My MISOGYNIST Australia.

Hi all,

You may or may not have seen the many article’s relating broadly to the subject of Australian misogyny in your local media of late.

But in short, its clear that we have a big problem here in Australia.

The patriarchy running the show as abley assisted by women has generally been the norm for a long time in this wide brown land and that needs to change. STAT.

In my strong opinion as backed up by a life lived reinforced through lots of observing, reading and listening Australian men have and continue to treat women poorly with the proof being the death of one woman every week in this country.

Just STOP and think on that for a moment.

We are a first world country with much to be proud of but every week of the year sees one of our women die at the hand of a male.

This figure doesnt take into account those that are hospitalised or those that seek emergency accommodation from violent relationships etc.

That’s a whole other statisic.

We have a problem and based on what I have seen and heard as late of this afternoon specifically from those who claim to lead this nation, I dont feel like there is any real momentum being rounded up by our lawmakers/regulators that will investigate and then implement the solutions that clearly are necessary to eliminate this issue once and for all.

Its going to make for interesting times politically in this country going forward so watch this space.

Because lots of women are sitting somewhere right now between fed up and destroying the joint and that isnt a good place mentally for a large and growing cohort of the populace.

So to recap. This issue isn’t going away nor can it be spun away by skeezy politicians or slipped under that very large piece of carpet that the current government has used to death previously.

It’s reform we need.

There should be no further obfuscation only action.

Regards

AES

Julia Gillard speech.

People Have The Power…Yes, we do.

My porn life: what my years as a sex writer taught me about my desires.

Hi all,

This looks like another great read on the subject of subjects.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/feb/16/want-me-tracy-clark-flory-excerpt-sex-writer-reporter

I am off to find this book now and I hope after you have had a look at the link above, you might also.

Education is key to us finding real gender balance.

Regards
AES

Why are increasing numbers of women choosing to be single?

Hi all,

Here’s a article that I found in Guardian Australia this morning as written by the author from her upcoming book:

Self Contained: Scenes From A Single Life by Emma John.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jan/17/why-are-increasing-numbers-of-women-choosing-to-be-single

I really enjoyed this article.  I am not a single woman but have danced around many of the subjects discussed in this article over a number of years because I feel that all the points presented are very important for both genders across the board.

The message that I have tried to communicate is that marriage shouldn’t be the only option in our lives.  I strongly believe in this sentence.

And this article and I gather Emma’s book goes deeper to make this point albeit as a woman who understands the scope of the debate much better than I can and all the factors involved.

Please have a read of the article if this is something you think about on occasion.  Its really good food for thought.

Its also a subject poignant at the moment as the current Australian conservative government and their friends in supporting organisations seek to try on a proposal for people to stay in relationships for two years after trouble makes itself known.

This in my opinion is a bridge too far and it will be interesting if they seek to give it oxygen in this term of government.

Anyway, that’s me for this one.
Catch ya,

AES

Cyndi L – Speaking Truth

How I stopped feeling threatened by porn by Michelle Brown via Medium.

Hi all,

This is a good read IMHO.

Michelle opens up about pornography and how it has affected her.

And I can see how Women can feel like this, living and existing in a highly sexualized world where Women have to compete against a patriarchal regime that seeks to control them and their sexuality at every drop of the hat.

Thankfully, times are a changin and those trickle changes will continue to bring balance to the gender spectrum as the years go by.

https://link.medium.com/j3tKnwWjYcb

Please have a read of this link above (and support writers like Michelle) if you are interested in my primer noting that Medium is a paid subscription site.

I have barely touched on this massive subject with this post but maybe the subject interests you and you will dig deeper because to do so will take you on a great journey.

A journey that I hope makes our world a better place for all one day in the future.

“Democracy is and will always be, a work in progress”.

Cheers
AES

Deeper Underground…

I confronted my daughter’s boyfriend – but I was really confronting myself, via The Guardian Aust.

Hi all,


I loved this read and maybe you will find something in it also?

In my opinion, we men have a long way to travel to find gender balance and restore and reset the world that we have collectively steered towards catastrophe.

This read alludes to that journey and why it is so important to get on that track as soon as each of us can.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/oct/19/i-confronted-my-daughters-boyfriend-but-i-was-really-confronting-myself?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Please have a read if you have a few minutes.

Merry Christmas all,

AES

“Why Erotica Will Free Your Mind”

Hi all,

Am a bit off my game of late.  COVID-19 has it well and truly engaged it in self-preservation mode.

Came across this tonight though and dug it.
It’s a well written piece on the beauty that is the written word in the erotic form.

I am all for expanding ones mind when it comes to our sexual selves.
And I clearly am a fan of all the wonderful women on Medium who are filling this space with their beautiful writing on all manner of subjects inside the space that is our human sexuality.

