I confronted my daughter’s boyfriend – but I was really confronting myself, via The Guardian Aust.

Hi all,


I loved this read and maybe you will find something in it also?

In my opinion, we men have a long way to travel to find gender balance and restore and reset the world that we have collectively steered towards catastrophe.

This read alludes to that journey and why it is so important to get on that track as soon as each of us can.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/oct/19/i-confronted-my-daughters-boyfriend-but-i-was-really-confronting-myself?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Please have a read if you have a few minutes.

Merry Christmas all,

AES

Behind Closed Doors – via 3CR Melbourne.

Hi all,

I have been interested in the subject and practice of sex work for some time now and was struggling a little with where I sat on it prior to reading about the podcast linked below and deciding to listen to it.

I have used sex workers in the past but done so without any thought whatsover for their lot in life. And I have written posts about sex work and prostitution in the past here, here and here all of which were part of the journey to this place.  Note that these links are from my oldest thoughts to the newest thoughts and there are a few others in the mix if you are dedicated also.

Have I evolved? That is what I would like to look at briefly in this post.

To add a little more context, I think things really started to change for me when I tried taxi driving for a while.

Taking boozed up clients to the various brothels around town was quite the experience. Sometimes I was just like the sex workers and in it just for the cash, never thinking another thing about it but sometimes I had an absolute pig in the car and damn I felt for the woman whom would have him in her life for a short period of time.

But anyway, that was the past. Right now I am listening to a podcast on 3CR with Victorian Senator Fiona Patten discussing sex work and the potential decriminalisation of it in the State of Victoria.

And honestly, she is making sense and I feel like I am finally finding some peace with this subject.

Please have a listen to the pod and I hope you get something out of it. It’s been a very long journey for me to get to this point but I get that we need to evolve on this subject and that sex can be a job that anyone can do. We really must get to a better place on this subject. There is too much stigma and far to much regulation and darkness around the subject.

Open the bloody curtains and let some light in and lets disenfect the oldest profession in the world for once and for all.

Anyway, I am going to keep reading anything worthwhile that I can get my hands on around this fascinating subject and will publish something further in due course that adds detail to this new found direction and take on this subject.

Cheers

AES

Mr Mister – Control

“Bedding The Coffee Shop Girl”

Hi all,

I absolutely loved reading this.
Beth tells a great and wonderfully sexy story about two women flirting and then fucking each other.

“Bedding The Coffee Shop Girl” by Beth Singleton https://link.medium.com/OxBGnkbRQ6

I love good erotica like this and I hope you will enjoy it also.

Medium is a paid site so you can’t read this without joining.  I would contend though that the few bucks it will cost you to subscribe to read genius like this is very much worth it.

AES

Can I have sex? A guide to intimacy during the coronavirus outbreak

Can I have sex? A guide to intimacy during the coronavirus outbreak

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/18/can-i-have-sex-a-guide-to-intimacy-during-the-coronavirus-outbreak?

Hi all,

Was thinking about this in light of COVID-19.

How will sex workers vet clients and then make a dollar?

If you can answer this, please share it back.

Otherwise I wish you well on this journey that we all have to take in 2020.

Be safe & stay as happy as you can.

AES

Harvey Weinstein found guilty of rape at New York trial.

Harvey Weinstein found guilty of rape at New York trial (via Guardian Australia).

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/feb/24/harvey-weinstein-guilty-trial-charges-verdict?

But he’s innocent…, or at least that is how Harv’ views things.

I am glad this went down the way it did as it’s a good precedent for the future.

As I understand it, he will appeal and I guess we will just have to wait and see what becomes of that.

Things have needed to change for a long time and this is but a chunk of a very large patriarchal iceberg that needs to be blown to bits IMHO.

Whatever happens, don’t count your chickens yet as women are still being murdered, hospitalised and abused every day in some part of the world just for being born a woman.

There are still many miles to go.

AES

‘If you’re going to watch porn, know it’s not real’: meet Britain’s sex-positive influencers

Hi all,

This is a really good article and it certainly makes me feel optimism for future generations.

I think it is yet another piece of the puzzle that will ultimately lead to a better society one day where people will better understand the breadth of possibilities out there and can pick and choose without as much bias & stigma as in the present day.

I hope you get a gem or two from it.

AES

‘If you’re going to watch porn, know it’s not real’: meet Britain’s sex-positive influencers

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/feb/08/porn-not-real-sex-positive-educators-influencers-breaking-taboos?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_WordPress

How we live together: the separated couple who share a home

How we live together: the separated couple who share a home

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/sep/21/how-we-live-together-separated-but-sharing-house

Hi all,

This is really interesting IMHO.

From what I know about relationship separations which I will admit never went past pain for both parties, they seem to me to be the exception rather than the rule.

But they need to be congratulated for thinking of their daughter as the priority.

Have a read and I hope this opens your mind a little more as it did for me.

AES

Ethical porn — does it exist and who makes it? – via ABC

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-12-21/ethical-porn-does-it-exist-and-where-do-you-find-it/8091266

Another interesting one for those in the fap-brigade.

Getting your pornography ethically. I am a fan.

