Happening review – sex and abortion on the new frontline in 60s France (via Guardian Australia).

Hi all,

This looks good.

And Happening is especially relevant at the moment with Texas and its new laws regarding abortion.

In Australia, the backwater that it can be at times, we also have a conservative government who can’t or won’t get its collective (pardon my use of that word. I understand it doesn’t apply to conservatives) head around women and their place as equals in society.

Check out the review above and maybe it appeals, or maybe not?

Either way, it highlights an issue we very much need to confront and work through in both genders.

Adios
AES

Ani DiFranco – Tiptoe

I walked 6km’s in the Hawaiian sun to buy this album “Living In Clip” which I had heard first on 3RRR Melbourne – Off The Record (Saturday morning’s at 9am).

It was so worth it.

OnlyFans to ban adult material…WTF!

Update 25th Aug – decision to remove pornographic material has been suspended…

Hi all,

You may have missed this or maybe not. I didnt.

Firstly, I will admit to never venturing onto Only Fans but I am clear in understanding it to be a step forward for humanity in finally acknowledging our rampant sexuality and hitting online free porn with a sharp uppercut in the process.

As Tim says below, it enabled sex-workers and other individuals to monetise their art safely and also as I have said above, hitting back at free-porn (which is an indidious evil run by a handful of individuals that exists only to exploit people and is I would contend not a step in the right direction for sexual freedom and individual liberties).

If you’ve never heard of OnlyFans at all, it’s a site where people share images and video, which fans can access after paying a certain amount per month. It’s become popular with sex workers and online performers because it allows them to build a safe relationship with fans without having to just upload their work to the public internet. Of course, it’s popular with fans of that kind of content too because they can support and communicate with performers directly.
It’s $US5 billion so far, $US2 billion in the last year, of which 80 per cent went to creators. But porn makes people nervous (and exposes thorny issues, with OnlyFans saying last month it deactivated 15 accounts for posting images of underage people); big investors and banks don’t want a bar of it. Like Twitch with its clothing policies or Tumblr’s anti-queer pivot in 2018, the internet loves to support sexual freedom and expression, unless it gets in the way of perpetual growth.
via The Age, Melbourne

This link from the Guardian provides an update on what happened with Only Fans and why they have taken the action they have.

And here’s another article to get you up to speed;

https://www.inputmag.com/tech/onlyfans-is-banning-porn-the-very-thing-that-made-it-big

Tumblr went the same way in cutting out sexual expression when they decided to go all draconian on creators and what they were saying through their posts.

I had a Tumblr account and I was happy to pay a price to check out sexy posts from people that had a particular sexual bent that I found interesting.

Just imagine the potential here people. If done right with the right regulation and settings in place, sites like Tumblr and Only Fans and others that have come and gone over the years might have even got as far one day to coax sexuality like beastiality and other weird shit that I personally would rather see regulated and available to those who want to pay for that stuff rather than on the dark web with us the tax-payer continually chucking cash in the law enforcement bucket to chase these evil people down and prosecute their arses only to rinse and repeat next month.

I mean, c’mon…really? Surely one day we can fucking well acknowledge who we are as humans and all the fucking weird shit that we think about and make it available for those that are interested such that people of all ages, races and cultures stop being exploited by a few rich arseholes across the world.

Is that really too much to ask?

Anyway, sorry for the rant. There’s a bit of information for you which I think clearly outlines where we are in regards to sexuality (still) and where we need to be if we are to see real change in humanity and the way we generally perceive sex.

Regards
AES

Those days…in the brothel(s).

Hi all,

Just like so many men since time immortal, years ago I found my way into many houses of ill-repute (why they are called that?, I need to know now.).

I did this to enjoy some brief intimacy with those wonderful women who offer their bodies up to the male sex-drive in return for money.

I generally got around to visiting these places for a half an hour, three-quarters of an hour and even booked once for an hour and a half.

They were all amazing battle-hardened women although some just had dollar signs in their eyes which in hindsight thinking about this time in my life, I completely understand.

A couple I would have definitely gone back for, one in particular, a young woman in Richmond whom I had a half an hour booking with was wonderful. I contend that we got as close to making love as a sex-worker and her client possibly could.

Another young lady from a brothel in Seaford was entirely the opposite and from the first minute of entering the room after I had showered and rinsed my mouth started with the rules according to her.

