Hi again all,
You don’t have to be Einstein to understand that the male gender has been responsible for so much pain and suffering towards women since time immortal.
Just try this. As an exercise in the comprehension of this statement take the next 10-15 seconds and think about the amount of times you have heard about men behaving badly over the past 5-10 years.
And I dont mean to be awful, but if you didn’t get to five as a minimum, you haven’t been paying attention.
In getting down from my soap-box now I will admit that I kinda understand if you couldnt recall many as I largely switch off now also.
There’s just too many.
This list above was last updated 18 months ago…and as far as I can see is only US men!!
Then there’s the now departed Mr Epstein & Ms Maxwell. That’s a whole other can of worms!
And why Ghislane shared the book…we may never know?
And what drives this behaviour???
I genuinely dont know but I have said for a long time that testosterone, the male sex hormone clearly needs to be understood better…by everyone.
I think its fair to say that most men including yours truly only barely understands it’s power.
One thought (read potential solution) I have entertained for a while would be for each gender to wear patches containing the opposite sex’s hormone for a short time at the appropriate time during their development (if indeed there is an appropriate time as each gender develops?).
I am no scientist but just maybe this would help the level of understanding and in doing so assist us to reduce the incidence of harassment, associated sex crimes and general bastardry we impart on women as we men grow up.
Clearly though, we need to keep moving forward on this massive problem that potentially ends in a similar way to that reported in my last post.
And that, dear readers is a bloody sad & sorry situation.
WE CAN AND MUST DO BETTER.
I had moved away from poly for a few reasons but then tonight I read this article by Thomas and I think I need to revisit The Ethical Slut soon for a refresh.
Back in the day I used to think polyamory was the next big thing but that time came & went (in Australia specifically) with the default in marriage staying the course as the default long-term relationship option.
Polyamory isnt dead yet though and I really hope it hangs around because I feel its time will come again as both genders methodically find solutions to problems that have and still constrain gender balance.
I see traditional marriage as big supporter of gender inequality but that said I am sure there are many great examples of marriage that show it in a better light.
Anyway, this article will provide you with a small window into the world of the polyamourous via one of the many emotional mines on the minefield of love that can stop a polyamourous relationship in its tracks.
Compersion; is defined in the Urban Dictionary as:
“A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship
Thomas discusses compersion and in doing so will take you in a journey about commitment, patience and empathy for your significant other.
Anyhoo, I hope you click through (see my p.s. below first) and until next time peeps, keep living & loving like there’s no tomorrow.
Here’s a bit of QOTSA to get you in a loving mood.I wanna make it wit chu
p.s. Medium is a subscriber based site so you are going to have to cough up some cash to read the main link.
I reckon its completely worth it as Medium is chock full of brainy goodness, but that’s your call.
Yes, yes, yes, yes…more…more…
give me more…
not sex, but education!
This young woman is bloody amazing IMHO. She has the potential to push a stalled agenda along in a way it hasnt been for years.
That said, I doubt that we will see anything from the PM, because he’s clearly all about short termism and holding onto the prime ministership.
And politics and ideology unfortunately gets in the way of so many great ideas and movements but you know, it never totally snuffs out these things.
They live on until the time is right and those changes can proceed without the largely pathetic barriers and excuses that are made by selfish people who hold power and cant or won’t get their collective heads around KAIZEN for our society.
Anyway, FWIW, I look forward to hearing and seeing Chanel continue to talk about this subject widely as that opens doors and brings people into the room who have wanted to be part of this conversation who will add their voices to the fray and keep the conversation moving.
Its all very exciting because I have been raving about sex education for the past 8 or more years.
We might actually get somewhere!
I have used this track before but I just love it, so here’s another run…
Tears For Fears, Change
This looks like another great read on the subject of subjects.
I am off to find this book now and I hope after you have had a look at the link above, you might also.
Education is key to us finding real gender balance.
Here’s a article that I found in Guardian Australia this morning as written by the author from her upcoming book:
Self Contained: Scenes From A Single Life by Emma John.
I really enjoyed this article. I am not a single woman but have danced around many of the subjects discussed in this article over a number of years because I feel that all the points presented are very important for both genders across the board.
The message that I have tried to communicate is that marriage shouldn’t be the only option in our lives. I strongly believe in this sentence.
