I Disagree With This.

Why, you may ask?

Let’s explore the statement in question shall we.

“Men are born to pursue women”.

But are we?

For my 1cents worth, I think this is utter garbage.

Furthermore, I think this statement and the justification following it is a relic of history even now, and will continue to erode further the more gender equal we get.


Keep loving like there is no tomorrow.


Sex for rent: the rogue landlords who offer free rooms in return for ‘favours’

Update, June 2019. Still not completely happy with the flow of this one but will leave it up and further improve it over time.

Found in The Guardian – “Sex for rent: the rogue landlords who offer free rooms in return for ‘favours’”


Good journalism to uncover this issue, but I want to dig deeper.

Why is this the case? And what is the initial “why” (I thought about saying root-cause, but not even I am that tacky!)?

For mine that why is SEX.

My gut feeling as amassed via a number of “heard it here or read it there” feels over time tells me Men have been doing this since the dawn of time, which in no way, shape or form should be condoned, but lately it has become enough of a thing at the right frequency to attract further attention (thankyou interwebs).

For me, it just further highlights the disconnects between Men & Women that few ever think about, discuss or ever admit. I hope articles such as this one I linked above direct those conversations a little more and put us on a path to reconciling some of the gaping holes in human sexuality.

In the long term, the way I see this subject evolving is with women finding further societal equality and the continued wholesale rejection of a lot of old school learnt ways essentially not needing men the way they do now.

We are already seeing this on the fringes with relationship models (that have been around forever) as minnows in comparison to monogamy slowly coming into their own.

As an FYI, the most recent Australian census reported another minor rise in those identifying as living in a single person household. No decrease is telling.


The end game for sex I think will see technology providing women with the ability and choice of satisfying their sexual and reproductive desires with another woman or women via female support networks, as just one example of many potential options available.

Women’s sexual growth will continue to occur slowly but I feel that there is way to much water under the bridge for any meaningful change to occur over the next century.

Men in the short term will continue to satisfy their sexual urges via existing hookups, relationships, prostitution and then in the longer term via artificial intelligence (AI) in the with the continual normal interweaving and crossovers between the sexes as necessary to bring satisfaction to those individuals of both genders outside the ‘normal’ range of sexuality, which may or may not be a thing but it’s the best I have to describe how I see things at this time.

Marriage won’t die off (damn!) but will be like Long Player (LP) records. A novelty that some still swear by.

Then there will those who will be content to just hang together and share their life with another, equally and fully. They are the cool kids. Dig!

It’s been interesting growing up at the end of free love and seeing it morph into numerous relationship forms once I was old enough to understand them. Changes that I hope brings a slightly better world one day.

Peace to y’all.


On Sex & Power.

I write this wondering if and when Men and Women will genuinely start having a meaning discussion about sexuality and the power it wields?

Is sex the elephant in the room that very few people ever acknowledge and/or walk a mile to understand?

Or is it all about power?

I am not the first to be confused how these two subjects weave between both genders.

Perhaps it’s a mix of both?

Currently Hollywood is going into meltdown with many sexual harassment cases rearing their ugly heads, and about time too. #metoo

I do wonder where we are heading as two genders whom have traditionally sought out each other, until death do us part?

The key point for me in all of this as viewed through the lens of lived experience (yes, complete with my own set of biases!) is that both genders really have no real idea of what life is like as the opposite sex and many aren’t interested in that knowing either.

There is miles of the written word and many songs sung and I get the feeling that many like to think they have it all worked out but really, unless you have been there ( hormone patches) or have made a concerted effort to walk a mile in the shoes of your opposite, you really have no factual basis on how the other lives.

I am strongly of the opinion that education has to lead the way on both of these subjects, and it possibly slowly is, as magnificent teachers all across the world do their little bit to educate and balance young men & women which in turn hopefully creates a better society for all.

We the people who want to handover a better world therefore must continue to stand up to those who resist change on a sniff.

It makes for interesting times as always and great debate with those who are interested in such things.



Ignorance is bliss….so very true.

Ending 2017…way points.

SSM got up…finally.

