Category: Sexual Baggage

Meghan Madness re: Kinks, via Medium.

Hi all,

There lots in the Medium link below to gorge your mind on.

A bit of sexy, a bit of psychology, a bit of looking inwards & outwards to understand where you are on the great escalator of your sexual life.

As a self proclaimed lover of all things kink, I dig any and all discussion on this subject. I really love the psychology side of sexuality and how the mind combines with your stage of sexual growth and understanding.

We are all different and at different stages in our lives, sexual development and awareness and if you are interested in walking this road it pays to understand as many sides of your sexy shape before you decide to open up to a prospective partner in kinky crime.

Are you a sexy Pentagon, a simple but efficient circle, a crazy deep octagon or something else entirely?

Anyhoo, Meghan nails it to the mast below (way better than me) so I highly recommend you click through and if you aren’t satiated after this, read some more of her stuff… it’s good 😛

https://link.medium.com/IAP15wA7hpb

Lastly, as I always say, Medium is a subscription service and a bloody good one at that. Please grab yourself a subscription if it’s right for you at this time and blow your mind on any and all subjects on the site.

Cheers

AES

Red Hot Chili Peppers – Sir Psycho Sexy

‘I suffered for my rage’: Sofia Helin on Lust, The Bridge and the collapse of Sweden’s #MeToo movement (via Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

This looks interesting.

It has a great show motto for a start ” Sex is the highway to health” but whilst this is a strong sentence well worth exploring further in its own right, the show – Lust – looks really interesting itself.

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2022/apr/12/i-suffered-for-my-rage-sofia-helin-on-lust-the-bridge-and-the-collapse-of-swedens-metoo-movement

Please have a look if it’s something that interests you. I will definitely be having a look for it and hope that it shows on SBS here in Australia because I have interest in another bloody streaming subscription.

Anyway, that’s me for this short & sweet post.

Adios

AES

Only half of US adolescents receive adequate sex education — and Black and Hispanic youth are especially left behind.

Hi all,

I have spoken at length about sex education on this blog with the aim of trying to assist ongoing education in this important area of human development in my small way.

I was though saddened to read this just now as reported in Psypost and written by Beth Ellwood;

https://www.psypost.org/2022/03/only-half-of-us-adolescents-receive-adequate-sex-education-and-black-and-hispanic-youth-are-especially-left-behind-62664

This study says that sex education was better 25 years ago. Wow!

So why is that? Is this the pendulum of conservatism showing its hand or religion or both. Or is this something else altogether?

I am confused and genuinely interested in reading the article again and properly this time to see what has influenced this ordinary result.

If you read this article and have an opinion on it, please add a comment as I would like to understand this research and it subsequent results better.

BTW – here’s a link to the Reddit feed I found this article in…

https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/t4z38e/only_half_of_us_adolescents_receive_adequate_sex

Cheers

AES

Lacey & Flynn Have Sex via The Guardian.

Hi all,

This is a bit of interesting…

I highly recommend that you read the article below as there’s a lot to process in it. Coco Khan has done a fantastic job in listening to this couple and doing them justice in the article.

Essentially, Lacey & Flynn are putting themselves out there via podcast to talk about all things on sex and their relationship. Apparently they actually have sex during the podcast!

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/15/panting-moaning-and-pussy-gazing-the-couple-who-podcast-their-elevated-sex-sessions?

I have read the article a couple of times and whilst I applaud them both in taking on a massive subject such as sex, it’s probably not a pod I could see myself listening to.

Why? Well I think the older I get the less interested I am in sex with another human. It’s hard work especially navigating the emotional side that one must confront if you want more than a one night stand.

I may though check out an episode or two from Flynn where he is talking about male sexuality. That is something I definitely relate to at present

All that said though, this pod is recommended if you have the energy and are willing to put yourself out there (in a more difficult time than usual).

My thanks to Coco for this article. It’s a good read and I hope you get something out of it.

Cheers

AES

Bjork – Big Time Sensuality

Libido – An explainer (thank you Dipsea) :-)

Hi all,

Libido…the main attraction at all of our respective showgrounds. The proverbial rollercoaster!

Not a day goes by (as a male) where I not up and/or down in regards to this bodily function, especially now as I get older. One upon a time I could spank the monkey four times a day, sleep for 8 hours and repeat without an issue.

Now, it’s like once a day at best. And frankly I am completely fine with that. Because for once in my life I can occasionally break that life-cycle and save up that precious orgasm so it’s volcanic when I reach climax. Damn…that be some good times!

