ireland – but will it change a culture of misogyny?” as found in Guardian Australia.

Please have a read of the link below and make up your own mind.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jan/18/ashling-murphy-ireland-misogyny-attack-violence

I am not Irish, nor live in Ireland so I can’t comment directly but I can comment briefly on the prevailing attitude to women in this country – Australia.

Less than a year ago thousands of protesting women called it out in this country after failure upon failure in regards to women, their safety, their opportunities in society and for many other reasons. The last straw in breaking the camel’s back, was the alleged rape of Brittany Higgins in no lesser venue than…our fucking Parliament House!

Our Prime Minister, who is is on record as saying something occasionally on women and their plight and then largely doing something a smidge above nothing is up for relection in a few months.

Frankly, I hope the women of Australia collectively vote his arse onto the opposition backbench. Have a read of the article linked below as reported on SBS Australia today if you want to understand the anger felt in regards to his “fiddle around the edges approach” on women’s issues.

https://www.sbs.com.au/news/deadline-for-feedback-on-plan-to-end-violence-against-women-extended-after-backlash

Anyhoo, as shite as things are for half the population at times, times are a changing.

But they don’t change by themselves. You need to get involved because democracy, the engine of change – not unlike a sourdough starter, is a beast that needs to be fed regularly.

Mr Jeff Sparrow, a freelance journalist and one time breakfaster on Melbourne’s 3RRR (magnificent diverse radio) summed it up best in yesterday’s article in Guardian Australia;

“Democracy isn’t an institution. It’s a practice – and, as such, it becomes stronger through use”.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jan/18/in-an-era-of-rightwing-populism-we-cannot-destroy-democracy-in-order-to-save-it

I really enjoyed this article above as it highlights somewhat for me why the apathy towards politics exists that I have seen in the general populace for a long time. Hint, we aren’t being listened to.

Please, get involved and let’s make change together.

Cheers

AES

Manic Street Preachers – If You Tolerate This, Then Your Children Will Be Next

If Women Don’t Want To Be Treated as Sex Objects, Why Do They Dress Provocatively?

via Medium by Katie Jgin.

Hi all,

I really enjoyed this read. I think Katie has produced a well-balanced article worthy of as many pairs of eyes as possible.

It spoke to me in many ways but this paragraph amongst many in the article definitely stood out;

“But one thing that remains constant across various periods and patriarchal societies is the assumption that the female body exists, first and foremost, for male sexual and viewing pleasure.”

As a male of 50 years of age, this is a crystal clear statement to me. I have seen women treated poorly ever since I first could comprehend it. And FACT – It’s still going on right now. 43 women died at the hands of men in 2021 apparently. How many men died at the hands of women?

But don’t get me wrong, there is a silver lining. I have seen a lot of change and yes, things are moving forward still but it’s doing so at a glacial pace.

Thankfully in Australia we have a major election soon and discussion around women has been front and centre so it will be interesting to see if it resonates loudly enough with enough of the electorate to influence some faster change.

The link to the article is below but you are going to need a subscription to access it. I think Medium have a trial like many sites and that maybe a way to access it.

But as I have said many times, I think that a Mefium sub is extremely worthwhile because there is something for everyone on Medium. It’s a great place to learn from others.

https://link.medium.com/Z6fc87YVgmb

Anyhoo, that’s me for this one. Happy New Year to you and yours and thanks for stopping by this odd little blog that I really enjoy writing.

I hope you find something that excites a few neurons and takes you on you own journey as it has for me over a number of years now.

Cheers

AES

Green Day – Basket Case

If you really care about the safety of sex workers like me, let us make our own choices (via The Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

I enjoyed this article, again from The Guardian Australia also.

They are putting up some good stuff on all things sexuality of late.

Georgie Wolf is on the money in this post as linked below.