The conservatives in the LNP coalition, a few Catholic arch bishop’s, dear Lyle Shelton with his merry bunch of Christians and last but not least that wonderful NOT Murdoch rag in The Australian (that speaks for a third of us at best…go figure?), gave the NO case a good crack but their argument was piss-poor and in the end weight of numbers (and sense) spoke volumes.

#metoo – men got to feel the rage of numerous years of power misuse across a lot of professions.

Unfortunately, in the finest traditions of the shhh….don’t talk about sex, brain imprint that functions with aplomb in the overwhelming majority of us, we won’t get anywhere fast with on sexual harassment in Australian society anytime soon.

I expect 2018 to be just as bad if not worse.

Polyamory lost its momentum in Victoria with PolyVIC shutting down. Sad that it never got the support it deserves but we are pretty well institutionalised here in Australia through 200+ years of marriage, affairs & divorce and unfortunately are happy to accept the good times, bad times and other collateral damage as the norm.


I read another magnificent book called ” What Love Is, And What It Could Be” by Carrie Jenkins. A must read if the subject of human relationships and sexuality intrigues you as it does me.

And lastly, and to end on a happy note, I am pulling my weight in the gender wars by employing a 50/50 gender split so big-up’s to moi!

Happy New Year y’all.


Experts: Sex and porn addiction probably aren’t real mental disorders | SBS Sexuality


This is a good step forward for human sexuality. Please read and discuss widely in the hope that via weight of numbers, those who seek to profit from “yet another” purported disease in the long line of supposed human frailties get ran out of town for good.



George Michael – Far to early.

Hi all,

I am updating this post as I have just finished the Andrew Ridgeley book about the early years through to Wham’ s “The Final”. A great read that I highly recommend.

But onto the man who gave us so much. George Michael was an amazing human being full stop.

He did more for our collective human sexuality in his short life than 20,000 will do in theirs.

I really got into him with his album Older. I just was right for me at that time. I still love that album to this very day.

Wherever you exist now George, thanks so much for being yourself and pushing back against the few blinkered souls who could not help but try and drag you down.

And thanks for so much great music from Wham to Symphonica.



Truths from the sexual front line.

@kittystryker: Bree Olson says some harsh truths about what it’s like leaving the porn industry for a civilian job http://bit.ly/1UNeCiX via @dailydot

Colateral damage from an industry that seeks firstly to exploit the male sex drive for profit as their modus operandi.

And secondly in doing so exploits women and spews them out as excess to requirements detritus.

Bree is just one of the many who have either willingly left or as per my previous paragraph were ejected for any number of reasons.

How did conservatism engulf human sexuality?

It seems as though the time of free-love was as close as we have ever got to the deregulation of sex.

Tis yet another thing to ponder in this crazy life of which I have but a few answers…at best.

I reckon PJ would have some interesting thoughts on this possibly…

Ending 2016, where I’m at….

Frankly, still all over the shop but I have some clarity on the points below.

1. Marriage (traditional) should not be the default relationship proposition in 2016 or ever again.

2. We need action on equality. It’s not good enough to take the position that it will happen in its own good time. Women are being killed every week (60 so far) and kids are growing up to further create problems for society at large as the end result of this and other carnage.

3. We need more conversation regards sex. Currently men barely talk about it and less so between women & men unless there is mutual interest. No one should be forced into having sex but something has to give in our overly conservative society.

4. Same-Sex marriage must happen. The sooner the better.

5. And I would love to see the end of prostitution. Its always been the stopgap measure for a society that is unwilling to confront and discuss it’s sexual side and frankly it’s a discussion we need to have if we are ever to really evolve.

And that will about do me for tonight. I intend to keep typing blogs in the short term as interesting topics come to hand in the hope that mine and maybe one or two of the subjects in your conversational headspace are bolstered by what I write & link.

I present, the lovely Meshell Ndegecello.



More Than Two.

Wow…this is just what I needed right now. Thank you karma.

I have been struggling of late as the more astute of you have possibly read between the lines.

This book has renewed my hope and has bought me back to the day I read The Ethical Slut and considered it the most sensible thing I had read on relationships in 38 years on the planet.

