Happening review – sex and abortion on the new frontline in 60s France (via Guardian Australia).

Hi all,

This looks good.

And Happening is especially relevant at the moment with Texas and its new laws regarding abortion.

In Australia, the backwater that it can be at times, we also have a conservative government who can’t or won’t get its collective (pardon my use of that word. I understand it doesn’t apply to conservatives) head around women and their place as equals in society.

Check out the review above and maybe it appeals, or maybe not?

Either way, it highlights an issue we very much need to confront and work through in both genders.

Adios
AES

Ani DiFranco – Tiptoe

I walked 6km’s in the Hawaiian sun to buy this album “Living In Clip” which I had heard first on 3RRR Melbourne – Off The Record (Saturday morning’s at 9am).

It was so worth it.

OnlyFans to ban adult material…WTF!

Update 25th Aug – decision to remove pornographic material has been suspended…

Hi all,

You may have missed this or maybe not. I didnt.

Firstly, I will admit to never venturing onto Only Fans but I am clear in understanding it to be a step forward for humanity in finally acknowledging our rampant sexuality and hitting online free porn with a sharp uppercut in the process.

As Tim says below, it enabled sex-workers and other individuals to monetise their art safely and also as I have said above, hitting back at free-porn (which is an indidious evil run by a handful of individuals that exists only to exploit people and is I would contend not a step in the right direction for sexual freedom and individual liberties).

If you’ve never heard of OnlyFans at all, it’s a site where people share images and video, which fans can access after paying a certain amount per month. It’s become popular with sex workers and online performers because it allows them to build a safe relationship with fans without having to just upload their work to the public internet. Of course, it’s popular with fans of that kind of content too because they can support and communicate with performers directly.
It’s $US5 billion so far, $US2 billion in the last year, of which 80 per cent went to creators. But porn makes people nervous (and exposes thorny issues, with OnlyFans saying last month it deactivated 15 accounts for posting images of underage people); big investors and banks don’t want a bar of it. Like Twitch with its clothing policies or Tumblr’s anti-queer pivot in 2018, the internet loves to support sexual freedom and expression, unless it gets in the way of perpetual growth.
via The Age, Melbourne

This link from the Guardian provides an update on what happened with Only Fans and why they have taken the action they have.

And here’s another article to get you up to speed;

https://www.inputmag.com/tech/onlyfans-is-banning-porn-the-very-thing-that-made-it-big

Tumblr went the same way in cutting out sexual expression when they decided to go all draconian on creators and what they were saying through their posts.

I had a Tumblr account and I was happy to pay a price to check out sexy posts from people that had a particular sexual bent that I found interesting.

Just imagine the potential here people. If done right with the right regulation and settings in place, sites like Tumblr and Only Fans and others that have come and gone over the years might have even got as far one day to coax sexuality like beastiality and other weird shit that I personally would rather see regulated and available to those who want to pay for that stuff rather than on the dark web with us the tax-payer continually chucking cash in the law enforcement bucket to chase these evil people down and prosecute their arses only to rinse and repeat next month.

I mean, c’mon…really? Surely one day we can fucking well acknowledge who we are as humans and all the fucking weird shit that we think about and make it available for those that are interested such that people of all ages, races and cultures stop being exploited by a few rich arseholes across the world.

Is that really too much to ask?

Anyway, sorry for the rant. There’s a bit of information for you which I think clearly outlines where we are in regards to sexuality (still) and where we need to be if we are to see real change in humanity and the way we generally perceive sex.

Regards
AES

‘An artist in search of good material’: being a receptionist at an Auckland massage parlour (via Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

This looks like a rollicking read.

Its a book by Megan Dunn and the link below will provide you with an extract from it.

The story goes that she took a job at a Auckland, NZ “massage parlour” as their “receptionist” and the book goes into quite some detail about what she experienced whilst doing the job.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/aug/23/an-artist-in-search-of-good-material-being-a-receptionist-at-an-auckland-massage-parlour

I will grab a copy because firstly the extract reads well and also because, for a short time many years ago, I was one of the people feeding receptionist’s like her at “massage parlours” with clients.

In between jobs I did a stint of taxi driving and whoooo…mama, that 18 odd months was an eye opening experience into vagaries of the human being.

Anyway  I am looking forward to reading another perspective about another facet of sex-work essential to the running of “massage parlours” and all that it entails.

The good, bad and downright hilarious.

Cheers
AES

Weddings, Parties, Anything- For A Short Time

Those days…in the brothel(s).

Hi all,

Just like so many men since time immortal, years ago I found my way into many houses of ill-repute (why they are called that?, I need to know now.).

