Lacey & Flynn Have Sex via The Guardian.

Hi all,

This is a bit of interesting…

I highly recommend that you read the article below as there’s a lot to process in it. Coco Khan has done a fantastic job in listening to this couple and doing them justice in the article.

Essentially, Lacey & Flynn are putting themselves out there via podcast to talk about all things on sex and their relationship. Apparently they actually have sex during the podcast!

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/15/panting-moaning-and-pussy-gazing-the-couple-who-podcast-their-elevated-sex-sessions?

I have read the article a couple of times and whilst I applaud them both in taking on a massive subject such as sex, it’s probably not a pod I could see myself listening to.

Why? Well I think the older I get the less interested I am in sex with another human. It’s hard work especially navigating the emotional side that one must confront if you want more than a one night stand.

I may though check out an episode or two from Flynn where he is talking about male sexuality. That is something I definitely relate to at present

All that said though, this pod is recommended if you have the energy and are willing to put yourself out there (in a more difficult time than usual).

My thanks to Coco for this article. It’s a good read and I hope you get something out of it.

Cheers

AES

Bjork – Big Time Sensuality

If Women Don’t Want To Be Treated as Sex Objects, Why Do They Dress Provocatively?

via Medium by Katie Jgin.

Hi all,

I really enjoyed this read. I think Katie has produced a well-balanced article worthy of as many pairs of eyes as possible.

It spoke to me in many ways but this paragraph amongst many in the article definitely stood out;

“But one thing that remains constant across various periods and patriarchal societies is the assumption that the female body exists, first and foremost, for male sexual and viewing pleasure.”

As a male of 50 years of age, this is a crystal clear statement to me. I have seen women treated poorly ever since I first could comprehend it. And FACT – It’s still going on right now. 43 women died at the hands of men in 2021 apparently. How many men died at the hands of women?

But don’t get me wrong, there is a silver lining. I have seen a lot of change and yes, things are moving forward still but it’s doing so at a glacial pace.

Thankfully in Australia we have a major election soon and discussion around women has been front and centre so it will be interesting to see if it resonates loudly enough with enough of the electorate to influence some faster change.

The link to the article is below but you are going to need a subscription to access it. I think Medium have a trial like many sites and that maybe a way to access it.

But as I have said many times, I think that a Mefium sub is extremely worthwhile because there is something for everyone on Medium. It’s a great place to learn from others.

https://link.medium.com/Z6fc87YVgmb

Anyhoo, that’s me for this one. Happy New Year to you and yours and thanks for stopping by this odd little blog that I really enjoy writing.

I hope you find something that excites a few neurons and takes you on you own journey as it has for me over a number of years now.

Cheers

AES

Green Day – Basket Case

Dan Savage: ‘When politicians leave sex alone, I’ll leave politics alone’ (via The Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

Dan Savage ROCKS!

He has single-handedly shown us how to build robust walls to protect those of us grasping at any one time with the many issues that make up human sexuality, against the conservative tide that seeks to erode sexuality to a lights off under the covers 5-minute wham-bam, thankyou ma’am exercise.

I used to read his column back in the day and always looked up to him as someone who wasn’t afraid to speak a truth that was being hushed daily whack-a-mole style by way too many blinkered fools.

I loved reading this article and I hope you do too.

He is a fantastic human being and I thank him for his contribution to humanity and sexuality.

Kind regards

AES

A Good Read – The New World Of Sex That Awaits Us (via The Atlantic).

A Better Way to Write About Sex – The Atlantic via @inkl https://inkl.com/a/wEpzjXHqYrz

Hi all,

I really enjoyed this read above (thanks Inkl). It’s tops of a big last four weeks in human sexuality here in Victoria, Australia.

We have had the bill passed to legalise sexwork (thanks to Fiona Patten, her team & those who supported the bill) which is massive in itself for all and sundry involved in this industry and then a couple of days ago, the Victorian parliament approved laws around sexual consent (stealthing etc.) which is also a huge step forward in gender equity.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/nov/12/affirmative-consent-laws-to-be-introduced-in-victoria-in-incredible-step-forward

Then about 20 minutes ago the article linked at the top of this post popped up in my Inkl.com feed.

