4 Reasons He Loves Giving You Creampies.

by Nicole Mackenna via Medium.

Hi all,

This is an updated post. It was very ordinary in its original guise and needed some TLC IMHO. I hope it reads better than version 1.0.

Creampie; A verb that describes the act of condomless (unprotected) sex and ejaculating inside of a vagina or anus. The act of not pulling the penis out of the vagina or anus and ejaculating inside.

Hmmm… firstly, whomever came up with this word I do not know but it seems, at least from my perspective rather content in our lexicon of sexual words of late. Type it in the next time you surf porn and you will see what I mean.

For mine, it’s yet another interesting, complex and somewhat touchy subject that I want to expand on briefly in this post with my one cents worth. But first I think you should read Nicole’s excellent post at this link to get the full gist of where I think our “two peas in a pod” heads are at on this subject.

But before I go any further, serious kudos to Nicole for broaching this subject on Medium. Talking about a subject like this that is still seemingly firmly entrenched in the crude, disgusting field of play for mine takes courage. It need not be like this.

IMO there is nothing better, sexier, more loving etc. than moving with your partner to mutual orgasm and depositing your seed deep inside her body. Hugs, smooches, cuddles and other things that show your partner(s) that you love them are up there, but this the creme de la creme (pardon the pun).

All that said, I am sensible enough to understand that there are consequences that accompany this action and whilst a beautiful and amazing part of lovemaking it rarely is ever as simple as that.

AES SOAPBOX ALERT… Ok, I am about to blather on again. And this dear readers is why I carry on about sexual communication as I do and try to broach contraversial topics like this as best I can. Mostly it’s because I want to see this subject discussed and understood primarily by men who atleast during the life I have lived have ejaculated much but talked and understood little about the power of their sperm.

And women get a guernsey too. My great and evental hope is that as part of the balancing of genders that is moving apace presently, reproduction will be discussed more between women and men. It’s definitely in a better place than the 70’s when I was born and I hope the methodical change keeps coming.

Straight up, if you are reading this post and blog generally I reckon you probably already have a good understanding about communication in a relationship and aren’t afraid to discuss the nuts & bolts of sexuality.

You know that I know that you know its so important and something that really needs to be worked on constantly until all needs, wants and importantly no go zones are as clear as a mountain stream in both partners minds. Dig! (as spoken Groove Is In The Heart style).

Unfortunately it seems still not enough happens and I don’t know why that it specifically but I know for a fact there’s a myriad of factors at play and with every relationship having a different deck of cards dealt… it always gonna get messy!

My take… In my life thus far thinking back about the times when I was with women and the level of communication entered into prior to us taking our sexual liberties with each other and post the act, it was somewhere between minimal and none.

I regret those missed communication opportunities but I know for a fact I was but a boy learning as I went along, breaking hearts and learning the hard way as the rule.

What’s that saying… Youth is wasted on the young. So bloody true tis.

For those paying attention I think it’s fair at this point to out (strongly) one of those factors – sex education.

I, like many of us received only the barest bones of sexual education in my formative years. The important years where you are learning about yourself at 200kph, hormones racing and where everything is a blur. We collectively need to do better here.

All the negative shiz out of the way I know for a fact that sex-ed is improving and changing across multiple fronts and this makes me happy. But we are far from nirvana yet so please, keep talking where and when you can about sex because every conversation that breaks down a taboo, even by a tiny margin helps.

It’s these conversations that make the world a better place so chop, chop people… get to it you lot. We have a better world to build, one discussion at a time.

Anyhoo, that’s me for 2022. Thanks again for your patronage, comments and support.

I bid you adieu for 22.

AES

Love this song…

Woman In Chains – Tears For Fears (Live)

My lover says he can’t leave his wife and child for me just yet. Is he being dishonest? (via Guardian Australia).

Hi all,

Disclaimer – writing this at 5:30 in the morning…buggered if I know why, but the article below opened my word tap. Here goes…

I am going to try, with the most important word in this paragraph being try, to work through the column a little (which contains multiple questions) at the link below.

The premise is that two people have hooked up at work, one of which has fallen emotionally for the other after 3 months.

