What have we learned from 50 years of studying porn? ‘Heterosexuality is essentially broken’, via Guardian Australia.

OMG, OMG, OMG…soz, didn’t say hi, because this article has blown my tiny mind.

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED (and/or CARE) ABOUT SEXUALITY, PORN, CONSENT, SEX EDUCATION…then you really need to read this.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/sep/02/what-have-we-learned-from-50-years-of-studying-porn-heterosexuality-is-essentially-broken

Why, because we need to smash the patriarchy and then rebuild sexuality from the ground up. #FACT

Porn has a part to play & if you have read a little of my take on things, you will have read that I am very interested in ethical porn and the positive sexual environment it can feed into.

I thus give massive props to Prof Alan McKee and the other researchers who took the time to look at this massive issue and provide guidance like this that will only help the debate we need to continue having, preferably more in the mainstream.

It proves to me that I am largely on the right track with this blog and as such will continue to link articles about human sexuality that I hope influence readers to read widely & most importantly communicate with others about this very important issue within humanity.

And please, if you do go down interesting rabbit holes and think it would be something I might enjoy then feel free to send me a message and I will check it out.

Cheers

AES

Jefferson Airplane – White Rabbit

I Had an Ex-Boyfriend “With Benefits” and It Was Some of the Best Sex Ever by Emme Witt, via Medium.

Hi all,

A quickie today. Really enjoyed this short read from Emme about fucking your ex.

Why? Because of how she weaves power into the story, the imbalances thereof and how important it is to understand where power resides in your relationship.

It matters. It really does.

https://link.medium.com/gRwY4sjFusb

Anyhoo, as I always try to mention when reposting someone else’s work, Medium is a subscription reader chock full of just about any rabbit hole you feel inclined to drop down for a look.

I have been a subscriber for years and if they keep the same or a similar formula looking after their writers, I will keep renewing

And on Medium you will find Emme and so many others to scratch your itch I can recommend it highly enough.

Anyway, I hope you click through, because this one is a good’n.

Cheers

AES

Meshell Ndeocello – Boyfriend

Embracing my inner salacious little slut, by Tris Harkness – via Medium.

Hi all,

I just read the post below from Tris and felt I needed to repost it here largely because it was such a positive read.

https://link.medium.com/yWBYdzmzQqb

Tris clearly articulates her situation in this post and how she has gone from a woman in sexual chains to one released.

I have feeling that there are more than a few women out there like Tris, who are locked into patriarchal prison, which unfortunately so many men are fine with maintaining but for whatever reason cannot see.

And then there are some who just like the default creation and actively subvert female sexual power & energy at every take.

Also to be clear, this isn’t anywhere as simple as you might expect and thus I would contend that there is also a large cohort of women who like the way things have been and are very keen to not see them change.

But times are a changin, and there is no holding back this tide so if on reading this you decide to take a chance and trust in your sexuality, I hope it is a good experience and you come out of it with more faith in yourself and your place in the world.

Anyway, please have a read and I hope you walk down the Medium road & support writers like Tris because women like her are contributing to a better world for all of us.

Cheers

AES

Tears For Fears – Woman In Chains

The Green Eyed Monster…is never far away.

Hi all,

Came across this thread on Reddit and found it interesting.

I have written about jealousy before and frankly can’t admit to knowing any more about or indeed having any more or less control over it than anyone else.

I am however, a student of the mind and as it is our largest sexual organ and primarily the place where jealousy will show itself from I had to repost this thread here.

Please have a read of the article and as much of the thread as you can manage (I got a few scrolls in) and if you want to discuss this important emotion as related to sexuality, please add a comment.

I would love to read other people’s take on it.

Cheers

AES

The Gun Blossoms – Hey Jealousy

Meghan Madness re: Kinks, via Medium.

Hi all,

There lots in the Medium link below to gorge your mind on.

A bit of sexy, a bit of psychology, a bit of looking inwards & outwards to understand where you are on the great escalator of your sexual life.

As a self proclaimed lover of all things kink, I dig any and all discussion on this subject. I really love the psychology side of sexuality and how the mind combines with your stage of sexual growth and understanding.

We are all different and at different stages in our lives, sexual development and awareness and if you are interested in walking this road it pays to understand as many sides of your sexy shape before you decide to open up to a prospective partner in kinky crime.