So please, click the link and have a read.  If you dig this as I did please come back and comment.

Note: Medium is a paid site and I have my own subscription to read these stories.

“Why Erotica Will Free Your Mind” by Amber Cezanne https://link.medium.com/EdAYFIdR98

Cheers
AES

“What Makes a Woman Great in Bed?”

Hi all,

This article popped up on my Medium feed today and I am glad it did.

“What Makes a Woman Great in Bed?” by Kim Petersen https://link.medium.com/81FFRttR17

Kim has written a great article here.

What did I like about it you may be asking?

I liked that she spoke truths about women which are some that when added with other concerns can over floweth thine relationship cup.

And dont get me wrong I clearly get that women are only half of the equation.  Men certainly contribute their own special blend of shite that also adds fuel to the fires that breakout in relationships, some of which can be extinguished, and other’s not.


Please have a look noting that Medium is a paid subscription.

Thus you will need to contribute to read articles like this and many others that I have found brilliant.

Cheers
AES

“As A Sex Therapist, I Can Tell You You’re Asking The Wrong Question About Sexual Harassment”

And about bloody time…

Hi all BTW,

For the longest time I have thought that more needs to be done in this area of human sexuality.

I mean, surely you have seen the parade of men and a few women over the past decade whom have had their lives and careers ruined after being found GUILTY of sexual harassment?

And if you joined the dots at that time, did you talk about this epidemic with anyone?

I am guessing, probs not? 

It’s a male thing mostly and men mostly don’t talk about their sexuality to other men.
And women don’t talk to men etc. etc.

And around we go again.  Line em up!

What Stephen offers here is the solution.
And it’s pretty simple and if we could collectively pull our heads out of our arses, we might be able to pull together pretty quickly and solve this one so men & women could put this issue that refuses to die behind them.

But we won’t.  Not for a long while anyway for a number of reasons I won’t bore you with, suffice to say there is a solution and it starts when you read this post at the link.

Medium is a paid site so you can’t read this without joining but as I have mentioned a number of times, it will be worth a few bucks just to read genius like this.


“As A Sex Therapist, I Can Tell You You’re Asking The Wrong Question About Sexual Harassment” by Steven Ing https://link.medium.com/jjw07gXNy6

AES

https://youtu.be/79cG_F1GxfI

“What It Means When a Woman Says She Has a High Sex Drive”

Hi all,

Still absolutely loving Medium.  There are so many wonderfully written articles on there, I feel bombarded with choice.

As for my love of the complex construct that is human sexuality, there’s a few writers on Medium whose writing I absolutely love and which gravitates with me usually after just a couple of sentences.

This article is another one.  Yael writes about female sexual energy and how it is similar but also very different to male sexual energy.

I have experienced this many times over the years and frankly still can’t manage to find consensus with it.

“What It Means When a Woman Says She Has a High Sex Drive” by Yael Wolfe https://link.medium.com/kQA3NQ2qZ5

But “It is, what it is” and so whilst this gender difference confounds and frustrates me I am slowly getting to a point where I no longer care and as such prefer to gravitate as a mandate to some quiet time with the Fleshlight and good lube.

Anyway, please consider clicking the link and maybe subscribing to this excellent site chock full of anything and everything you have ever wanted to know more about.

I will be a Medium subscriber for sometime to come I feel.

Cheers
AES

Australian paedophiles pay as little as $15 for online abuse of children in Philippines

Hi all,

I have mentioned paedophilia in this blog once or twice over the years.

I do find it sickening, but I will forever rail against those who knee-jerk to defence mechanisms and speak only of punishments such as jail etc. blah, blah, blah.

IMHO we need (as a majority of society) to understand WHY this behaviour exists and IF there is anything that can be done proactively to identify and reduce the percentage of those who prey on the most vulnerable in our society.

Knowledge of mental health is slowly getting better and I long for the day where this subject can be discussed rationally within the spectrum of mental health with answers found to the questions that remain unanswered and which in 2020 have people reacting to this word like those whose reactions and commentary had “witches” burnt at the stake many years ago.

“Australian paedophiles pay as little as $15 for online abuse of children in Philippines”.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/dec/09/australian-paedophiles-pay-15-dollars-online-abuse-filipino-children

Here’s to one day finding the answers we need to make this long disgusting part of our sexuality a relic.

If you have any thoughts on this subject that can further the debate out of the quagmire it exists in, bring it.

AES

What I learned talking to 120 women about their sex lives and desires.

Hi all,

This book looks very interesting.

Having seen and experienced this from partners over the years I am really happy that finally the puzzle pieces are falling into place.

