By Dr Samantha Rodman via Medium.
Dr Samantha Rodman “like totally” on point in this post on Medium.
She makes some very valid points IMHO with the main takeaway for me being consensus & compromise.
I wonder how many relationships this particular need affects?
With divorce rates as high as they are I think it would be a solid water to say this issue is definitely in the mix, probably not as a top tier issue but definitely in the shadows lurking and playing it’s part in any life decisions that are made.
Anyway, short & sweet this morning. I hope those of you who read the link get something from the doc’s post.
And please consider supporting Medium or at the least buying the writers that help open our minds a coffee once in a blue moon.
Tis’ a beautiful thing.
Kenny Wayne Shepherd – Blue On Black
By Patricia Druckerman via Guardian Australia.
I just came across this article. Patricia Druckerman writes a good write and I expect if you click through, you also may find it an enjoyable read.
She covers many interesting points, all of which I would contend factor into our sex lives at one point or another on the journey.
What stood out to me the most was her paragraph towards the end of the article wherein she mentions the male gaze and the tiredness I certainly feel (and I gather many other men of or around my vintage feel) in regards to seeking out sex.
All in all though, I commend her for writing about the experience and all of the baggage that was accumulated from the planning through to the physical act and then additionally writing about it and the barrage of opinions, good & bad that rebounded back at her.
Lastly, I will leave you with an interesting thought. My next post will be commentary on new research that states we are having less sex than at any time previous in history.
This is very interesting to me and I am keen to unpack, write about it and try to understand the “why” as best I can.
Anyway, until the next time inspiration strikes… Adios.
via Reddit, https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/zwntgy/i_am_hazel_redgate_aka_portarossa_and_ive_been_a professional smut writer for 9 years.
I came across this thread on Reddit this morning and I am really enjoying the questions posed by the community and answers supplied by u/Portarossa. Please click through and have a read yourself if it’s something that interests you. Her deep dives sound really interesting as does her writing generally.
As for moi, I have written about erotica a little previously specifically as viewed through the lens of Medium.
I absolutely love some of the writers on there and how they can tease out a story and raise my temperature enough to, as someone mentions in the thread, needing rub one out!
I have not come across this lady previously but am stoked to stumble across her work because kind of like Dipsea and Medium, fantasy’s are so much better with some detail in the mix.
Anyway, will leave it here and try to get my updated creampie post out before the clock strikes midnight on NY Eve.
I have reworked it about 10 times so far and whilst I am close to happy, it refuses to flow for me. #bugger.
Catch you next time,
This show looks really good and I reckon I will check it out.
It does my head in how we treat disabled people. We are all so involved in our own little worlds that these people rarely if ever come into view for most people.
And a show like this largely justifies that statement. Seriously, ask yourself…when was the last time, if ever, you have thought about how disabled people find intimacy?
I am not trying to push buttons because I am no angel either. The best I have on that account is that I am aware of some sex workers who offer their services to disabled people.
Other than that, it wasn’t on my radar either, and that is yet another failure of modern society IMHO
The other reason I want to watch this is because Nina Oyama is one of the show’s writers.
She is a very funny and liberal comedian and I like her humour. Here she is at MCF if you want to check her out.
Anyhoo, when it’s all said and done, the good news is by discussing topics like this it’s clear we are moving forward as a society even though if at times it feels like we are going backwards.
Freedom – George Michael
Just checked my Medium feed and Meghan has dropped this in the last couple of days.
“3 Unnoticeable Things I Learned From Watching Other Couples Have Sex” is an absolute bomb of a read.
FWIW, I will go on record here as a serial offender who is trying to get his head around the reverse of the problem that Meghan mentions.
I don’t think I am selfish but I am a hedonistic bastard who (unthinkingly) so easily hops, skips & jumps on the high speed line to pleasure during the act that I know for a fact that I have been considered a poor shag at times during this life.
Which is the reason that writing such as this is so valuable and I for one will be tipping Meghan after posting this because with her words she is asking us to think about how each of us does intimacy and whether you need a spring clean or indeed need to go back to the books.