Are you a sexy Pentagon, a simple but efficient circle, a crazy deep octagon or something else entirely?

Anyhoo, Meghan nails it to the mast below (way better than me) so I highly recommend you click through and if you aren’t satiated after this, read some more of her stuff… it’s good 😛

https://link.medium.com/IAP15wA7hpb

Lastly, as I always say, Medium is a subscription service and a bloody good one at that. Please grab yourself a subscription if it’s right for you at this time and blow your mind on any and all subjects on the site.

Cheers

AES

Red Hot Chili Peppers – Sir Psycho Sexy

‘I suffered for my rage’: Sofia Helin on Lust, The Bridge and the collapse of Sweden’s #MeToo movement (via Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

This looks interesting.

It has a great show motto for a start ” Sex is the highway to health” but whilst this is a strong sentence well worth exploring further in its own right, the show – Lust – looks really interesting itself.

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2022/apr/12/i-suffered-for-my-rage-sofia-helin-on-lust-the-bridge-and-the-collapse-of-swedens-metoo-movement

Please have a look if it’s something that interests you. I will definitely be having a look for it and hope that it shows on SBS here in Australia because I have interest in another bloody streaming subscription.

Anyway, that’s me for this short & sweet post.

Adios

AES

Only half of US adolescents receive adequate sex education — and Black and Hispanic youth are especially left behind.

Hi all,

I have spoken at length about sex education on this blog with the aim of trying to assist ongoing education in this important area of human development in my small way.

I was though saddened to read this just now as reported in Psypost and written by Beth Ellwood;

https://www.psypost.org/2022/03/only-half-of-us-adolescents-receive-adequate-sex-education-and-black-and-hispanic-youth-are-especially-left-behind-62664

This study says that sex education was better 25 years ago. Wow!

So why is that? Is this the pendulum of conservatism showing its hand or religion or both. Or is this something else altogether?

I am confused and genuinely interested in reading the article again and properly this time to see what has influenced this ordinary result.

If you read this article and have an opinion on it, please add a comment as I would like to understand this research and it subsequent results better.

BTW – here’s a link to the Reddit feed I found this article in…

https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/t4z38e/only_half_of_us_adolescents_receive_adequate_sex

Cheers

AES

Watch “Sci-Fi Short Film: “The Five Minutes” | DUST” on YouTube

Hi all,

The link below is a heavy viewing and more great short film from Dust.

It’s heavy but it’s good, and well worth a look IMHO. It’s about a couple who have drifted apart. The male is the protagonist and clearly the main instigator of the rift.

But as anyone who knows anything about relationships, there’s always two to blame

https://youtu.be/H2Ns_K4148g

Seriously, check this out. I am stoked that Dust popped into my YT feed.

It’s been a great journey thus far and I look forward to many more interesting sci-fi takes on all things human sexuality & relationships.

Adios

AES

Lacey & Flynn Have Sex via The Guardian.

Hi all,

This is a bit of interesting…

I highly recommend that you read the article below as there’s a lot to process in it. Coco Khan has done a fantastic job in listening to this couple and doing them justice in the article.

Essentially, Lacey & Flynn are putting themselves out there via podcast to talk about all things on sex and their relationship. Apparently they actually have sex during the podcast!

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/15/panting-moaning-and-pussy-gazing-the-couple-who-podcast-their-elevated-sex-sessions?

I have read the article a couple of times and whilst I applaud them both in taking on a massive subject such as sex, it’s probably not a pod I could see myself listening to.

Why? Well I think the older I get the less interested I am in sex with another human. It’s hard work especially navigating the emotional side that one must confront if you want more than a one night stand.

I may though check out an episode or two from Flynn where he is talking about male sexuality. That is something I definitely relate to at present

All that said though, this pod is recommended if you have the energy and are willing to put yourself out there (in a more difficult time than usual).

My thanks to Coco for this article. It’s a good read and I hope you get something out of it.

Cheers

AES

Bjork – Big Time Sensuality

Libido – An explainer (thank you Dipsea) :-)

Hi all,

Libido…the main attraction at all of our respective showgrounds. The proverbial rollercoaster!

