Why are increasing numbers of women choosing to be single?

Hi all,

Here’s a article that I found in Guardian Australia this morning as written by the author from her upcoming book:

Self Contained: Scenes From A Single Life by Emma John.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jan/17/why-are-increasing-numbers-of-women-choosing-to-be-single

I really enjoyed this article.  I am not a single woman but have danced around many of the subjects discussed in this article over a number of years because I feel that all the points presented are very important for both genders across the board.

The message that I have tried to communicate is that marriage shouldn’t be the only option in our lives.  I strongly believe in this sentence.

And this article and I gather Emma’s book goes deeper to make this point albeit as a woman who understands the scope of the debate much better than I can and all the factors involved.

Please have a read of the article if this is something you think about on occasion.  Its really good food for thought.

Its also a subject poignant at the moment as the current Australian conservative government and their friends in supporting organisations seek to try on a proposal for people to stay in relationships for two years after trouble makes itself known.

This in my opinion is a bridge too far and it will be interesting if they seek to give it oxygen in this term of government.

Anyway, that’s me for this one.
Catch ya,

AES

Cyndi L – Speaking Truth

“We Are NOT Monogamous by Nature” via Medium.

Hi all,

True dat.

At the link below Claire Divino has written a piece a lot of you may well identify with and relate to as I did.

I have been trying to put paragraphs together like this for years now but in the finest traditions of writing, the words only come when they want to.

“We Are NOT Monogamous by Nature” by Claire Divino https://link.medium.com/4PKz5s2oz9

From my point of view, this is a great lead into a post that I have written which I will drop IDC.

But if reading this whets your whistle, please head over to Medium and soak a while in this and so many other posts of beauty written by people who, like I do, care about the big picture that encompasses our humanity.

Remember though, Medium is a paid site so you will need a sub if you want to indulge regularly like I do.

Regards
AES

p.s. Just one fix at a time though please!

Sex has as much meaning as words: how normal people handle intimacy.

Hi all,

One of many favourite writers is Zoe Williams from The Guardian UK.

She writes an honest article at the link and I frankly love most of what hits the page under her name.

Here’s another.  A book I haven’t read which I need to read followed by some potentially watchable tv.

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/may/06/politics-of-sex-in-normal-people-bbc-sally-rooney?

Anyway, short & sweet tonight.

Adios

AES

https://youtu.be/evN6DIGPIJM

Polygamy is about to be decriminalised in Utah. Is it good news for women?

Hi all,

About the closest I have been to polygamy is that TV show “Big Love” from the US that SBS Australia showed many years ago.


I can’t remember watching more than one series but I think I watched enough at the time to get a feel for how their particular household worked.
The adult male had three wives under one roof if I remember correctly and via a roster system, spent time with each of them equally.

I remember thinking that there was some good attributes to this sort of arrangement but I also saw enough drawbacks to make me, in an overall sense think this type of relationship wasn’t ideal.

BTW, my opinion is still completely subjective as I haven’t lived like this nor know anyone who has.

Anyway, getting back to the title of this post (via Guardian Australia) after having read the article, with a few more years under the belt and very much taking into account my poor understanding of this relationship style I think it is good thing that polygamy is finally being decriminalised.

Please read of the article (it’s a really good read) at the link as it has three different perspectives that are all interesting in their own way.

My take from reading the above is that I think decriminalisation has to be tried on for size and given time to breathe and settle so it can be fully assessed as to it’s suitability within society.

Secretly I hope it thrives as I am strongly of the opinion that one size doesn’t fit all and that’s why I look forward to watching this space with interest to see what happens next.

AES

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/mar/05/polygamy-is-about-to-be-decriminalised-in-utah-is-it-good-news-for-women

‘There’s zero evidence that it’s worse for children’: parenting in a polyamorous relationship

Hi all,

This is a really good read and it has frankly made my night.

I have seen polyamory rise up from nothing in Australia and then seemingly slowly die off as various organisations folded.

This article proves the fear mongers wrong and I hope we see a resurgence one day.

What I love most about this article is that which attracted me to polyamory all those years ago when I first turned the pages of The Ethical Slut.

Honesty.

But that is me and both you and I dear reader are very different people. We all have different views and different life experiences that make us the people we are.

‘There’s zero evidence that it’s worse for children’: parenting in a polyamorous relationship

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/feb/01/zero-evidence-worse-for-children-parenting-in-polyamorous-relationship

Anyway, have a read and if a comment crosses your mind, you know the drill.

AES

“Polyamory Improves My Relationship With My Husband”

Hi all,

Check out this ENM/Poly read on Medium if you have some time.

Elle writes well. Looking forward to more of her thoughts on human relationships & sexuality as her inspiration strikes.

Yet another great case for moving fowards as a species with relationship options vice the tired old default of marriage in plain view with add-ons in the shadows.

Enjoy

AES

“Polyamory Improves My Relationship With My Husband” by Elle Beau https://link.medium.com/dJP6GlBX02

The family in 2050: artificial wombs, robot carers and the rise of single fathers by choice

Hi all,

First of all. Happy New Year to one and all wherever you are reading my little blog from.

An interesting read below if you have time.

What I get from it is that yes, we have an ageing population and yes, we are solving a few problems but many still exist and others are being created by the day.

All in all, it makes for an interesting 2020’s, 30’s and beyond for humanity.

For mine if I had my time over again I would escape to the country dependent only on a small sustainable town, build a sustainable house on a small block that had bushfire protection built in via an underground tank(s), grow my own food via permaculture, and aim to settle down with a crew of like-minded folk who shared a love of community especially when it comes to children.