I mean who knew that the inventor of Kelloggs conflakes was also negative about self-pleasure & masturbation?

If we had met, he & I would have surely had words, because masturbation is the bomb IMHO and is something I plan to do until my dying breath.

Anyhoo, have a read of the article if you are interested in venturing down this rabbit hole and maybe you will take an offshoot tunnel in the article and look into one of the books referenced in the article?

All in all though, I am stoked that we are making ground on the subject of sex slowly and surely whilst also leaving room for everyone to find their happy place in the many cul de sac’s on La Rue De Sex.

Enjoy people,

AES

Mazzy Star – Fade Into You

Radical anti-women groups like ‘Incels’ on the rise, via SBS.

Hi all,

I have had this one simmering away in the background for a while and it’s way about time it saw some sunlight.

But first, two definitions;

misogyny/məˈsɒdʒəni/ (say muh’sojuhnee)

noun 1.  hatred of women.

2.  entrenched prejudice against women.Compare misandry. [Greek mīsogynia]
misogynistnoun
misogynisticadjective
misogynousadjective

Usage: This word which entered English as a gloss of the Greek word in the 1600s, acquired a pair in misandry in the 1890s, The extension of meaning from def. 1 to def. 2 occurred during the 1900s, notably in feminist discourse.

misandry/mɪsˈændri/ (say mis’andree)

noun 1.  the hatred of men.

2.  entrenched prejudice against men. Compare misogyny. [late 1800s from Greek mīsandria]
misandristnounadjective

Usage: This word has considerably less frequency than misogyny, but extended its use from def. 1 to def. 2 in a similar fashion in the 1900s.

The third link below directly references these words above but they won’t be to far away if you are reading anything to do with the rise of the incel.

Have a read of all three below if you have time and you will start to see why this behaviour needs further discussion at all levels, amongst all cultures and all religions.

https://www.sbs.com.au/news/the-feed/radical-anti-women-groups-like-incels-on-the-rise


https://www.theguardian.com/media/2021/aug/16/social-networks-struggle-to-crack-down-on-incel-movement

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/oct/18/i-feel-hurt-that-my-life-has-ended-up-here-the-women-who-are-involuntary-celibates

What do I make of this new group of (largely) men?

Men, in my view have had this coming for a long time, and whilst I will always feel sympathy for any individual that I get to meet and understand their specific circumstance, I refuse to generally respect those that gather in groups and be disrespectful to women.

In my life thus far I have come to see men as being their own worst enemy in a lot of ways, in particular the macho way so many of us still go about our day to day business. There clearly is a cohort of powerful men who clearly make things worse for other cohorts and so the cycle turns, but now with the added rise of women in the mix and thus, the incel is born.

As I have aluded to on many of these posts, it makes for interesting times, and things may well stay this way for a while if not forever because clearly, the aforementioned cohort of powerful men are not interested in the slightest about the plight of those who for whatever reason don’t share or desire their abilities be they inherited or built.

Anyway, this is yet another massive subject that I can’t do justice to in just one post, so please, lean in and offer your thoughts in the way of a comment and maybe I will bring them together in a second post and you never know, we might just be able to crack this nut, so to speak.

Until then, adios.

AES

RHCP – The Power Of Equality

Times are a changin…

Hi all,

I have seen this change coming for a while so believe me when I say that having a child as a single parent or as a same-sex couple is going to be the next big thing for the matriarchy.

COVID-19 pandemic-fuelled IVF baby boom creating ‘sperm drought’ across Australia – ABC News via @inkl https://inkl.com/a/QJxnvZiLmbk

The world is clearly changing and women are slowly winning battles that will enable them to be genuine equals against the dominant gender (as things always should have been in humanity from the start but never were).

So mark my words that I definitely can see a time in the next 10 years or so when some governments swing their policies to support this now viable option in order to keep births at a sustainable replacement rate.

But where there are winners, there will also be losers and one winner from the loser category (see what I did there!) might be the incel groups who will keep growing as women tread their own path either alone or with another woman rather than a man.

As always, it makes for interesting times and I will definitely be writing more about this so if you have gotten this far, please drop by again as…

Shit’s about to get real for the patriarchy!