If there is one thing this book has confirmed for me, is that yes, I am a Polyamorous person who values trust, respect, compassion and isn’t afraid of disgussing needs.

Whyou do I love poly? Because I love people who value community and who can see that our current relationship default was certainly not meant for everyone although it is definitely marketed that way.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has walked the roads and seen the carnage of broken relationships that litter it.

There is a better way for those who cherish joy and happiness. It won’t be easy but life was never meant to be.

Live and love like there’s no tomorrow.


Watch “Monogamish: The new rules of marriage | Jessica O’Reilly | TEDxVancouver” on YouTube

Tighten up this word in your vocabulary via the TED talk above.  The lady speaks the truth as far as I am concerned. 

This just strengthens my resolve on what I feel should be a fact of life, “that human relationships were never meant to be happy ever after”.  It’s always been about the luck of the draw and what each other is willing to put in.

Monogamish, Polyamorous & same-sex relationships are here to stay folks and that dear reader can only be good for humanity.
Love like there be no tomorrow


Paedophillia. More understanding is required.

The people who volunteer to spend time with paedophiles http://ab.co/2aRkY04 – via @abcnews

Yes, you read correctly.

I fully support organisation’s like this who seek to build bridges between those who yes, have done wrong.

They are in my opinion just another grouping of people whom are marginalised and shut out by those in society who choose not to open their blinkers and see these people through a two lenses vice one.

Please have a read and try to “walk a mile in their shoes” so you are better armed the next time this subject comes up in conversation.

Love y’all.


Thoughts on Marriage & Prostitution.

Hi all,

Ever since the poly group folded, I have pushed my posts into areas that I much rather would have posted after rigorous discussion but them’s the breaks in a country that is largely sexually conservative and which is still I contend, uncomfortable talking about sex in a mature manner.

Anyway, found this via @ChrisRyanPhD: Sex worker’s view of marriage

Greatest respect for this man and his thought process. Sex At Dawn by Cacilda & Chris is a great read. Highly recommended.

I agree mostly with the article and I genuinely wonder what is the true percentage of marriages that wallow in this state?

Surely one can present the evidence that is the above, in that prostitution is still very profitable and secondly, one should look at the gender ratios (and profit margins) of dating sites which are strongly populated with men vice women.

I have said a few times now I strongly feel that marriage has its place for some, but certainly not all.

Furthermore I strongly believe it is high time we all took our collective heads out of the sand and acknowledged some truths that so many are so willing to discuss.

1. That marriage is an archaic and unnecessary human requirement in a world that has moved on from the original intent of marriage.

2. That humans need companionship mostly and this can be met via friendships rather than marriage.

3. And if we are ever to see some genuine sexual balance between genders in this world, – which I feel is this articles root cause, we need less marriages and more friendships with benefits and/or polyamorous arrangements for those with enough sense & compassion to negotiate poly.

Anyway, please have a read of the article and if you are game, post a comment.

Love this song…

Iceland…I Love Thee.

@ChrisRyanPhD: Iceland: A culture moving beyond marriage @CNNTravel http://cnn.it/21IPytI
Shared via TweetCaster

Now this is sensible.  Everyone gets to choose and negotiate what they want at that point in their life.

In Australia however, the happy ever after principle as instilled via our parents and popular culture still exists as the norm and when combined with bugger all relationship/sexual communication leads largely to our large divorce rate.

We are slowly changing so I will hang onto that thread of hope that we will legislate same-sex marriage in due course opening the gate to the many possibilities beyond.

Till then peeps,
L O V E.

What Is Emotional Non-Monogamy?


What’s in a name?
You call it “emotional non-monogamy”, I call it “polyamory”…what’evs!

Worth a read anyway as we are all different and no-one should be boxed into a particular belief, but in saying that I guess there are many who like to belong to something and will defend it with or without their blinkers at 90 degrees.

It’s all very odd but I genuinely hope we can move on in this country, from the belief and associated bigotry that marriage is the only option for two people who have a connection and desire to build upon it.

Love like there’s no tomorrow.