I remember putting my clothes back on and cutting that session short as clearly her head couldnt get into the zone you need to be in to do this line of work.

I am updating this original post in August 2021 as written 10 years ago.

It needed it and whilst I have updated it around the edges previously, it was nothing to be proud of and I am glad I chose to give it a full makeover.

I was in a bad place back then and I completely understand why Incels have become a thing.

Its largely to do with education and the way we treat women and whilst things are changing, much more needs to be done.

Anyway, I will finish this post by saying that if you are in a bad place drop me a line.

I made it through the minefield via the longest route and I understand how men feel about sexuality & rejection.

Reach out if you need to.

We go on…

AES

Mr Mister – Bare My Soul

Ghislaine Maxwell began to share ‘little black book’ with Epstein as early as the 1980s (via The Guardian Aust).

Hi again all,

Men.

You don’t have to be Einstein to understand that the male gender has been responsible for so much pain and suffering towards women since time immortal.

Just try this.  As an exercise in the comprehension of this statement take the next 10-15 seconds and think about the amount of times you have heard about men behaving badly over the past 5-10 years.

And I dont mean to be awful, but if you didn’t get to five as a minimum, you haven’t been paying attention.

In getting down from my soap-box now  I will admit that I kinda understand if you couldnt recall many as I largely switch off now also. 

There’s just too many.

This list above was last updated 18 months ago…and as far as I can see is only US men!!

Then there’s the now departed Mr Epstein & Ms Maxwell.  That’s a whole other can of worms!

And why Ghislane shared the book…we may never know?

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/jun/27/ghislaine-maxwell-began-to-share-little-black-book-with-epstein-as-early-as-the-1980s?

And what drives this behaviour???

I genuinely dont know but I have said for a long time that testosterone, the male sex hormone clearly needs to be understood better…by everyone. 

And…

#STAT

I think its fair to say that most men including yours truly only barely understands it’s power.

One thought (read potential solution) I have entertained for a while would be for each gender to wear patches containing the opposite sex’s hormone for a short time at the appropriate time during their development (if indeed there is an appropriate time as each gender develops?).

I am no scientist but just maybe this would help the level of understanding  and in doing so assist us to reduce the incidence of harassment, associated sex crimes and general bastardry we impart on women as we men grow up.

Clearly though, we need to keep moving forward on this massive problem that potentially ends in a similar way to that reported in my last post.

And that, dear readers is a bloody sad &  sorry situation.

WE CAN AND MUST DO BETTER.

AES

Thomas Brand on Polyamory (via Medium).

Hi all,

I had moved away from poly for a few reasons but then tonight I read this article by Thomas and I think I need to revisit The Ethical Slut soon for a refresh.

Back in the day I used to think polyamory was the next big thing but that time came & went (in Australia specifically) with the default in marriage staying the course as the default long-term relationship option.


Polyamory isnt dead yet though and I really hope it hangs around because I feel its time will come again as both genders methodically find solutions to problems that have and still constrain gender balance.

I see traditional marriage as big supporter of gender inequality but that said I am sure there are many great examples of marriage that show it in a better light.

Anyway, this article will provide you with a small window into the world of the polyamourous via one of the many emotional mines on the minefield of love that can stop a polyamourous relationship in its tracks. 

Compersion; is defined in the Urban Dictionary as:
A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship“.
Thomas discusses compersion and in doing so will take you in a journey about commitment, patience and empathy for your significant other.

https://link.medium.com/JWuaE93pOgb

Compersion


Anyhoo, I hope you click through (see my p.s. below first) and until next time peeps, keep living & loving like there’s no tomorrow.

Here’s a bit of QOTSA to get you in a loving mood.

I wanna make it wit chu

AES

p.s. Medium is a subscriber based site so you are going to have to cough up some cash to read the main link.

I reckon its completely worth it as Medium is chock full of brainy goodness, but that’s your call.

Chanel Contos to meet Scott Morrison to discuss sex consent education reforms (via The Guardian Australia).

Yes, yes, yes, yes…more…more…
give me more…

not sex, but education!

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/may/21/chanel-contos-to-meet-scott-morrison-to-discuss-sex-consent-education-reforms

Hi all,

This young woman is bloody amazing IMHO.  She has the potential to push a stalled agenda along in a way it hasnt been for years.