Regards
AES

Mr Mister, Something Real

A very sad situation.

Hi all,

I just came across this article and it really resonated with me.

I warn you, it’s bloody sad but please have a read of it at the link below and then make up your own mind.

Valerie Bacot: French woman who murdered her rapist husband walks free from court.

The Telegraph via @inkl https://inkl.com/a/bddkMAILBMv

For my one cents worth, this is yet another story in a recent chapter of an old and long book on patriachal control that really needs more support from the masses to enable it to cut through and be heard in our centres of power.

That support will empower our politicians to move on it and make some real forward progress on gender relations.

Without that support and overall understanding of what is at stake here from the general public, women will continue to suffer at the hands of men as they have for far too long now.

Things need to change and the only way this happens is through legislation and thus law.

It’s just not good enough for even one woman (first world Australian context) to suffer at the hands of a man in 2021.

Please read up on this subject and if you also feel that change is needed, then please seek out the political party at the next election that has policies which will move us forward and give them your vote.

This must stop.

AES

Till It Happens To You, Lady Gaga

Thomas Brand on Polyamory (via Medium).

Hi all,

I had moved away from poly for a few reasons but then tonight I read this article by Thomas and I think I need to revisit The Ethical Slut soon for a refresh.

Back in the day I used to think polyamory was the next big thing but that time came & went (in Australia specifically) with the default in marriage staying the course as the default long-term relationship option.


Polyamory isnt dead yet though and I really hope it hangs around because I feel its time will come again as both genders methodically find solutions to problems that have and still constrain gender balance.

I see traditional marriage as big supporter of gender inequality but that said I am sure there are many great examples of marriage that show it in a better light.

Anyway, this article will provide you with a small window into the world of the polyamourous via one of the many emotional mines on the minefield of love that can stop a polyamourous relationship in its tracks. 

Compersion; is defined in the Urban Dictionary as:
A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship“.
Thomas discusses compersion and in doing so will take you in a journey about commitment, patience and empathy for your significant other.

https://link.medium.com/JWuaE93pOgb

Compersion


Anyhoo, I hope you click through (see my p.s. below first) and until next time peeps, keep living & loving like there’s no tomorrow.

Here’s a bit of QOTSA to get you in a loving mood.

I wanna make it wit chu

AES

p.s. Medium is a subscriber based site so you are going to have to cough up some cash to read the main link.

I reckon its completely worth it as Medium is chock full of brainy goodness, but that’s your call.

Why are increasing numbers of women choosing to be single?

Hi all,

Here’s a article that I found in Guardian Australia this morning as written by the author from her upcoming book:

Self Contained: Scenes From A Single Life by Emma John.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jan/17/why-are-increasing-numbers-of-women-choosing-to-be-single

I really enjoyed this article.  I am not a single woman but have danced around many of the subjects discussed in this article over a number of years because I feel that all the points presented are very important for both genders across the board.

The message that I have tried to communicate is that marriage shouldn’t be the only option in our lives.  I strongly believe in this sentence.

And this article and I gather Emma’s book goes deeper to make this point albeit as a woman who understands the scope of the debate much better than I can and all the factors involved.

Please have a read of the article if this is something you think about on occasion.  Its really good food for thought.

Its also a subject poignant at the moment as the current Australian conservative government and their friends in supporting organisations seek to try on a proposal for people to stay in relationships for two years after trouble makes itself known.

This in my opinion is a bridge too far and it will be interesting if they seek to give it oxygen in this term of government.

Anyway, that’s me for this one.
Catch ya,

AES

Cyndi L – Speaking Truth

“We Are NOT Monogamous by Nature” via Medium.

Hi all,

True dat.

At the link below Claire Divino has written a piece a lot of you may well identify with and relate to as I did.

I have been trying to put paragraphs together like this for years now but in the finest traditions of writing, the words only come when they want to.

“We Are NOT Monogamous by Nature” by Claire Divino https://link.medium.com/4PKz5s2oz9

From my point of view, this is a great lead into a post that I have written which I will drop IDC.

But if reading this whets your whistle, please head over to Medium and soak a while in this and so many other posts of beauty written by people who, like I do, care about the big picture that encompasses our humanity.

