Hmmm…Loss of Desire. 75% of Women and 25% of Men!

Is returning a loss of desire really as easy as committing to and or choosing it….?

My experience tells me that this is horseshit and frankly, I am not sold on this premise.

I certainly agree with the speaker in this TEDTalk that there still are many, many problematic societal issues that exist without complete solutions within the sphere of human sexuality but I am glad that a good deal of them have been largely acknowledged (with more to come I hope) in the mainstream recently (#metoo, Royal Commission into Domestic Violence etc.).

Maybe we are finally getting somewhere.

I hope that in a hundred years time, things are somewhat better for women.  Certainly and at the very least in the ways males contribute to all the many problems that exist as the societal level when it comes to relationships, intimacy, sexuality etc.

As for mothers bringing up better girls who want them to stand on their own two feet as strong women who can make a choice as to the relationship style that best suits them, I don’t know if this is happening at a similar rate of change?

Certainly if my recent experience is a metric of any worth, there still are many young women who still very much gravitate to and believe in the standard narrative of boy meets girl etc.

I find this a lemming like behaviour and it concerns me.

For mine I think there is more sense in sharing and finding the right person for the right need or want to meet you in compromise rather than locking yourself into an outdated and still overly religious relationship model like marriage.

For me, that is Polyamory.

This talk bought home for me yet again why I think we still have it “arse about” in regards to human relationships.

AES

What is Polyamory? This is what it’s really like to have multiple partners. Vogue Australia

A Vogue article!

Not a publication that I would read but nevertheless a well-balanced article.

https://www.vogue.com.au/culture/lifestyle/what-is-polyamory-this-is-what-its-really-like-to-have-multiple-partners/news-story/848f3c987c589a9ec656462d9836a66b

This is why I am drawn to polyamory.

It’s more human.

Keep loving people. We certainly need it at this dark time in history.

AES

Just when you start to doubt…

Along comes something like the below and voila, all yours fears get pushed back into their respective dank little mind-holes!

Thanks to Perth Polyamory for posting this gem.

http://jezebel.com/mom-i-have-two-boyfriends-how-i-discovered-i-was-poly-1690634624?utm_campaign=socialflow_jezebel_facebook&utm_source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

This woman has walked the road I want to walk with women, but finding that other woman is quite the difficult proposition.

Seriously, I hope you read and love this article. Just like when I started reading The Ethical Slut, it just made sense.

Until then fine women and men,

Love it until you cant love anymore.

AES

I Think We Have It Arse About.

Human relationships. Never a dull moment.

In my opinion the still (and unfortunate) belief amongst many that Mr or Mrs Right will be everything you need is completely off the mark.

Don’t get me wrong there are possibly a small amount of overall relationships where this is the case, but I would contend they are very much in the minority (inclusive of divorces, affairs ans other numbers that a rarely mentioned in the fairytale).

I don’t have data to backup this statement but with a little application I think you could come up with a semi-reliable number.

I think that we were largely fed a furphy or three growing up in regards to human relationships but oddly we seem to still seek out that holy grail as the default.

Don’t get me wrong…def’s a big fan of living with a person whom you choose for companionship, life- building needs and to share multiple loves with (hobbies etc.).

But the idea that this person can be everything your little beating heart wants, needs and desires is in my opinion, is utter crap!

Change is gonna come one day I hope via a more equal society.

To be continued….

AES

Until then, as The Beatles sung;

Cheers,

The Poly Times – 2nd Edition

Evening all,

Attended a lovely Meetup earlier on with the lovely Amanda.
We are officially a physical group of 3 now but virtually are 10.

So things are starting to build and that truly is a beautiful thing.

On Amanda ‘ s suggestion have decided to advertise on Fetlife and also via Facebook via a poly page she knows of.

Other ideas that came forward today were a picnic at some stage, a meal somewhere and potentially other meets so people can get to know each other.

As I have stated to Suzie and also Amanda, definitely welcome members posting on this blog when inspiration strikes so we can learn and grow from your experiences.