That person is the initiator of the questions and honestly it isn’t a bad read. And additionally the resulting short and sweet dig into some of questions that arise within the column are timely and balanced. Please click into the link and have a read yourself. I would love to hear others thoughts on this one as it seems to be a regular issue that pops up between men and women and I (and I hope you also) would really like to make some mental ground on this broken record, once and for all.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/oct/28/my-lover-says-he-cant-leave-his-wife-and-child-for-me-is-he-being-dishonest

Whilst you are doing that, here’s a few thoughts from moi that continue to circulate in this here brain.

Why can’t we love more than one person? I mean, seriously, why do we default to, and I will use a female friends take on this from a while back when we were each considering the pro’s and con’s of hopping into bed with each other.

I was at a stage were I wanted more sex, a common refrain from men yes but one that women are embracing more and more these days thankfully. I was in a relationship, she was single and she knocked me back because in her words, she didn’t just want a piece of chocolate cake, she wanted the whole cake.

I have ruminated on that statement for years and I think it has been the statement which has helped me steer my course through the relationship minefield (an analogy I like and for mine is fitting) somewhat and certainly one that put (and continues to put) wind in my polyamory leaning sails.

How, you may be asking? Well, whilst it’s clear to this little black duck that polyamory is tough and takes constant maintenance and vigilance to keep the relationship humming along, I much prefer this to the pervasive default unto which the majority of us continue to subscribe.

That being “the one” mentality.

Seriously, I consider this idea to be the largest crock of crap and one that weighs down the potential of human beings to be their best and “love many” in the short time on this planet we are given.

Why do we do this? And yes, I understand that the answer is complex and different for every person somewhat but seriously people, I really hope that with the subtle changes that we are seeing within society and specifically with women, that we might just release a few of those weights holding SS POLYAMORY down and let at least part of that beautiful airship sniff the wind a little higher up.

And before I cark it, I would love to see a world in which the default (damn, I can’t remember the word that goes here – as mentioned in Sex At Dawn), would be this (in my view) lazy bloody relationship default being further eroded within society and put in its place as a refuge for those who still subscribe to the pale, stale male & female, marriage with affairs on the side as a way to live and love.

Locking oneself down is not for me, but hey, I have always been a thinker and feeler. Some might say, a little too much but I am happy in my own skin.

What are your thoughts on the column and ranty-pants comments below it?

I hope to hear from you,

Regards

AES

Crowded House – Chocolate Cake

Interesting…and about bloody time!

Hi all,

If you crossed paths with the news in the last 48 hours you may have heard something about this at the link below.

https://theconversation.com/a-new-national-plan-aims-to-end-violence-against-women-and-children-in-one-generation-can-it-succeed-192497

I saw it on Sunday but wanted to see an outline of the detail and as per usual The Conversation has come through.

It’s an ambitious plan and one I support fully because you don’t have to be Einstein to know we have a problem with violence against women, and it isn’t isolated to Australia either.

And I am glad to see politicians setting the level of the bar with policy so all states, territories and the individuals who inhabit them can see the high water mark and aim for it.

It’s been a long time coming in Australia with the conservatives who ruled over us since 2014 clearly preferring no change to the existing order and for mine that just isn’t good enough.

But I guess that’s why they lost 6-7 seats to independents, and frankly I will be happy to see a few more go from both major political parties at the next election.

Anyhoo, soz for bringing politics into this blog but this connects strongly with my understanding of the problem of violence against women so I thought I would share.

Have a lovely day,

AES

The Doves – There Goes The Fear

Meghan Madness, blowing our minds, well mine anyway…yet again :-)

Hi all,

Just checked my Medium feed and Meghan has dropped this in the last couple of days.

“3 Unnoticeable Things I Learned From Watching Other Couples Have Sex” is an absolute bomb of a read.

FWIW, I will go on record here as a serial offender who is trying to get his head around the reverse of the problem that Meghan mentions.

I don’t think I am selfish but I am a hedonistic bastard who (unthinkingly) so easily hops, skips & jumps on the high speed line to pleasure during the act that I know for a fact that I have been considered a poor shag at times during this life.

Which is the reason that writing such as this is so valuable and I for one will be tipping Meghan after posting this because with her words she is asking us to think about how each of us does intimacy and whether you need a spring clean or indeed need to go back to the books.

So, as always I hope you will drop in on Meghan via this link and maybe check out a few of her other posts.

I really value her opinion and so many others on Medium. It is one of the anchorages in which I seek shelter when this world gets me down with all the death and destruction we (male hands bring mostly) allow to occur in our name.