Remember though, Medium is a paid site so you will need a sub if you want to indulge regularly like I do.

Regards
AES

p.s. Just one fix at a time though please!

Sex has as much meaning as words: how normal people handle intimacy.

Hi all,

One of many favourite writers is Zoe Williams from The Guardian UK.

She writes an honest article at the link and I frankly love most of what hits the page under her name.

Here’s another.  A book I haven’t read which I need to read followed by some potentially watchable tv.

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/may/06/politics-of-sex-in-normal-people-bbc-sally-rooney?

Anyway, short & sweet tonight.

Adios

AES

https://youtu.be/evN6DIGPIJM

Polygamy is about to be decriminalised in Utah. Is it good news for women?

Hi all,

About the closest I have been to polygamy is that TV show “Big Love” from the US that SBS Australia showed many years ago.


I can’t remember watching more than one series but I think I watched enough at the time to get a feel for how their particular household worked.
The adult male had three wives under one roof if I remember correctly and via a roster system, spent time with each of them equally.

I remember thinking that there was some good attributes to this sort of arrangement but I also saw enough drawbacks to make me, in an overall sense think this type of relationship wasn’t ideal.

BTW, my opinion is still completely subjective as I haven’t lived like this nor know anyone who has.

Anyway, getting back to the title of this post (via Guardian Australia) after having read the article, with a few more years under the belt and very much taking into account my poor understanding of this relationship style I think it is good thing that polygamy is finally being decriminalised.

Please read of the article (it’s a really good read) at the link as it has three different perspectives that are all interesting in their own way.

My take from reading the above is that I think decriminalisation has to be tried on for size and given time to breathe and settle so it can be fully assessed as to it’s suitability within society.

Secretly I hope it thrives as I am strongly of the opinion that one size doesn’t fit all and that’s why I look forward to watching this space with interest to see what happens next.

AES

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/mar/05/polygamy-is-about-to-be-decriminalised-in-utah-is-it-good-news-for-women

‘There’s zero evidence that it’s worse for children’: parenting in a polyamorous relationship

Hi all,

This is a really good read and it has frankly made my night.

I have seen polyamory rise up from nothing in Australia and then seemingly slowly die off as various organisations folded.

This article proves the fear mongers wrong and I hope we see a resurgence one day.

What I love most about this article is that which attracted me to polyamory all those years ago when I first turned the pages of The Ethical Slut.

Honesty.

But that is me and both you and I dear reader are very different people. We all have different views and different life experiences that make us the people we are.

‘There’s zero evidence that it’s worse for children’: parenting in a polyamorous relationship

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/feb/01/zero-evidence-worse-for-children-parenting-in-polyamorous-relationship

Anyway, have a read and if a comment crosses your mind, you know the drill.

AES

“Polyamory Improves My Relationship With My Husband”

Hi all,

Check out this ENM/Poly read on Medium if you have some time.

Elle writes well. Looking forward to more of her thoughts on human relationships & sexuality as her inspiration strikes.

Yet another great case for moving fowards as a species with relationship options vice the tired old default of marriage in plain view with add-ons in the shadows.

Enjoy

AES

“Polyamory Improves My Relationship With My Husband” by Elle Beau https://link.medium.com/dJP6GlBX02

The family in 2050: artificial wombs, robot carers and the rise of single fathers by choice

Hi all,

First of all. Happy New Year to one and all wherever you are reading my little blog from.

An interesting read below if you have time.

What I get from it is that yes, we have an ageing population and yes, we are solving a few problems but many still exist and others are being created by the day.

All in all, it makes for an interesting 2020’s, 30’s and beyond for humanity.

For mine if I had my time over again I would escape to the country dependent only on a small sustainable town, build a sustainable house on a small block that had bushfire protection built in via an underground tank(s), grow my own food via permaculture, and aim to settle down with a crew of like-minded folk who shared a love of community especially when it comes to children.

It wouldn’t be easy but it would be rewarding in the long term.

AES

The family in 2050: artificial wombs, robot carers and the rise of single fathers by choice

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/dec/31/family-2050-artificial-wombs-robot-carers-single-fathers