And this article and I gather Emma’s book goes deeper to make this point albeit as a woman who understands the scope of the debate much better than I can and all the factors involved.
Please have a read of the article if this is something you think about on occasion. Its really good food for thought.
Its also a subject poignant at the moment as the current Australian conservative government and their friends in supporting organisations seek to try on a proposal for people to stay in relationships for two years after trouble makes itself known.
This in my opinion is a bridge too far and it will be interesting if they seek to give it oxygen in this term of government.
Anyway, that’s me for this one.
Cyndi L – Speaking Truth
This is a good read IMHO.
Michelle opens up about pornography and how it has affected her.
And I can see how Women can feel like this, living and existing in a highly sexualized world where Women have to compete against a patriarchal regime that seeks to control them and their sexuality at every drop of the hat.
Thankfully, times are a changin and those trickle changes will continue to bring balance to the gender spectrum as the years go by.
Please have a read of this link above (and support writers like Michelle) if you are interested in my primer noting that Medium is a paid subscription site.
I have barely touched on this massive subject with this post but maybe the subject interests you and you will dig deeper because to do so will take you on a great journey.
A journey that I hope makes our world a better place for all one day in the future.
“Democracy is and will always be, a work in progress”.
I loved this read and maybe you will find something in it also?
In my opinion, we men have a long way to travel to find gender balance and restore and reset the world that we have collectively steered towards catastrophe.
This read alludes to that journey and why it is so important to get on that track as soon as each of us can.
Please have a read if you have a few minutes.
Merry Christmas all,
Am a bit off my game of late. COVID-19 has it well and truly engaged it in self-preservation mode.
Came across this tonight though and dug it.
It’s a well written piece on the beauty that is the written word in the erotic form.
I am all for expanding ones mind when it comes to our sexual selves.
And I clearly am a fan of all the wonderful women on Medium who are filling this space with their beautiful writing on all manner of subjects inside the space that is our human sexuality.
So please, click the link and have a read. If you dig this as I did please come back and comment.
Note: Medium is a paid site and I have my own subscription to read these stories.
“Why Erotica Will Free Your Mind” by Amber Cezanne https://link.medium.com/EdAYFIdR98
This article popped up on my Medium feed today and I am glad it did.
“What Makes a Woman Great in Bed?” by Kim Petersen https://link.medium.com/81FFRttR17
Kim has written a great article here.
What did I like about it you may be asking?
I liked that she spoke truths about women which are some that when added with other concerns can over floweth thine relationship cup.
And dont get me wrong I clearly get that women are only half of the equation. Men certainly contribute their own special blend of shite that also adds fuel to the fires that breakout in relationships, some of which can be extinguished, and other’s not.
Please have a look noting that Medium is a paid subscription.
Thus you will need to contribute to read articles like this and many others that I have found brilliant.
And about bloody time…
Hi all BTW,
For the longest time I have thought that more needs to be done in this area of human sexuality.
I mean, surely you have seen the parade of men and a few women over the past decade whom have had their lives and careers ruined after being found GUILTY of sexual harassment?
And if you joined the dots at that time, did you talk about this epidemic with anyone?
I am guessing, probs not?
It’s a male thing mostly and men mostly don’t talk about their sexuality to other men.
And women don’t talk to men etc. etc.
And around we go again. Line em up!
What Stephen offers here is the solution.
And it’s pretty simple and if we could collectively pull our heads out of our arses, we might be able to pull together pretty quickly and solve this one so men & women could put this issue that refuses to die behind them.
But we won’t. Not for a long while anyway for a number of reasons I won’t bore you with, suffice to say there is a solution and it starts when you read this post at the link.
Medium is a paid site so you can’t read this without joining but as I have mentioned a number of times, it will be worth a few bucks just to read genius like this.
“As A Sex Therapist, I Can Tell You You’re Asking The Wrong Question About Sexual Harassment” by Steven Ing https://link.medium.com/jjw07gXNy6
Still absolutely loving Medium. There are so many wonderfully written articles on there, I feel bombarded with choice.
As for my love of the complex construct that is human sexuality, there’s a few writers on Medium whose writing I absolutely love and which gravitates with me usually after just a couple of sentences.