Anyway that’s this little update done with for now.

Get your loving of many on peeps,

Shane

Why form a Polyamory group anyway?

I have asked myself a couple of times this but I figure it’s high time alternatives to the current version of marriage I have seen start to find a place of their own to exist.

I wrote previously on marriage and my respect for the word but that is where it ends.

Yes, it works well for some but in all honesty I would love to see the truth on those marriages and why they work because I think you would find a similar type of arrangement one might see in a great poly relationships (excellent communication, trust etc.)

There is nothing worse in my opinion than not having the courage to speak up for your own needs and instead sneak around behind your beloved’s back.

That is the primary reason why poly may never really take hold because I feel that honesty is hard work for a lot of people and just like democracy and teamwork are works in progress that never really reach a conclusion and therein lies the beauty – the journey.

That doesn’t mean for one second that one should just accept the status quo and get on with being a sheep. Quite the contrary really. At least that is what I think.

It takes courage to believe in something like polyamory and I do because in my opinion it reeks of sense.

So if you want to expand your mind and educate yourself out of the flock you can’t do much worse than pick up the book that changed it all for me.

Then maybe you will drop by our little group and who knows what will happen then…but that’s half the fun!

Until that time, please,
Love many,

AES

My thoughts on Marriage.

I am a fan of the word and the institution because as I have come to learn, marriage has quite the long and interesting history.

What I am not a fan of is the version perpetuated by some in this society inclusive of religion, politics, industry and little old Mr & Mrs Consumer.

There are many factors that is make a great marriage and I contend that not enough is being done to keep marriage great.

For mine it’s like looking at a block of Swiss cheese. Look closer and you might see right through it.

One only has to look at facts on the ground today in Australia (40+% divorce rate on average, a high domestic violence rate, single parenthood as a societal norm, prostitution still alive and kicking, affairs abounding etc.).

Both sexes have to change but there is a lot of resistance with both blaming each other for what they consider “the reasons” for divorce and other issues that affect marital unions.

I still think marriage will remain the default relationship option in society but for that to happen so many things need to change in my opinion.

I firmly believe that until such time that a communication in relationships course becomes the defacto standard taught as part of a country wide sex-ed/relationships course for year 10, 11 and 12’s we will continue to see a trail of human detritus flowing freely from the Good Ship Marriage.

But to finish on a high note one thing that is coming despite ongoing resistance from conservatives in ever smaller numbers is same-sex marriage.

Legislated as a totally legal and an equal of its heterosexual counterpart.

This is a very interesting topic that I have barely touched on so do come down to one of our meets if you would like to chat.

I’m attending a Meetup with Peninsula Polyamory and Open Relationships Meetup http://meetu.ps/2CmmTj

Until then, love many,

AES

A quote from The Ethical Slut

Hi all,

I love this book and I have loved it for a long time.  Here’s a taste for you…

“To us, a slut is a person of any gender who celebrates sexuality according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.”
“Sluts may choose to have solo sex or to get cozy with the Fifth Fleet. They may be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or radical activists or peaceful suburbanites.”
“As proud sluts, we believe that sex and sexual love are fundamental forces for good activities with the potential to strengthen intimate bonds, enhance lives, open spiritual awareness, even change the world. Furthermore, we believe that every consensual sexual relationship has these potentials and that any erotic pathway consciously chosen and mindfully followed, can be a positive, creative force in the lives of individuals and their communities.”

“Sluts share their sexuality the way philanthropists share their money: because they have a lot of it to share, because it makes them happy to share it, because sharing makes the world a better place.”

“Sluts often find that the more love and sex they give away, the more they have: a loaves-and-fishes miracle in which greed and generosity go hand in hand to provide more for everybody. Imagine living in sexual abundance.”

exerpt from (2nd edition):
The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton, Janet. W. Hardy.

3rd Edition now available.

Go buy this book.  In regards to our intimate relationships, it will open your mind up like a can-opener!

Regards

AES