And I am for anything that shines sunlight on the oldest profession in the world because it very much needs it but that change as Georgie aludes to needs to be led by those on the ground, doing the actual work, not by politicians in offices far removed from reality.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/nov/25/if-you-really-care-about-the-safety-of-sex-workers-like-me-let-us-make-our-own-choices

The Reason Party here in Victoria, led by Fiona Patten is doing great things in this space, but also the Vixen Collective and others, who I am not across and apologies in advance on that, are also helping to bring light to a profession that needs it, to educate those who use services such as sex work and help to remove the stigma’s that very much still exists in this country when it comes to anything sexuality.

All in all, we are getting there slowly, beating back the bigots and blinkered and I for one am stoked to see small incremental change happening.

AES

Jamiroquai – Bad Girls

The Women Bringing Sex Ed to the Arab World – New York Times via @inkl

Just wow!

Oh…hi all.

I just came across this and it has knocked me out temporarily. This post is going to end here, but please read the NYT article at the link.

https://inkl.com/a/PLqjXWiGwRb

Ok, it’s a day or so past when I posted this and I am still a little shocked, but happy that education about sex is finally trickling down.

I am also extremely 🙏 for living in a secular country.

Women here are still fighting an uphill battle in many of these areas but things are changing for the better by the day.

Mad props to Mona Eltahawy for what she is doing also.

Check her out on Patreon if you can and please support her work. She is sticking it to the man and I, as a man, love this.

All in all, my heart goes out to any and all women who are oppressed and who can’t get access to simple sexual education. I do hope things keep changing in your countries and communities.

AES

Affirmative Consent…more support needed.

Hi all,

The article at the link below is a potent read and I implore you to venture down this rabbit hole if you, like me are tired of the multitudes of stories in which men (largely) are left wanting in this area of human sexuality.

I have been carrying on like a pork-chop for years on this blog about the need for robust, comprehensive and mostly better sexual education in this country and its clear in reading this article that – we ain’t there yet.

But on the positive tip, things are getting better. 2021, as Saxon mentions has been a year in which change has trickled down and left those of us who care deeply about this and many other issues around gender feeling like the winds of change are rising.

https://www.thesaturdaypaper.com.au/share/12928/cIJGuT9

But they can only rise to a level where genuine change can happen (legislation) when enough people want change and are prepared to give up some of their time to vote and chaperone that change past and through the many obstacles in its path.

A federal election is coming (and I will post more on that soon) and so I ask;

Will you stand still and allow the standard you accept to move on by or will you step up and say something?

I hope it’s the latter. For everyone’s sake.

Regards

AES

Dan Savage: ‘When politicians leave sex alone, I’ll leave politics alone’ (via The Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

Dan Savage ROCKS!

He has single-handedly shown us how to build robust walls to protect those of us grasping at any one time with the many issues that make up human sexuality, against the conservative tide that seeks to erode sexuality to a lights off under the covers 5-minute wham-bam, thankyou ma’am exercise.

I used to read his column back in the day and always looked up to him as someone who wasn’t afraid to speak a truth that was being hushed daily whack-a-mole style by way too many blinkered fools.

I loved reading this article and I hope you do too.

He is a fantastic human being and I thank him for his contribution to humanity and sexuality.

Kind regards

AES

A Good Read – The New World Of Sex That Awaits Us (via The Atlantic).

A Better Way to Write About Sex – The Atlantic via @inkl https://inkl.com/a/wEpzjXHqYrz

Hi all,

I really enjoyed this read above (thanks Inkl). It’s tops of a big last four weeks in human sexuality here in Victoria, Australia.

We have had the bill passed to legalise sexwork (thanks to Fiona Patten, her team & those who supported the bill) which is massive in itself for all and sundry involved in this industry and then a couple of days ago, the Victorian parliament approved laws around sexual consent (stealthing etc.) which is also a huge step forward in gender equity.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/nov/12/affirmative-consent-laws-to-be-introduced-in-victoria-in-incredible-step-forward

Then about 20 minutes ago the article linked at the top of this post popped up in my Inkl.com feed.