So, as always I hope you will drop in on Meghan via this link and maybe check out a few of her other posts.
I really value her opinion and so many others on Medium. It is one of the anchorages in which I seek shelter when this world gets me down with all the death and destruction we (male hands bring mostly) allow to occur in our name.
Catch you next time people,
Icehouse – We Can Get Together (live)
OMG, OMG, OMG…soz, didn’t say hi, because this article has blown my tiny mind.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED (and/or CARE) ABOUT SEXUALITY, PORN, CONSENT, SEX EDUCATION…then you really need to read this.
Why, because we need to smash the patriarchy and then rebuild sexuality from the ground up. #FACT
Porn has a part to play & if you have read a little of my take on things, you will have read that I am very interested in ethical porn and the positive sexual environment it can feed into.
I thus give massive props to Prof Alan McKee and the other researchers who took the time to look at this massive issue and provide guidance like this that will only help the debate we need to continue having, preferably more in the mainstream.
It proves to me that I am largely on the right track with this blog and as such will continue to link articles about human sexuality that I hope influence readers to read widely & most importantly communicate with others about this very important issue within humanity.
And please, if you do go down interesting rabbit holes and think it would be something I might enjoy then feel free to send me a message and I will check it out.
Jefferson Airplane – White Rabbit
A quickie today. Really enjoyed this short read from Emme about fucking your ex.
Why? Because of how she weaves power into the story, the imbalances thereof and how important it is to understand where power resides in your relationship.
It matters. It really does.
Anyhoo, as I always try to mention when reposting someone else’s work, Medium is a subscription reader chock full of just about any rabbit hole you feel inclined to drop down for a look.
I have been a subscriber for years and if they keep the same or a similar formula looking after their writers, I will keep renewing
And on Medium you will find Emme and so many others to scratch your itch I can recommend it highly enough.
Anyway, I hope you click through, because this one is a good’n.
Meshell Ndeocello – Boyfriend
I just read the post below from Tris and felt I needed to repost it here largely because it was such a positive read.
Tris clearly articulates her situation in this post and how she has gone from a woman in sexual chains to one released.
I have feeling that there are more than a few women out there like Tris, who are locked into patriarchal prison, which unfortunately so many men are fine with maintaining but for whatever reason cannot see.
And then there are some who just like the default creation and actively subvert female sexual power & energy at every take.
Also to be clear, this isn’t anywhere as simple as you might expect and thus I would contend that there is also a large cohort of women who like the way things have been and are very keen to not see them change.
But times are a changin, and there is no holding back this tide so if on reading this you decide to take a chance and trust in your sexuality, I hope it is a good experience and you come out of it with more faith in yourself and your place in the world.
Anyway, please have a read and I hope you walk down the Medium road & support writers like Tris because women like her are contributing to a better world for all of us.
Tears For Fears – Woman In Chains
Came across this thread on Reddit and found it interesting.
I have written about jealousy before and frankly can’t admit to knowing any more about or indeed having any more or less control over it than anyone else.
I am however, a student of the mind and as it is our largest sexual organ and primarily the place where jealousy will show itself from I had to repost this thread here.
Please have a read of the article and as much of the thread as you can manage (I got a few scrolls in) and if you want to discuss this important emotion as related to sexuality, please add a comment.
I would love to read other people’s take on it.
The Gun Blossoms – Hey Jealousy
There lots in the Medium link below to gorge your mind on.
A bit of sexy, a bit of psychology, a bit of looking inwards & outwards to understand where you are on the great escalator of your sexual life.
As a self proclaimed lover of all things kink, I dig any and all discussion on this subject. I really love the psychology side of sexuality and how the mind combines with your stage of sexual growth and understanding.
We are all different and at different stages in our lives, sexual development and awareness and if you are interested in walking this road it pays to understand as many sides of your sexy shape before you decide to open up to a prospective partner in kinky crime.