Dipsea – being the amazing sex positive company that it is, have a good explainer on libido which you will find at the link. It’s worth a few minutes of your time if this is something that interests you. I found the article an enjoyable read.

The main takeaway for me is that libido is something that we should never ever stress about. There’s enough in this life already to stress about, and then some.

And I really liked the self-care advice regards masturbation. I hold strong opinions on masturbation as a tool that can really keep you on a level and it’s great for a good nights sleep also.

Anyhoo, that’s me for this short and sweet post.

Have a great Christmas or however you celebrate the season and I will see you back here for another year of stepping ever so gently through the minefield that is human sexuality.

Merry Christmas

AES

Eartha Kitt – Santa Baby

The secret to great sex? It’s not what you think …(via Guardian Australia).

Update: this post has gone a bit crazy so it’s high time I mentioned the author.

Linked article by: Alexandra Jones.

Hi all,

A good’n below tis…(translates as there is a good post below).

Found this on The Guardian Australia and after reading it, I felt there was some good stuff in the article that needed to be further shared.

At 50 years of age, I completely get the need for quality sex. 34 years in training surely is enough time to dot your i’s and cross your t’s on this important human activity.

I enjoyed lots about this article, especially the mind and how important it is, being present and also opening your mind to all the possibilities that intimacy offers.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/26/he-secret-to-great-sex-erotic-intimacy-study?

Anyway, as always, if human sexuality is your bag (baby – Mr Austin Powers), then this article above will be a moth to a flame moment for you, and I will be the other moth circling the light totally engaged with it also.

And I promise to say hi as we dance around it, wings outstretched, totally enamoured by its beauty.

Enjoy people,

AES (for N’s Oma)

Donna Summer – Love To Love You Baby

The Women Bringing Sex Ed to the Arab World – New York Times via @inkl

Just wow!

Oh…hi all.

I just came across this and it has knocked me out temporarily. This post is going to end here, but please read the NYT article at the link.

https://inkl.com/a/PLqjXWiGwRb

Ok, it’s a day or so past when I posted this and I am still a little shocked, but happy that education about sex is finally trickling down.

I am also extremely 🙏 for living in a secular country.

Women here are still fighting an uphill battle in many of these areas but things are changing for the better by the day.

Mad props to Mona Eltahawy for what she is doing also.

Check her out on Patreon if you can and please support her work. She is sticking it to the man and I, as a man, love this.

All in all, my heart goes out to any and all women who are oppressed and who can’t get access to simple sexual education. I do hope things keep changing in your countries and communities.

AES

Affirmative Consent…more support needed.

Hi all,

The article at the link below is a potent read and I implore you to venture down this rabbit hole if you, like me are tired of the multitudes of stories in which men (largely) are left wanting in this area of human sexuality.

I have been carrying on like a pork-chop for years on this blog about the need for robust, comprehensive and mostly better sexual education in this country and its clear in reading this article that – we ain’t there yet.

But on the positive tip, things are getting better. 2021, as Saxon mentions has been a year in which change has trickled down and left those of us who care deeply about this and many other issues around gender feeling like the winds of change are rising.

https://www.thesaturdaypaper.com.au/share/12928/cIJGuT9

But they can only rise to a level where genuine change can happen (legislation) when enough people want change and are prepared to give up some of their time to vote and chaperone that change past and through the many obstacles in its path.

A federal election is coming (and I will post more on that soon) and so I ask;

Will you stand still and allow the standard you accept to move on by or will you step up and say something?

I hope it’s the latter. For everyone’s sake.

Regards

AES

Dan Savage: ‘When politicians leave sex alone, I’ll leave politics alone’ (via The Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

Dan Savage ROCKS!

He has single-handedly shown us how to build robust walls to protect those of us grasping at any one time with the many issues that make up human sexuality, against the conservative tide that seeks to erode sexuality to a lights off under the covers 5-minute wham-bam, thankyou ma’am exercise.

I used to read his column back in the day and always looked up to him as someone who wasn’t afraid to speak a truth that was being hushed daily whack-a-mole style by way too many blinkered fools.

I loved reading this article and I hope you do too.

He is a fantastic human being and I thank him for his contribution to humanity and sexuality.

Kind regards

AES

A Good Read – The New World Of Sex That Awaits Us (via The Atlantic).

A Better Way to Write About Sex – The Atlantic via @inkl https://inkl.com/a/wEpzjXHqYrz

Hi all,

I really enjoyed this read above (thanks Inkl). It’s tops of a big last four weeks in human sexuality here in Victoria, Australia.