Just need to get around to setting up accounts etc. now and hopefully that will be one of the last times I visit the so called free “sites”.

“TANSTAAFL”

AES

Ex-porn star Mia Khalifa wants to move on with her life. Why won’t we let her?

Here’s a couple of articles on the hipocrisy and patriarchal shitfight that is pornography.

Don’t get me wrong, I love porn but I think it’s high time I started to look for ethical pornography rather than free stuff as clearly I am part of the problem.

Mia deserves another chance and frankly I hope she gets it.

AES

Ex-porn star Mia Khalifa wants to move on with her life. Why won’t we let her?

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/aug/14/ex-porn-star-mia-khalifa-life-internet-x-rated-industry?

Why are people silent about the abuses and exploitation in porn?

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/aug/15/why-are-people-silent-about-the-abuses-and-exploitation-in-porn?

I Disagree With This.

Why, you may ask?

Let’s explore the statement in question shall we.

“Men are born to pursue women”.

But are we?

For my 1cents worth, I think this is utter garbage.

Furthermore, I think this statement and the justification following it is a relic of history even now, and will continue to erode further the more gender equal we get.

#justsayin

Keep loving like there is no tomorrow.

AES

Sex for rent: the rogue landlords who offer free rooms in return for ‘favours’

Update, June 2019. Still not completely happy with the flow of this one but will leave it up and further improve it over time.

Found in The Guardian – “Sex for rent: the rogue landlords who offer free rooms in return for ‘favours’”

Https://www.theguardian.com/money/2018/apr/02/sex-for-rent-accommodation-rogue-landlords-campaign?

Good journalism to uncover this issue, but I want to dig deeper.

Why is this the case? And what is the initial “why” (I thought about saying root-cause, but not even I am that tacky!)?

For mine that why is SEX.

My gut feeling as amassed via a number of “heard it here or read it there” feels over time tells me Men have been doing this since the dawn of time, which in no way, shape or form should be condoned, but lately it has become enough of a thing at the right frequency to attract further attention (thankyou interwebs).

For me, it just further highlights the disconnects between Men & Women that few ever think about, discuss or ever admit. I hope articles such as this one I linked above direct those conversations a little more and put us on a path to reconciling some of the gaping holes in human sexuality.

In the long term, the way I see this subject evolving is with women finding further societal equality and the continued wholesale rejection of a lot of old school learnt ways essentially not needing men the way they do now.

We are already seeing this on the fringes with relationship models (that have been around forever) as minnows in comparison to monogamy slowly coming into their own.

As an FYI, the most recent Australian census reported another minor rise in those identifying as living in a single person household. No decrease is telling.

https://quickstats.censusdata.abs.gov.au/census_services/getproduct/census/2016/quickstat/036

The end game for sex I think will see technology providing women with the ability and choice of satisfying their sexual and reproductive desires with another woman or women via female support networks, as just one example of many potential options available.

Women’s sexual growth will continue to occur slowly but I feel that there is way to much water under the bridge for any meaningful change to occur over the next century.

Men in the short term will continue to satisfy their sexual urges via existing hookups, relationships, prostitution and then in the longer term via artificial intelligence (AI) in the with the continual normal interweaving and crossovers between the sexes as necessary to bring satisfaction to those individuals of both genders outside the ‘normal’ range of sexuality, which may or may not be a thing but it’s the best I have to describe how I see things at this time.

Marriage won’t die off (damn!) but will be like Long Player (LP) records. A novelty that some still swear by.

Then there will those who will be content to just hang together and share their life with another, equally and fully. They are the cool kids. Dig!

It’s been interesting growing up at the end of free love and seeing it morph into numerous relationship forms once I was old enough to understand them. Changes that I hope brings a slightly better world one day.

Peace to y’all.

AnEthicalSlut

On Sex & Power.

I write this wondering if and when Men and Women will genuinely start having a meaning discussion about sexuality and the power it wields?

Is sex the elephant in the room that very few people ever acknowledge and/or walk a mile to understand?

Or is it all about power?

I am not the first to be confused how these two subjects weave between both genders.

Perhaps it’s a mix of both?

Currently Hollywood is going into meltdown with many sexual harassment cases rearing their ugly heads, and about time too. #metoo

I do wonder where we are heading as two genders whom have traditionally sought out each other, until death do us part?

The key point for me in all of this as viewed through the lens of lived experience (yes, complete with my own set of biases!) is that both genders really have no real idea of what life is like as the opposite sex and many aren’t interested in that knowing either.

There is miles of the written word and many songs sung and I get the feeling that many like to think they have it all worked out but really, unless you have been there ( hormone patches) or have made a concerted effort to walk a mile in the shoes of your opposite, you really have no factual basis on how the other lives.

I am strongly of the opinion that education has to lead the way on both of these subjects, and it possibly slowly is, as magnificent teachers all across the world do their little bit to educate and balance young men & women which in turn hopefully creates a better society for all.

We the people who want to handover a better world therefore must continue to stand up to those who resist change on a sniff.

It makes for interesting times as always and great debate with those who are interested in such things.

Adios

AES

Ignorance is bliss….so very true.