Are you a sexy Pentagon, a simple but efficient circle, a crazy deep octagon or something else entirely?
Anyhoo, Meghan nails it to the mast below (way better than me) so I highly recommend you click through and if you aren’t satiated after this, read some more of her stuff… it’s good 😛
Lastly, as I always say, Medium is a subscription service and a bloody good one at that. Please grab yourself a subscription if it’s right for you at this time and blow your mind on any and all subjects on the site.
Red Hot Chili Peppers – Sir Psycho Sexy
This looks interesting.
It has a great show motto for a start ” Sex is the highway to health” but whilst this is a strong sentence well worth exploring further in its own right, the show – Lust – looks really interesting itself.
Please have a look if it’s something that interests you. I will definitely be having a look for it and hope that it shows on SBS here in Australia because I have interest in another bloody streaming subscription.
Anyway, that’s me for this short & sweet post.
I have spoken at length about sex education on this blog with the aim of trying to assist ongoing education in this important area of human development in my small way.
I was though saddened to read this just now as reported in Psypost and written by Beth Ellwood;
This study says that sex education was better 25 years ago. Wow!
So why is that? Is this the pendulum of conservatism showing its hand or religion or both. Or is this something else altogether?
I am confused and genuinely interested in reading the article again and properly this time to see what has influenced this ordinary result.
If you read this article and have an opinion on it, please add a comment as I would like to understand this research and it subsequent results better.
BTW – here’s a link to the Reddit feed I found this article in…
The link below is a heavy viewing and more great short film from Dust.
It’s heavy but it’s good, and well worth a look IMHO. It’s about a couple who have drifted apart. The male is the protagonist and clearly the main instigator of the rift.
But as anyone who knows anything about relationships, there’s always two to blame
Seriously, check this out. I am stoked that Dust popped into my YT feed.
It’s been a great journey thus far and I look forward to many more interesting sci-fi takes on all things human sexuality & relationships.
This is a bit of interesting…
I highly recommend that you read the article below as there’s a lot to process in it. Coco Khan has done a fantastic job in listening to this couple and doing them justice in the article.
Essentially, Lacey & Flynn are putting themselves out there via podcast to talk about all things on sex and their relationship. Apparently they actually have sex during the podcast!
I have read the article a couple of times and whilst I applaud them both in taking on a massive subject such as sex, it’s probably not a pod I could see myself listening to.
Why? Well I think the older I get the less interested I am in sex with another human. It’s hard work especially navigating the emotional side that one must confront if you want more than a one night stand.
I may though check out an episode or two from Flynn where he is talking about male sexuality. That is something I definitely relate to at present
All that said though, this pod is recommended if you have the energy and are willing to put yourself out there (in a more difficult time than usual).
My thanks to Coco for this article. It’s a good read and I hope you get something out of it.
Bjork – Big Time Sensuality
Libido…the main attraction at all of our respective showgrounds. The proverbial rollercoaster!
Not a day goes by (as a male) where I not up and/or down in regards to this bodily function, especially now as I get older. One upon a time I could spank the monkey four times a day, sleep for 8 hours and repeat without an issue.
Now, it’s like once a day at best. And frankly I am completely fine with that. Because for once in my life I can occasionally break that life-cycle and save up that precious orgasm so it’s volcanic when I reach climax. Damn…that be some good times!
Dipsea – being the amazing sex positive company that it is, have a good explainer on libido which you will find at the link. It’s worth a few minutes of your time if this is something that interests you. I found the article an enjoyable read.
The main takeaway for me is that libido is something that we should never ever stress about. There’s enough in this life already to stress about, and then some.
And I really liked the self-care advice regards masturbation. I hold strong opinions on masturbation as a tool that can really keep you on a level and it’s great for a good nights sleep also.
Anyhoo, that’s me for this short and sweet post.
Have a great Christmas or however you celebrate the season and I will see you back here for another year of stepping ever so gently through the minefield that is human sexuality.
Eartha Kitt – Santa Baby
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