We have had the bill passed to legalise sexwork (thanks to Fiona Patten, her team & those who supported the bill) which is massive in itself for all and sundry involved in this industry and then a couple of days ago, the Victorian parliament approved laws around sexual consent (stealthing etc.) which is also a huge step forward in gender equity.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/nov/12/affirmative-consent-laws-to-be-introduced-in-victoria-in-incredible-step-forward

Then about 20 minutes ago the article linked at the top of this post popped up in my Inkl.com feed.

I mean who knew that the inventor of Kelloggs conflakes was also negative about self-pleasure & masturbation?

If we had met, he & I would have surely had words, because masturbation is the bomb IMHO and is something I plan to do until my dying breath.

Anyhoo, have a read of the article if you are interested in venturing down this rabbit hole and maybe you will take an offshoot tunnel in the article and look into one of the books referenced in the article?

All in all though, I am stoked that we are making ground on the subject of sex slowly and surely whilst also leaving room for everyone to find their happy place in the many cul de sac’s on La Rue De Sex.

Enjoy people,

AES

Mazzy Star – Fade Into You

Happening review – sex and abortion on the new frontline in 60s France (via Guardian Australia).

Hi all,

This looks good.

And Happening is especially relevant at the moment with Texas and its new laws regarding abortion.

In Australia, the backwater that it can be at times, we also have a conservative government who can’t or won’t get its collective (pardon my use of that word. I understand it doesn’t apply to conservatives) head around women and their place as equals in society.

Check out the review above and maybe it appeals, or maybe not?

Either way, it highlights an issue we very much need to confront and work through in both genders.

Adios
AES

Ani DiFranco – Tiptoe

I walked 6km’s in the Hawaiian sun to buy this album “Living In Clip” which I had heard first on 3RRR Melbourne – Off The Record (Saturday morning’s at 9am).

It was so worth it.

OnlyFans to ban adult material…WTF!

Update 25th Aug – decision to remove pornographic material has been suspended…

Hi all,

You may have missed this or maybe not. I didnt.

Firstly, I will admit to never venturing onto Only Fans but I am clear in understanding it to be a step forward for humanity in finally acknowledging our rampant sexuality and hitting online free porn with a sharp uppercut in the process.

As Tim says below, it enabled sex-workers and other individuals to monetise their art safely and also as I have said above, hitting back at free-porn (which is an indidious evil run by a handful of individuals that exists only to exploit people and is I would contend not a step in the right direction for sexual freedom and individual liberties).

If you’ve never heard of OnlyFans at all, it’s a site where people share images and video, which fans can access after paying a certain amount per month. It’s become popular with sex workers and online performers because it allows them to build a safe relationship with fans without having to just upload their work to the public internet. Of course, it’s popular with fans of that kind of content too because they can support and communicate with performers directly.
It’s $US5 billion so far, $US2 billion in the last year, of which 80 per cent went to creators. But porn makes people nervous (and exposes thorny issues, with OnlyFans saying last month it deactivated 15 accounts for posting images of underage people); big investors and banks don’t want a bar of it. Like Twitch with its clothing policies or Tumblr’s anti-queer pivot in 2018, the internet loves to support sexual freedom and expression, unless it gets in the way of perpetual growth.
via The Age, Melbourne

This link from the Guardian provides an update on what happened with Only Fans and why they have taken the action they have.

And here’s another article to get you up to speed;

https://www.inputmag.com/tech/onlyfans-is-banning-porn-the-very-thing-that-made-it-big

Tumblr went the same way in cutting out sexual expression when they decided to go all draconian on creators and what they were saying through their posts.

I had a Tumblr account and I was happy to pay a price to check out sexy posts from people that had a particular sexual bent that I found interesting.

Just imagine the potential here people. If done right with the right regulation and settings in place, sites like Tumblr and Only Fans and others that have come and gone over the years might have even got as far one day to coax sexuality like beastiality and other weird shit that I personally would rather see regulated and available to those who want to pay for that stuff rather than on the dark web with us the tax-payer continually chucking cash in the law enforcement bucket to chase these evil people down and prosecute their arses only to rinse and repeat next month.

I mean, c’mon…really? Surely one day we can fucking well acknowledge who we are as humans and all the fucking weird shit that we think about and make it available for those that are interested such that people of all ages, races and cultures stop being exploited by a few rich arseholes across the world.

Is that really too much to ask?

Anyway, sorry for the rant. There’s a bit of information for you which I think clearly outlines where we are in regards to sexuality (still) and where we need to be if we are to see real change in humanity and the way we generally perceive sex.

Regards
AES

Those days…in the brothel(s).

Hi all,

Just like so many men since time immortal, years ago I found my way into many houses of ill-repute (why they are called that?, I need to know now.).