It wouldn’t be easy but it would be rewarding in the long term.

AES

The family in 2050: artificial wombs, robot carers and the rise of single fathers by choice

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/dec/31/family-2050-artificial-wombs-robot-carers-single-fathers

I’m 41. My boyfriend doesn’t want kids, so I’ll have them alone – without leaving him

Hi all,

Another nail in the coffin of marriage tis…

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/nov/28/parents-children-alone-boyfriend-age?

This is why I dig change, it’s inevitable.

I reckon that by the time fate comes a knocking to tap me on the shoulder, marriage may well be a shadow of its former “one size fits all” self.

As that bloke said in the Guinness commercials years ago…

“I like to watch”.

AES

p.s. thanks to Guardian Australia for giving me continual food for thought.

‘Self-partnered’ Emma Watson is right: we need more ways to be single

This.

From Brigid Delaney (totes a fan!).

via The Guardian, Australia.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2019/nov/06/self-partnered-emma-watson-is-right-we-need-more-ways-to-be-single?

Or this.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/nov/06/consciously-uncoupled-the-joy-of-self-partnership?

Dear readers,

These articles are both, right up my alley.

Why?

They are another couple of nails in the coffin of the way things have been done without question for some time now.

I speak of the patriarchy, marriage and everything spinning around these two axis that needs a good dose of change IMHO.

“Change is inevitable, growth is optional”

John C. Maxwell

A quick recap.

It’s true that much good has come from this way of living over the past few centuries, but holding the good to account are volumes of bad with just one example (of many) being, one woman is murdered by her current or former partner every week in Australia currently. Check out more here;

https://www.ourwatch.org.au/understanding-violence/facts-and-figures

For mine, I am strongly of the opinion we have it arse about presently and whilst we humans love company and cohabitation can be a great thing, when it comes to relationships, we need options rather than a contract.

These two articles affirm to me that this is the direction we are heading and I am happy where the compass needle is currently pointing.

I will continue to write about this massive subject as I get my head around it, but until then…get scrubbin!

AES

My life in sex: ‘Once I would have called a woman doing what I do a slut’

My life in sex: ‘Once I would have called a woman doing what I do a slut’

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/aug/30/life-in-sex-the-woman-in-an-open-marriage?

Hi all,

This is a quick but interesting read. A woman whom has adapted to non-monogamy.

I remain hopeful that this will become the default on day.

AES

Adapt or perish.

https://www.thefifthestate.com.au/innovation/residential-2/the-rise-of-solo-households-and-how-our-cities-need-to-adapt/

This article dear readers brings into reference the 2016 Australian Census result that I have mentioned in one or two previous posts.

Specifically, it mentions the rise seen in single person households.

That is why I will be very interested to see the next set of census results in a couple of years time especially considering #metoo will have been on the minds of many during that time period.

How does this information relate to this blog you may ask?

Well, I tie it in on the premise that the nuclear family as we know it in this country is slowly eroding at the edges.

Mark my words. This changes everything.

AES

Dipsea!

See, this I dig. Using another of our amazing human senses to navigate the sexuality freeway.

I am going to check it out and I hope you do too.

Update: I have listened to a couple of the freebies and I must say it’s exiting being aroused by something other than pure visual.

Please check them out. This is some good stuff which I assume only gets better if you subscribe.

Aural sex: erotic podcast offers stories to stimulate your ears

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2019/jul/21/erotic-podcast-dipsea-fiction?

AES

What is Polyamory?

This doctor gives us his 5 cents worth on poly and yes, there is some good stuff here, but a good deal of #meh too.

To his credit he does make it clear that there is limited data available and seems keen for a larger dataset in order to better understand polyamory.

Interesting that he says mental health practioners are amazed at the amount of infidelity in the wider community.

That fits with my perception as viewed through the lens of life lived.

I guess when it’s all said and done, for mine I am at peace with the fact that one person cannot be your everything and that the sooner more understand this very important relationship point, maybe we might actually reduce the collateral damage on kids and indeed the adults throwing rocks at each other as they scramble to get away from a situation that was never normal.

However those within the structures of the church and state would lead you to believe.

My thoughts on Marriage.

I am a fan of the word and the institution because as I have come to learn, marriage has quite the long and interesting history.

What I am not a fan of is the version perpetuated by some in this society inclusive of religion, politics, industry and little old Mr & Mrs Consumer.

There are many factors that is make a great marriage and I contend that not enough is being done to keep marriage great.

For mine it’s like looking at a block of Swiss cheese. Look closer and you might see right through it.

One only has to look at facts on the ground today in Australia (40+% divorce rate on average, a high domestic violence rate, single parenthood as a societal norm, prostitution still alive and kicking, affairs abounding etc.).

Both sexes have to change but there is a lot of resistance with both blaming each other for what they consider “the reasons” for divorce and other issues that affect marital unions.

I still think marriage will remain the default relationship option in society but for that to happen so many things need to change in my opinion.

I firmly believe that until such time that a communication in relationships course becomes the defacto standard taught as part of a country wide sex-ed/relationships course for year 10, 11 and 12’s we will continue to see a trail of human detritus flowing freely from the Good Ship Marriage.

But to finish on a high note one thing that is coming despite ongoing resistance from conservatives in ever smaller numbers is same-sex marriage.

Legislated as a totally legal and an equal of its heterosexual counterpart.

This is a very interesting topic that I have barely touched on so do come down to one of our meets if you would like to chat.

I’m attending a Meetup with Peninsula Polyamory and Open Relationships Meetup http://meetu.ps/2CmmTj

Until then, love many,

AES