Catch you next time people,

AES

Icehouse – We Can Get Together (live)

What have we learned from 50 years of studying porn? ‘Heterosexuality is essentially broken’, via Guardian Australia.

OMG, OMG, OMG…soz, didn’t say hi, because this article has blown my tiny mind.

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED (and/or CARE) ABOUT SEXUALITY, PORN, CONSENT, SEX EDUCATION…then you really need to read this.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/sep/02/what-have-we-learned-from-50-years-of-studying-porn-heterosexuality-is-essentially-broken

Why, because we need to smash the patriarchy and then rebuild sexuality from the ground up. #FACT

Porn has a part to play & if you have read a little of my take on things, you will have read that I am very interested in ethical porn and the positive sexual environment it can feed into.

I thus give massive props to Prof Alan McKee and the other researchers who took the time to look at this massive issue and provide guidance like this that will only help the debate we need to continue having, preferably more in the mainstream.

It proves to me that I am largely on the right track with this blog and as such will continue to link articles about human sexuality that I hope influence readers to read widely & most importantly communicate with others about this very important issue within humanity.

And please, if you do go down interesting rabbit holes and think it would be something I might enjoy then feel free to send me a message and I will check it out.

Cheers

AES

Jefferson Airplane – White Rabbit

I Had an Ex-Boyfriend “With Benefits” and It Was Some of the Best Sex Ever by Emme Witt, via Medium.

Hi all,

A quickie today. Really enjoyed this short read from Emme about fucking your ex.

Why? Because of how she weaves power into the story, the imbalances thereof and how important it is to understand where power resides in your relationship.

It matters. It really does.

https://link.medium.com/gRwY4sjFusb

Anyhoo, as I always try to mention when reposting someone else’s work, Medium is a subscription reader chock full of just about any rabbit hole you feel inclined to drop down for a look.

I have been a subscriber for years and if they keep the same or a similar formula looking after their writers, I will keep renewing

And on Medium you will find Emme and so many others to scratch your itch I can recommend it highly enough.

Anyway, I hope you click through, because this one is a good’n.

Cheers

AES

Meshell Ndeocello – Boyfriend

I’ve been meeting with the same group of men for 36 years – here’s what they’ve taught me, via The Guardian.

Hi all,

A nice read about the benefits of conversation and listening, in this case within one of the first “men’s groups”.

As David mentions in the article, groups like these are much more widely spread these days but that doesn’t mean men still don’t have a ways to go in being able to express themselves emotionally.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jul/23/meeting-same-group-men-years-david-spiegelhalter

Some inroads have been made, for sure and my feeling is that men are definitely doing better in regards to relationships in the modern day, but divorce and domestic violence are very much still problems that still need answers so that women can live the lives that they should be able to without fear or favour.

Anyway, please click through if this topic interests you and if you’re a man like me, reach out and contact your local men’s shed.

It might just change your life, for the better.

Cheers

AES

Embracing my inner salacious little slut, by Tris Harkness – via Medium.

Hi all,

I just read the post below from Tris and felt I needed to repost it here largely because it was such a positive read.

https://link.medium.com/yWBYdzmzQqb

Tris clearly articulates her situation in this post and how she has gone from a woman in sexual chains to one released.

I have feeling that there are more than a few women out there like Tris, who are locked into patriarchal prison, which unfortunately so many men are fine with maintaining but for whatever reason cannot see.

And then there are some who just like the default creation and actively subvert female sexual power & energy at every take.

Also to be clear, this isn’t anywhere as simple as you might expect and thus I would contend that there is also a large cohort of women who like the way things have been and are very keen to not see them change.

But times are a changin, and there is no holding back this tide so if on reading this you decide to take a chance and trust in your sexuality, I hope it is a good experience and you come out of it with more faith in yourself and your place in the world.

Anyway, please have a read and I hope you walk down the Medium road & support writers like Tris because women like her are contributing to a better world for all of us.

Cheers

AES

Tears For Fears – Woman In Chains

The Green Eyed Monster…is never far away.

Hi all,

Came across this thread on Reddit and found it interesting.

I have written about jealousy before and frankly can’t admit to knowing any more about or indeed having any more or less control over it than anyone else.