I did this to enjoy some brief intimacy with those wonderful women who offer their bodies up to the male sex-drive in return for money.

I generally got around to visiting these places for a half an hour, three-quarters of an hour and even booked once for an hour and a half.

They were all amazing battle-hardened women although some just had dollar signs in their eyes which in hindsight thinking about this time in my life, I completely understand.

A couple I would have definitely gone back for, one in particular, a young woman in Richmond whom I had a half an hour booking with was wonderful. I contend that we got as close to making love as a sex-worker and her client possibly could.

Another young lady from a brothel in Seaford was entirely the opposite and from the first minute of entering the room after I had showered and rinsed my mouth started with the rules according to her.

I remember putting my clothes back on and cutting that session short as clearly her head couldnt get into the zone you need to be in to do this line of work.

I am updating this original post in August 2021 as written 10 years ago.

It needed it and whilst I have updated it around the edges previously, it was nothing to be proud of and I am glad I chose to give it a full makeover.

I was in a bad place back then and I completely understand why Incels have become a thing.

Its largely to do with education and the way we treat women and whilst things are changing, much more needs to be done.

Anyway, I will finish this post by saying that if you are in a bad place drop me a line.

I made it through the minefield via the longest route and I understand how men feel about sexuality & rejection.

Reach out if you need to.

We go on…

AES

Mr Mister – Bare My Soul

Ghislaine Maxwell began to share ‘little black book’ with Epstein as early as the 1980s (via The Guardian Aust).

Hi again all,

Men.

You don’t have to be Einstein to understand that the male gender has been responsible for so much pain and suffering towards women since time immortal.

Just try this.  As an exercise in the comprehension of this statement take the next 10-15 seconds and think about the amount of times you have heard about men behaving badly over the past 5-10 years.

And I dont mean to be awful, but if you didn’t get to five as a minimum, you haven’t been paying attention.

In getting down from my soap-box now  I will admit that I kinda understand if you couldnt recall many as I largely switch off now also. 

There’s just too many.

This list above was last updated 18 months ago…and as far as I can see is only US men!!

Then there’s the now departed Mr Epstein & Ms Maxwell.  That’s a whole other can of worms!

And why Ghislane shared the book…we may never know?

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/jun/27/ghislaine-maxwell-began-to-share-little-black-book-with-epstein-as-early-as-the-1980s?

And what drives this behaviour???

I genuinely dont know but I have said for a long time that testosterone, the male sex hormone clearly needs to be understood better…by everyone. 

And…

#STAT

I think its fair to say that most men including yours truly only barely understands it’s power.

One thought (read potential solution) I have entertained for a while would be for each gender to wear patches containing the opposite sex’s hormone for a short time at the appropriate time during their development (if indeed there is an appropriate time as each gender develops?).

I am no scientist but just maybe this would help the level of understanding  and in doing so assist us to reduce the incidence of harassment, associated sex crimes and general bastardry we impart on women as we men grow up.

Clearly though, we need to keep moving forward on this massive problem that potentially ends in a similar way to that reported in my last post.

And that, dear readers is a bloody sad &  sorry situation.

WE CAN AND MUST DO BETTER.

AES

Thomas Brand on Polyamory (via Medium).

Hi all,

I had moved away from poly for a few reasons but then tonight I read this article by Thomas and I think I need to revisit The Ethical Slut soon for a refresh.

Back in the day I used to think polyamory was the next big thing but that time came & went (in Australia specifically) with the default in marriage staying the course as the default long-term relationship option.


Polyamory isnt dead yet though and I really hope it hangs around because I feel its time will come again as both genders methodically find solutions to problems that have and still constrain gender balance.

I see traditional marriage as big supporter of gender inequality but that said I am sure there are many great examples of marriage that show it in a better light.

Anyway, this article will provide you with a small window into the world of the polyamourous via one of the many emotional mines on the minefield of love that can stop a polyamourous relationship in its tracks. 

Compersion; is defined in the Urban Dictionary as:
“A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship“.
Thomas discusses compersion and in doing so will take you in a journey about commitment, patience and empathy for your significant other.

https://link.medium.com/JWuaE93pOgb

Compersion


Anyhoo, I hope you click through (see my p.s. below first) and until next time peeps, keep living & loving like there’s no tomorrow.

Here’s a bit of QOTSA to get you in a loving mood.

I wanna make it wit chu

AES

p.s. Medium is a subscriber based site so you are going to have to cough up some cash to read the main link.

I reckon its completely worth it as Medium is chock full of brainy goodness, but that’s your call.