Not a day goes by (as a male) where I not up and/or down in regards to this bodily function, especially now as I get older. One upon a time I could spank the monkey four times a day, sleep for 8 hours and repeat without an issue.

Now, it’s like once a day at best. And frankly I am completely fine with that. Because for once in my life I can occasionally break that life-cycle and save up that precious orgasm so it’s volcanic when I reach climax. Damn…that be some good times!

Dipsea – being the amazing sex positive company that it is, have a good explainer on libido which you will find at the link. It’s worth a few minutes of your time if this is something that interests you. I found the article an enjoyable read.

The main takeaway for me is that libido is something that we should never ever stress about. There’s enough in this life already to stress about, and then some.

And I really liked the self-care advice regards masturbation. I hold strong opinions on masturbation as a tool that can really keep you on a level and it’s great for a good nights sleep also.

Anyhoo, that’s me for this short and sweet post.

Have a great Christmas or however you celebrate the season and I will see you back here for another year of stepping ever so gently through the minefield that is human sexuality.

Merry Christmas

AES

Eartha Kitt – Santa Baby

The secret to great sex? It’s not what you think …(via Guardian Australia).

Update: this post has gone a bit crazy so it’s high time I mentioned the author.

Linked article by: Alexandra Jones.

Hi all,

A good’n below tis…(translates as there is a good post below).

Found this on The Guardian Australia and after reading it, I felt there was some good stuff in the article that needed to be further shared.

At 50 years of age, I completely get the need for quality sex. 34 years in training surely is enough time to dot your i’s and cross your t’s on this important human activity.

I enjoyed lots about this article, especially the mind and how important it is, being present and also opening your mind to all the possibilities that intimacy offers.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/26/he-secret-to-great-sex-erotic-intimacy-study?

Anyway, as always, if human sexuality is your bag (baby – Mr Austin Powers), then this article above will be a moth to a flame moment for you, and I will be the other moth circling the light totally engaged with it also.

And I promise to say hi as we dance around it, wings outstretched, totally enamoured by its beauty.

Enjoy people,

AES (for N’s Oma)

Donna Summer – Love To Love You Baby

Dan Savage: ‘When politicians leave sex alone, I’ll leave politics alone’ (via The Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

Dan Savage ROCKS!

He has single-handedly shown us how to build robust walls to protect those of us grasping at any one time with the many issues that make up human sexuality, against the conservative tide that seeks to erode sexuality to a lights off under the covers 5-minute wham-bam, thankyou ma’am exercise.

I used to read his column back in the day and always looked up to him as someone who wasn’t afraid to speak a truth that was being hushed daily whack-a-mole style by way too many blinkered fools.

I loved reading this article and I hope you do too.

He is a fantastic human being and I thank him for his contribution to humanity and sexuality.

Kind regards

AES

Clamping koala: how a new sex guide prompted complaints – and delight (via The Guardian).

How good are the Norwegians?

In my mind, utterly brilliant.  Now lets contrast that with conservative Australia.

OMG…shit would get real for our public broadcaster if they made and distributed something like this.  I can just imagine the hoo-haa that Murdoch media (the city papers, SKY, city radio stations (AM) etc.) would drum up.

That said SBS Australia is known for its risque programming so maybe there is some hope there after all.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jun/21/clamping-koala-how-a-new-sex-guide-prompted-complaints-and-delight

Anyway, I am just glad someone is talking about sexuality as that’s the only way we move forward as a species.

Enjoy
AES

Keep it down! Why sales of silent sex toys are surging.

Hi all,

I came across this sex positive article in The Guardian and had to share it.

I love that this subject is being written about in tbe mainstream media.

The prudes can all go and jump off a jetty for all I care.
I want to see more of this.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/feb/22/keep-it-down-why-sales-of-silent-sex-toys-are-surging

Many thanks to the journo who researched and penned it and the subby for supporting stories like this.

I hope you click on through…

Regards
AES

https://youtu.be/kcPc18SG6uA

My porn life: what my years as a sex writer taught me about my desires.

Hi all,

This looks like another great read on the subject of subjects.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/feb/16/want-me-tracy-clark-flory-excerpt-sex-writer-reporter

I am off to find this book now and I hope after you have had a look at the link above, you might also.

Education is key to us finding real gender balance.

Regards
AES