I did this to enjoy some brief intimacy with those wonderful women who offer their bodies up to the male sex-drive in return for money.

I generally got around to visiting these places for a half an hour, three-quarters of an hour and even booked once for an hour and a half.

They were all amazing battle-hardened women although some just had dollar signs in their eyes which in hindsight thinking about this time in my life, I completely understand.

A couple I would have definitely gone back for, one in particular, a young woman in Richmond whom I had a half an hour booking with was wonderful. I contend that we got as close to making love as a sex-worker and her client possibly could.

Another young lady from a brothel in Seaford was entirely the opposite and from the first minute of entering the room after I had showered and rinsed my mouth started with the rules according to her.

I remember putting my clothes back on and cutting that session short as clearly her head couldnt get into the zone you need to be in to do this line of work.

I am updating this original post in August 2021 as written 10 years ago.

It needed it and whilst I have updated it around the edges previously, it was nothing to be proud of and I am glad I chose to give it a full makeover.

I was in a bad place back then and I completely understand why Incels have become a thing.

Its largely to do with education and the way we treat women and whilst things are changing, much more needs to be done.

Anyway, I will finish this post by saying that if you are in a bad place drop me a line.

I made it through the minefield via the longest route and I understand how men feel about sexuality & rejection.

Reach out if you need to.

We go on…

AES

Mr Mister – Bare My Soul

Times are a changin…

Hi all,

I have seen this change coming for a while so believe me when I say that having a child as a single parent or as a same-sex couple is going to be the next big thing for the matriarchy.

COVID-19 pandemic-fuelled IVF baby boom creating ‘sperm drought’ across Australia – ABC News via @inkl https://inkl.com/a/QJxnvZiLmbk

The world is clearly changing and women are slowly winning battles that will enable them to be genuine equals against the dominant gender (as things always should have been in humanity from the start but never were).

So mark my words that I definitely can see a time in the next 10 years or so when some governments swing their policies to support this now viable option in order to keep births at a sustainable replacement rate.

But where there are winners, there will also be losers and one winner from the loser category (see what I did there!) might be the incel groups who will keep growing as women tread their own path either alone or with another woman rather than a man.

As always, it makes for interesting times and I will definitely be writing more about this so if you have gotten this far, please drop by again as…

Shit’s about to get real for the patriarchy!

Regards
AES

Mr Mister, Something Real

Blind date: ‘Would we have kissed? We shall never know’ (via Guardian Australia)

Hi all,

I read these columns every now and then and always enjoy them.

This one was another classic date night with two interesting people meeting each other in public for the first time.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jul/03/blind-date-eva-anita?

The parts of the column I find really interesting, actually the questions I find interesting are;

1. What did you talk about?

I like this question because I havent yet  seen a set of answers that align between both people.  That I find really interesting.

Note: that this could be some selective editing to?

2.  Marks out of 10?

And this because who doesnt enjoy seeing some potential for happiness being created.

These two people gave each other a 10 and I really hope those numbers and the general vibe we the reader gets from the column means that these two people will catch up again.

Enjoy 🙂
AES

Van Halen, Love Walks In.

Victorian government to decriminalise sex work after review hears of exploitation (via The Guardian Aust).

This is brilliant news and I look forward to reading more on and about the decision over the next few weeks so I can break it down further on this blog.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/jun/30/victorian-government-to-decriminalise-sex-work-after-review-hears-of-exploitation

Update 28th Aug 2021, again from The Guardian Aust;

“The Queensland government has taken the first step toward decriminalising sex work, asking the law reform commission to review and investigate the regulation of a new framework for the industry.

It comes a week after legislation to decriminalise sex work was tabled in the Victorian parliament.

The Queensland attorney general, Shannon Fentiman, told AAP on Saturday:

Feedback from the sector has been that current laws criminalise safety strategies used by sex workers.

A key focus of this review is the safety of workers and putting in place proper regulation so the industry doesn’t operate in the shadows.

Sex workers shouldn’t have to choose between working legally and being safe at work.

The Queensland Law Reform Commission will consult with workers and licensees, their representative bodies and other stakeholders as part of the process.

There are currently two legal forms of regulated sex work in Queensland: services provided in a licensed brothel, not including outcalls from the premises; and those provided by sole operators in-house or as outcalls.

Any other form of sex work is illegal including services provided by escort agencies, unlicensed brothels, massage parlours, street workers and two or more sex workers operating from a single premises.

The commission will provide its report, including any draft legislation required by 27 November 2022″.

Finally, sex-work is finding a legal & sensible place in this country.

I welcome this long overdue change.


Cheers
AES

The Police, Roxanne

Ghislaine Maxwell began to share ‘little black book’ with Epstein as early as the 1980s (via The Guardian Aust).