That said, I doubt that we will see anything from the PM, because he’s clearly all about short termism and holding onto the prime ministership.

And politics and ideology unfortunately gets in the way of so many great ideas and movements but you know, it never totally snuffs out these things.

They live on until the time is right and those changes can proceed without the largely pathetic barriers and excuses that are made by selfish people who hold power and cant or won’t get their collective heads around KAIZEN for our society.

Anyway, FWIW, I look forward to hearing and seeing Chanel continue to talk about this subject widely as that opens doors and brings people into the room who have wanted to be part of this conversation who will add their voices to the fray and keep the conversation moving.

Its all very exciting because I have been raving about sex education for the past 8 or more years.

We might actually get somewhere!

#cross-fingers!

#getinvolved

AES

I have used this track before but I just love it, so here’s another run…

Tears For Fears, Change

My porn life: what my years as a sex writer taught me about my desires.

Hi all,

This looks like another great read on the subject of subjects.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/feb/16/want-me-tracy-clark-flory-excerpt-sex-writer-reporter

I am off to find this book now and I hope after you have had a look at the link above, you might also.

Education is key to us finding real gender balance.

Regards
AES

Why are increasing numbers of women choosing to be single?

Hi all,

Here’s a article that I found in Guardian Australia this morning as written by the author from her upcoming book:

Self Contained: Scenes From A Single Life by Emma John.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jan/17/why-are-increasing-numbers-of-women-choosing-to-be-single

I really enjoyed this article.  I am not a single woman but have danced around many of the subjects discussed in this article over a number of years because I feel that all the points presented are very important for both genders across the board.

The message that I have tried to communicate is that marriage shouldn’t be the only option in our lives.  I strongly believe in this sentence.

And this article and I gather Emma’s book goes deeper to make this point albeit as a woman who understands the scope of the debate much better than I can and all the factors involved.

Please have a read of the article if this is something you think about on occasion.  Its really good food for thought.

Its also a subject poignant at the moment as the current Australian conservative government and their friends in supporting organisations seek to try on a proposal for people to stay in relationships for two years after trouble makes itself known.

This in my opinion is a bridge too far and it will be interesting if they seek to give it oxygen in this term of government.

Anyway, that’s me for this one.
Catch ya,

AES

Cyndi L – Speaking Truth

How I stopped feeling threatened by porn by Michelle Brown via Medium.

Hi all,

This is a good read IMHO.

Michelle opens up about pornography and how it has affected her.

And I can see how Women can feel like this, living and existing in a highly sexualized world where Women have to compete against a patriarchal regime that seeks to control them and their sexuality at every drop of the hat.

Thankfully, times are a changin and those trickle changes will continue to bring balance to the gender spectrum as the years go by.

https://link.medium.com/j3tKnwWjYcb

Please have a read of this link above (and support writers like Michelle) if you are interested in my primer noting that Medium is a paid subscription site.

I have barely touched on this massive subject with this post but maybe the subject interests you and you will dig deeper because to do so will take you on a great journey.

A journey that I hope makes our world a better place for all one day in the future.

“Democracy is and will always be, a work in progress”.

Cheers
AES

Deeper Underground…

I confronted my daughter’s boyfriend – but I was really confronting myself, via The Guardian Aust.

Hi all,


I loved this read and maybe you will find something in it also?

In my opinion, we men have a long way to travel to find gender balance and restore and reset the world that we have collectively steered towards catastrophe.

This read alludes to that journey and why it is so important to get on that track as soon as each of us can.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/oct/19/i-confronted-my-daughters-boyfriend-but-i-was-really-confronting-myself?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Please have a read if you have a few minutes.

Merry Christmas all,

AES

“Why Erotica Will Free Your Mind”

Hi all,

Am a bit off my game of late.  COVID-19 has it well and truly engaged it in self-preservation mode.

Came across this tonight though and dug it.
It’s a well written piece on the beauty that is the written word in the erotic form.

I am all for expanding ones mind when it comes to our sexual selves.
And I clearly am a fan of all the wonderful women on Medium who are filling this space with their beautiful writing on all manner of subjects inside the space that is our human sexuality.

So please, click the link and have a read.  If you dig this as I did please come back and comment.

Note: Medium is a paid site and I have my own subscription to read these stories.