I mean who knew that the inventor of Kelloggs conflakes was also negative about self-pleasure & masturbation?

If we had met, he & I would have surely had words, because masturbation is the bomb IMHO and is something I plan to do until my dying breath.

Anyhoo, have a read of the article if you are interested in venturing down this rabbit hole and maybe you will take an offshoot tunnel in the article and look into one of the books referenced in the article?

All in all though, I am stoked that we are making ground on the subject of sex slowly and surely whilst also leaving room for everyone to find their happy place in the many cul de sac’s on La Rue De Sex.

Enjoy people,

AES

Mazzy Star – Fade Into You

Radical anti-women groups like ‘Incels’ on the rise, via SBS.

Hi all,

I have had this one simmering away in the background for a while and it’s way about time it saw some sunlight.

But first, two definitions;

misogyny/məˈsɒdʒəni/ (say muh’sojuhnee)

noun 1.  hatred of women.

2.  entrenched prejudice against women.Compare misandry. [Greek mīsogynia]
misogynistnoun
misogynisticadjective
misogynousadjective

Usage: This word which entered English as a gloss of the Greek word in the 1600s, acquired a pair in misandry in the 1890s, The extension of meaning from def. 1 to def. 2 occurred during the 1900s, notably in feminist discourse.

misandry/mɪsˈændri/ (say mis’andree)

noun 1.  the hatred of men.

2.  entrenched prejudice against men. Compare misogyny. [late 1800s from Greek mīsandria]
misandristnounadjective

Usage: This word has considerably less frequency than misogyny, but extended its use from def. 1 to def. 2 in a similar fashion in the 1900s.

The third link below directly references these words above but they won’t be to far away if you are reading anything to do with the rise of the incel.

Have a read of all three below if you have time and you will start to see why this behaviour needs further discussion at all levels, amongst all cultures and all religions.

https://www.sbs.com.au/news/the-feed/radical-anti-women-groups-like-incels-on-the-rise


https://www.theguardian.com/media/2021/aug/16/social-networks-struggle-to-crack-down-on-incel-movement

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/oct/18/i-feel-hurt-that-my-life-has-ended-up-here-the-women-who-are-involuntary-celibates

What do I make of this new group of (largely) men?

Men, in my view have had this coming for a long time, and whilst I will always feel sympathy for any individual that I get to meet and understand their specific circumstance, I refuse to generally respect those that gather in groups and be disrespectful to women.

In my life thus far I have come to see men as being their own worst enemy in a lot of ways, in particular the macho way so many of us still go about our day to day business. There clearly is a cohort of powerful men who clearly make things worse for other cohorts and so the cycle turns, but now with the added rise of women in the mix and thus, the incel is born.

As I have aluded to on many of these posts, it makes for interesting times, and things may well stay this way for a while if not forever because clearly, the aforementioned cohort of powerful men are not interested in the slightest about the plight of those who for whatever reason don’t share or desire their abilities be they inherited or built.

Anyway, this is yet another massive subject that I can’t do justice to in just one post, so please, lean in and offer your thoughts in the way of a comment and maybe I will bring them together in a second post and you never know, we might just be able to crack this nut, so to speak.

Until then, adios.

AES

RHCP – The Power Of Equality

Happening review – sex and abortion on the new frontline in 60s France (via Guardian Australia).

Hi all,

This looks good.

And Happening is especially relevant at the moment with Texas and its new laws regarding abortion.

In Australia, the backwater that it can be at times, we also have a conservative government who can’t or won’t get its collective (pardon my use of that word. I understand it doesn’t apply to conservatives) head around women and their place as equals in society.

Check out the review above and maybe it appeals, or maybe not?

Either way, it highlights an issue we very much need to confront and work through in both genders.

Adios
AES

Ani DiFranco – Tiptoe

I walked 6km’s in the Hawaiian sun to buy this album “Living In Clip” which I had heard first on 3RRR Melbourne – Off The Record (Saturday morning’s at 9am).

It was so worth it.