I will pick the book up at some stage and post a full review for you.

AES

What I learned talking to 120 women about their sex lives and desires

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/feb/05/katherine-rowland-the-pleasure-gap-women-sex-lives-desire

This futuristic techno spa is a sci-fi movie come to life – CNET

Hi folks,

This one has bugger all to do with polyamory or relationships for that matter, but when I read below that the sauna inside Berlin’s Liquidrom is allegedly sans clothing it made me think about this country (Australia) and the issues I think we have with gender.

I have said it before and I will say it again. We Australians are a majority conservative bunch when the topic strays anywhere near gender, sexuality etc. etc.

Maybe that’s the old English influence still hanging on, which I know will die the death it needs to one day (frankly, that day can’t come to soon) to leave us in a place possibly where we can choose to go to a bloody sauna with no clobber on and not get weird about it or stalk(y)…(not a word I know, but it fit the mood of my little rant).

To sum up my thoughts, I think the simple act of nakedness connects well to what I see as an overarching conservative shyness and is the crux of a narrative that joins so many dots in the Australian context.

Some of which go onto harm and unfortunately kill women and frankly I am really bloody sick of men and actions which lead to outcomes such as this.

Just watch the news for a few nights and do your own straw-poll of the gender that generally speaking, brings the violence.

Maybe I need to build an Australian Liquidrom!

Keep loving y’all.

AES

Original CNET article below (Thanks Katie).

https://www.cnet.com/news/this-futuristic-techno-spa-is-a-sci-fi-movie-come-to-life/

A new poll shows what really interests ‘pro-lifers’: controlling women

Check dis..

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/aug/22/a-new-poll-shows-what-really-interests-pro-lifers-controlling-women?

For mine, I strongly agree with this article header.

The patriarchy needs a big old rethink IMHO.

The male politicians as just one example (see recent NSW parliament legislation) talk about protecting life, but look around you. Poverty is still a big problem in society (and possibly getting worse) so where are the “honourable” members who allegedly care about human life now?

Really though and getting back on track, abortion should only be a minor player (and option of last resort) in the grand scheme of things.

If men actually were responsible with their sperm maybe abortion might not be the flash point it currently is?

Shit has to change, and I believe it will in time.

In the interim though, those who have archaic viewpoints will continue on there merry way fighting what they feel is the good fight minus some actual truths that matter.

Truth was always the first casualty.

AES

My life in sex: the woman with an STI

My life in sex: the woman with an STI

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/aug/23/my-life-in-sex-the-woman-with-an-sti?

I know how this woman feels. I have struggled with the societal stigma that exists for those with this condition for the past 20 odd years.

We can and must do better as a community on sexuality and the only way that happens is via education.

Unfortunately, in this country as in many others there are those who are not interested in human life despite what they will say and do to protect it at all costs (see my next post for and interesting segway on that subject).

Change though, is inevitable which means sense will prevail in time despite the efforts of those with power who refuse to open their minds and walk in the shoes of the many versus the few.

Better days are coming. It just takes a while to get there is all.

Love will prevail.

AES

On Genital Herpes…

Updated July 2019.

HSV 2 or Herpes Simplex Virus is some sexual baggage that I carry deep in my nervous system.

I SHOULD have written about this earlier (originally published Nov 2011). But I am ashamed of being a carrier and as life has shown me, so are many more adults.

So how did I get the virus? All of the below played their part in the outcome.

I had pretty much NO sexual education and that most certainly was a factor in the end-game.

The time in which the virus came to be a part of me was also “pre-internets” so knowledge was pretty thin on the ground.

Condoms were available but I never used them. Why you may ask?

Between overall sexual stigma and very little to no instruction on how and why one should use a “franger” (why oh why has this word left our vocabulary!), blokes like me as a rite of passage just loaded the 6-shooter, spun the barrel and played Russian roulette in the early 90’s as the norm.

Flashback. My first sexual experience which was not in Australia wasn’t the greatest advertisment for them either (it broke part way through the act).

Really though when I think back to those years now I am amazed that I got through them with just HSV2. I didn’t have a clue about sex.

I also knew very little about females and less about reproduction other than the bare basics. I am actually very happy to have been a largely quiet and shy man because if I had been the opposite it could have been a very different outcome altogether.

Anyway, many years have passed now since that nurse stuck the swab to test for HSV2 way to far into the eye of my penis and made me howl in pain.

Honestly though, I look back on the last couple of decades and frankly I wouldn’t change a thing inclusive of HSV2.

It has turned out to be a great indicator of my overall health as it usually appears when my immune system is on Struggle St.

To summarise, Herpes isn’t a game changer, it just requires some thought and honesty into how you might manage and continue a sex life.

AES