“Why Erotica Will Free Your Mind” by Amber Cezanne https://link.medium.com/EdAYFIdR98

Cheers
AES

“What Makes a Woman Great in Bed?”

Hi all,

This article popped up on my Medium feed today and I am glad it did.

“What Makes a Woman Great in Bed?” by Kim Petersen https://link.medium.com/81FFRttR17

Kim has written a great article here.

What did I like about it you may be asking?

I liked that she spoke truths about women which are some that when added with other concerns can over floweth thine relationship cup.

And dont get me wrong I clearly get that women are only half of the equation.  Men certainly contribute their own special blend of shite that also adds fuel to the fires that breakout in relationships, some of which can be extinguished, and other’s not.


Please have a look noting that Medium is a paid subscription.

Thus you will need to contribute to read articles like this and many others that I have found brilliant.

Cheers
AES

“As A Sex Therapist, I Can Tell You You’re Asking The Wrong Question About Sexual Harassment”

And about bloody time…

Hi all BTW,

For the longest time I have thought that more needs to be done in this area of human sexuality.

I mean, surely you have seen the parade of men and a few women over the past decade whom have had their lives and careers ruined after being found GUILTY of sexual harassment?

And if you joined the dots at that time, did you talk about this epidemic with anyone?

I am guessing, probs not? 

It’s a male thing mostly and men mostly don’t talk about their sexuality to other men.
And women don’t talk to men etc. etc.

And around we go again.  Line em up!

What Stephen offers here is the solution.
And it’s pretty simple and if we could collectively pull our heads out of our arses, we might be able to pull together pretty quickly and solve this one so men & women could put this issue that refuses to die behind them.

But we won’t.  Not for a long while anyway for a number of reasons I won’t bore you with, suffice to say there is a solution and it starts when you read this post at the link.

Medium is a paid site so you can’t read this without joining but as I have mentioned a number of times, it will be worth a few bucks just to read genius like this.


“As A Sex Therapist, I Can Tell You You’re Asking The Wrong Question About Sexual Harassment” by Steven Ing https://link.medium.com/jjw07gXNy6

AES

https://youtu.be/79cG_F1GxfI

“What It Means When a Woman Says She Has a High Sex Drive”

Hi all,

Still absolutely loving Medium.  There are so many wonderfully written articles on there, I feel bombarded with choice.

As for my love of the complex construct that is human sexuality, there’s a few writers on Medium whose writing I absolutely love and which gravitates with me usually after just a couple of sentences.

This article is another one.  Yael writes about female sexual energy and how it is similar but also very different to male sexual energy.

I have experienced this many times over the years and frankly still can’t manage to find consensus with it.

“What It Means When a Woman Says She Has a High Sex Drive” by Yael Wolfe https://link.medium.com/kQA3NQ2qZ5

But “It is, what it is” and so whilst this gender difference confounds and frustrates me I am slowly getting to a point where I no longer care and as such prefer to gravitate as a mandate to some quiet time with the Fleshlight and good lube.

Anyway, please consider clicking the link and maybe subscribing to this excellent site chock full of anything and everything you have ever wanted to know more about.

I will be a Medium subscriber for sometime to come I feel.

Cheers
AES

Australian paedophiles pay as little as $15 for online abuse of children in Philippines

Hi all,

I have mentioned paedophilia in this blog once or twice over the years.

I do find it sickening, but I will forever rail against those who knee-jerk to defence mechanisms and speak only of punishments such as jail etc. blah, blah, blah.

IMHO we need (as a majority of society) to understand WHY this behaviour exists and IF there is anything that can be done proactively to identify and reduce the percentage of those who prey on the most vulnerable in our society.

Knowledge of mental health is slowly getting better and I long for the day where this subject can be discussed rationally within the spectrum of mental health with answers found to the questions that remain unanswered and which in 2020 have people reacting to this word like those whose reactions and commentary had “witches” burnt at the stake many years ago.

“Australian paedophiles pay as little as $15 for online abuse of children in Philippines”.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/dec/09/australian-paedophiles-pay-15-dollars-online-abuse-filipino-children

Here’s to one day finding the answers we need to make this long disgusting part of our sexuality a relic.

If you have any thoughts on this subject that can further the debate out of the quagmire it exists in, bring it.

AES