Hi again all,

Men.

You don’t have to be Einstein to understand that the male gender has been responsible for so much pain and suffering towards women since time immortal.

Just try this.  As an exercise in the comprehension of this statement take the next 10-15 seconds and think about the amount of times you have heard about men behaving badly over the past 5-10 years.

And I dont mean to be awful, but if you didn’t get to five as a minimum, you haven’t been paying attention.

In getting down from my soap-box now  I will admit that I kinda understand if you couldnt recall many as I largely switch off now also. 

There’s just too many.

This list above was last updated 18 months ago…and as far as I can see is only US men!!

Then there’s the now departed Mr Epstein & Ms Maxwell.  That’s a whole other can of worms!

And why Ghislane shared the book…we may never know?

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/jun/27/ghislaine-maxwell-began-to-share-little-black-book-with-epstein-as-early-as-the-1980s?

And what drives this behaviour???

I genuinely dont know but I have said for a long time that testosterone, the male sex hormone clearly needs to be understood better…by everyone. 

And…

#STAT

I think its fair to say that most men including yours truly only barely understands it’s power.

One thought (read potential solution) I have entertained for a while would be for each gender to wear patches containing the opposite sex’s hormone for a short time at the appropriate time during their development (if indeed there is an appropriate time as each gender develops?).

I am no scientist but just maybe this would help the level of understanding  and in doing so assist us to reduce the incidence of harassment, associated sex crimes and general bastardry we impart on women as we men grow up.

Clearly though, we need to keep moving forward on this massive problem that potentially ends in a similar way to that reported in my last post.

And that, dear readers is a bloody sad &  sorry situation.

WE CAN AND MUST DO BETTER.

AES

A very sad situation.

Hi all,

I just came across this article and it really resonated with me.

I warn you, it’s bloody sad but please have a read of it at the link below and then make up your own mind.

Valerie Bacot: French woman who murdered her rapist husband walks free from court.

The Telegraph via @inkl https://inkl.com/a/bddkMAILBMv

For my one cents worth, this is yet another story in a recent chapter of an old and long book on patriachal control that really needs more support from the masses to enable it to cut through and be heard in our centres of power.

That support will empower our politicians to move on it and make some real forward progress on gender relations.

Without that support and overall understanding of what is at stake here from the general public, women will continue to suffer at the hands of men as they have for far too long now.

Things need to change and the only way this happens is through legislation and thus law.

It’s just not good enough for even one woman (first world Australian context) to suffer at the hands of a man in 2021.

Please read up on this subject and if you also feel that change is needed, then please seek out the political party at the next election that has policies which will move us forward and give them your vote.

This must stop.

AES

Till It Happens To You, Lady Gaga

Clamping koala: how a new sex guide prompted complaints – and delight (via The Guardian).

How good are the Norwegians?

In my mind, utterly brilliant.  Now lets contrast that with conservative Australia.

OMG…shit would get real for our public broadcaster if they made and distributed something like this.  I can just imagine the hoo-haa that Murdoch media (the city papers, SKY, city radio stations (AM) etc.) would drum up.

That said SBS Australia is known for its risque programming so maybe there is some hope there after all.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jun/21/clamping-koala-how-a-new-sex-guide-prompted-complaints-and-delight

Anyway, I am just glad someone is talking about sexuality as that’s the only way we move forward as a species.

Enjoy
AES

Ah Fleshy…I love thee!

Hi all,

I rarely if ever review sex toy’s on this little blog but I going to make an exception and update an expand upon this review which I posted many, many moons ago.

In short, this toy is worth its weight in gold in my humble opinion.

My Fleshlight masturbation sleeve or what I call “my fleshy” for short is an absolute little ripper of a sexual pleasure toy.

Why you may ask?

Well, now that I have worked out what that amazing end cap does (slow-learner tis, this is my 3rd Fleshlight over a number of years), I cant get enough of the bloody thing.

The end cap controls the vaccum pressure created as you slide in and out of it or vice-versa. By turning the end cap you get more/less vaccum pressure and thus more/less suction.

And ooh mama…that’s the kicker!

Previously to this I had worked out the cleanliness & preservation of the toy which in my view is done best by running warm water through the sleeve and then leaving it to hang to drip-dry and then once dry dusting it with corn-flour and reassembling ready the next use.

Fleshlight also sell a Triclosan antibacterial wash and I need to buy some to run over and through mine to get rid of any nasties but I feel that I will only use it occasionally probably prefering sunlight and an air dry to a manufactured product all the time.