This article is another one. Yael writes about female sexual energy and how it is similar but also very different to male sexual energy.
I have experienced this many times over the years and frankly still can’t manage to find consensus with it.
“What It Means When a Woman Says She Has a High Sex Drive” by Yael Wolfe https://link.medium.com/kQA3NQ2qZ5
But “It is, what it is” and so whilst this gender difference confounds and frustrates me I am slowly getting to a point where I no longer care and as such prefer to gravitate as a mandate to some quiet time with the Fleshlight and good lube.
Anyway, please consider clicking the link and maybe subscribing to this excellent site chock full of anything and everything you have ever wanted to know more about.
I will be a Medium subscriber for sometime to come I feel.
I have mentioned paedophilia in this blog once or twice over the years.
I do find it sickening, but I will forever rail against those who knee-jerk to defence mechanisms and speak only of punishments such as jail etc. blah, blah, blah.
IMHO we need (as a majority of society) to understand WHY this behaviour exists and IF there is anything that can be done proactively to identify and reduce the percentage of those who prey on the most vulnerable in our society.
Knowledge of mental health is slowly getting better and I long for the day where this subject can be discussed rationally within the spectrum of mental health with answers found to the questions that remain unanswered and which in 2020 have people reacting to this word like those whose reactions and commentary had “witches” burnt at the stake many years ago.
“Australian paedophiles pay as little as $15 for online abuse of children in Philippines”.
Here’s to one day finding the answers we need to make this long disgusting part of our sexuality a relic.
If you have any thoughts on this subject that can further the debate out of the quagmire it exists in, bring it.
This is an updated post. The book at the link below looked very interesting on initially finding it on The Guardian Australia one morning before work a while ago. I have just grabbed it now on Kindle after re-reading the blurb for the book because it is a book I really need to read.
I am always keen to learn more when it comes to human sexuality. I am a late starter having had pretty close to zero sexual education as a young man largely fumbling my way through a sexual life to now at the start of my later years.
And I am still hungry to know more and understand this subject better inclusive of all the many trapdoors and tunnels that make up this side of us as human beings.
It’s clear before reading the book and after living a life as a privelledged male, women get short shrift when it comes to sexuality. We really need to do better as men and I have a feeling that reading this book is only going to reinforce those thoughts.
I hope it is a page-turner because knowledge is no burden to carry and we can all be better when it comes to the way we treat our partners and lovers.
Once I am into it I will post a review or add to this blog.
BOOK – What I learned talking to 120 women about their sex lives and desires
This one has bugger all to do with polyamory or relationships for that matter, but when I read below that the sauna inside Berlin’s Liquidrom is allegedly sans clothing it made me think about this country (Australia) and the issues I think we have with gender.
I have said it before and I will say it again. We Australians are a majority conservative bunch when the topic strays anywhere near gender, sexuality etc. etc.
Maybe that’s the old English influence still hanging on, which I know will die the death it needs to one day (frankly, that day can’t come to soon) to leave us in a place possibly where we can choose to go to a bloody sauna with no clobber on and not get weird about it or stalk(y)…(not a word I know, but it fit the mood of my little rant).
To sum up my thoughts, I think the simple act of nakedness connects well to what I see as an overarching conservative shyness and is the crux of a narrative that joins so many dots in the Australian context.
Some of which go onto harm and unfortunately kill women and frankly I am really bloody sick of men and actions which lead to outcomes such as this.
Just watch the news for a few nights and do your own straw-poll of the gender that generally speaking, brings the violence.
Maybe I need to build an Australian Liquidrom!
Keep loving y’all.
Original CNET article below (Thanks Katie).
For mine, I strongly agree with this article header.
The patriarchy needs a big old rethink IMHO.
The male politicians as just one example (see recent NSW parliament legislation) talk about protecting life, but look around you. Poverty is still a big problem in society (and possibly getting worse) so where are the “honourable” members who allegedly care about human life now?
Really though and getting back on track, abortion should only be a minor player (and option of last resort) in the grand scheme of things.
If men actually were responsible with their sperm maybe abortion might not be the flash point it currently is?
Shit has to change, and I believe it will in time.
In the interim though, those who have archaic viewpoints will continue on there merry way fighting what they feel is the good fight minus some actual truths that matter.
Truth was always the first casualty.