All that said, I definitely go through stages of using it. Currently I am in lust with it again. The soft feel and adjustable vaccum are absolute winners and one other hot tip…you will need to audition various lubricants (water-based only) to find what works for you and best mimics a females natural lubricant.

Above is a little pictorial history of the last 15 years or so of owning them, so its fair to say they last a while if looked after. 
Notice the lack of end caps on the first and second unit.  As I mentioned above, this was a beginners mistake that I am glad I worked out eventually.

No.2 is getting a new case soon so it will have an end cap and thus I will be in solo pleasure heaven for some time to come.

Anyway that is about it from me for this little foray into the uber-personal side of male sexuality. 

As an ending statement.  If one guy and/or his partner get something from this post and it enables them to find a little pleasure, continuity and connection without intercourse in this life then this post was worth it.

And here’s also to one day removing the massive stigma’s around our sexuality that sustains the macho views of men and feeds behaviours that are still a long way off being majority good to and for women across the board. 

Look no further than our nations capital over the first six months of this year as just one example of the change in the space of male sexuality that we desperately need IMHO! 

Men & Women are equals at birth but its what happens after that drives us apart and this needs to, and slowly is,  becoming a relic of the past thankfully.


Cheers

AES

Longview

  

Thomas Brand on Polyamory (via Medium).

Hi all,

I had moved away from poly for a few reasons but then tonight I read this article by Thomas and I think I need to revisit The Ethical Slut soon for a refresh.

Back in the day I used to think polyamory was the next big thing but that time came & went (in Australia specifically) with the default in marriage staying the course as the default long-term relationship option.


Polyamory isnt dead yet though and I really hope it hangs around because I feel its time will come again as both genders methodically find solutions to problems that have and still constrain gender balance.

I see traditional marriage as big supporter of gender inequality but that said I am sure there are many great examples of marriage that show it in a better light.

Anyway, this article will provide you with a small window into the world of the polyamourous via one of the many emotional mines on the minefield of love that can stop a polyamourous relationship in its tracks. 

Compersion; is defined in the Urban Dictionary as:
A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship“.
Thomas discusses compersion and in doing so will take you in a journey about commitment, patience and empathy for your significant other.

https://link.medium.com/JWuaE93pOgb

Compersion


Anyhoo, I hope you click through (see my p.s. below first) and until next time peeps, keep living & loving like there’s no tomorrow.

Here’s a bit of QOTSA to get you in a loving mood.

I wanna make it wit chu

AES

p.s. Medium is a subscriber based site so you are going to have to cough up some cash to read the main link.

I reckon its completely worth it as Medium is chock full of brainy goodness, but that’s your call.

Chanel Contos to meet Scott Morrison to discuss sex consent education reforms (via The Guardian Australia).

Yes, yes, yes, yes…more…more…
give me more…

not sex, but education!

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/may/21/chanel-contos-to-meet-scott-morrison-to-discuss-sex-consent-education-reforms

Hi all,

This young woman is bloody amazing IMHO.  She has the potential to push a stalled agenda along in a way it hasnt been for years.

That said, I doubt that we will see anything from the PM, because he’s clearly all about short termism and holding onto the prime ministership.

And politics and ideology unfortunately gets in the way of so many great ideas and movements but you know, it never totally snuffs out these things.

They live on until the time is right and those changes can proceed without the largely pathetic barriers and excuses that are made by selfish people who hold power and cant or won’t get their collective heads around KAIZEN for our society.

Anyway, FWIW, I look forward to hearing and seeing Chanel continue to talk about this subject widely as that opens doors and brings people into the room who have wanted to be part of this conversation who will add their voices to the fray and keep the conversation moving.

Its all very exciting because I have been raving about sex education for the past 8 or more years.

We might actually get somewhere!

#cross-fingers!

#getinvolved

AES

I have used this track before but I just love it, so here’s another run…

Tears For Fears, Change

Keep it down! Why sales of silent sex toys are surging.

Hi all,

I came across this sex positive article in The Guardian and had to share it.

I love that this subject is being written about in tbe mainstream media.

The prudes can all go and jump off a jetty for all I care.
I want to see more of this.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/feb/22/keep-it-down-why-sales-of-silent-sex-toys-are-surging

Many thanks to the journo who researched and penned it and the subby for supporting stories like this.

I hope you click on through…

Regards
AES

https://youtu.be/kcPc18SG6uA

My porn life: what my years as a sex writer taught me about my desires.

Hi all,

This looks like another great read on the subject of subjects.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/feb/16/want-me-tracy-clark-flory-excerpt-sex-writer-reporter

I am off to find this book now and I hope after you have had a look at the link above, you might also.

Education is key to us finding real gender balance.

Regards
AES