I am however, a student of the mind and as it is our largest sexual organ and primarily the place where jealousy will show itself from I had to repost this thread here.

Please have a read of the article and as much of the thread as you can manage (I got a few scrolls in) and if you want to discuss this important emotion as related to sexuality, please add a comment.

I would love to read other people’s take on it.

Cheers

AES

The Gun Blossoms – Hey Jealousy

‘I suffered for my rage’: Sofia Helin on Lust, The Bridge and the collapse of Sweden’s #MeToo movement (via Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

This looks interesting.

It has a great show motto for a start ” Sex is the highway to health” but whilst this is a strong sentence well worth exploring further in its own right, the show – Lust – looks really interesting itself.

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2022/apr/12/i-suffered-for-my-rage-sofia-helin-on-lust-the-bridge-and-the-collapse-of-swedens-metoo-movement

Please have a look if it’s something that interests you. I will definitely be having a look for it and hope that it shows on SBS here in Australia because I have interest in another bloody streaming subscription.

Anyway, that’s me for this short & sweet post.

Adios

AES

Only half of US adolescents receive adequate sex education — and Black and Hispanic youth are especially left behind.

Hi all,

I have spoken at length about sex education on this blog with the aim of trying to assist ongoing education in this important area of human development in my small way.

I was though saddened to read this just now as reported in Psypost and written by Beth Ellwood;

https://www.psypost.org/2022/03/only-half-of-us-adolescents-receive-adequate-sex-education-and-black-and-hispanic-youth-are-especially-left-behind-62664

This study says that sex education was better 25 years ago. Wow!

So why is that? Is this the pendulum of conservatism showing its hand or religion or both. Or is this something else altogether?

I am confused and genuinely interested in reading the article again and properly this time to see what has influenced this ordinary result.

If you read this article and have an opinion on it, please add a comment as I would like to understand this research and it subsequent results better.

BTW – here’s a link to the Reddit feed I found this article in…

https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/t4z38e/only_half_of_us_adolescents_receive_adequate_sex

Cheers

AES

Watch “Sci-Fi Short Film: “The Five Minutes” | DUST” on YouTube

Hi all,

The link below is a heavy viewing and more great short film from Dust.

It’s heavy but it’s good, and well worth a look IMHO. It’s about a couple who have drifted apart. The male is the protagonist and clearly the main instigator of the rift.

But as anyone who knows anything about relationships, there’s always two to blame

https://youtu.be/H2Ns_K4148g

Seriously, check this out. I am stoked that Dust popped into my YT feed.

It’s been a great journey thus far and I look forward to many more interesting sci-fi takes on all things human sexuality & relationships.

Adios

AES

DUST…the future?

Hi all,

These popped in my YouTube feed recently and are worth a watch if you don’t mind a bit of SciFi.

Future Boyfriend https://youtu.be/A_1YHHhry0w is an interesting watch, albeit one that sticks to the trope that women want a man in order to build a relationship.

Whereas the male video that popped into my feed is a man wanting a sexual partner because he is lonely so hires a future prostitute in an android which seemingly has the ability to beam advertising through her eyes. It’s bizarre but quite engaging.

Girlfriend Deluxe https://youtu.be/SM-sxE3h4S4

Both videos remind me of that movie from early 2000 titled Moon. That was a dark psychological thriller which if you haven’t seen, I highly recommend.

All in all, I am a fan of what DUST is doing and will definitely be going back for more soon.

AES

Lacey & Flynn Have Sex via The Guardian.

Hi all,

This is a bit of interesting…

I highly recommend that you read the article below as there’s a lot to process in it. Coco Khan has done a fantastic job in listening to this couple and doing them justice in the article.

Essentially, Lacey & Flynn are putting themselves out there via podcast to talk about all things on sex and their relationship. Apparently they actually have sex during the podcast!

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/15/panting-moaning-and-pussy-gazing-the-couple-who-podcast-their-elevated-sex-sessions?

I have read the article a couple of times and whilst I applaud them both in taking on a massive subject such as sex, it’s probably not a pod I could see myself listening to.

Why? Well I think the older I get the less interested I am in sex with another human. It’s hard work especially navigating the emotional side that one must confront if you want more than a one night stand.

I may though check out an episode or two from Flynn where he is talking about male sexuality. That is something I definitely relate to at present

All that said though, this pod is recommended if you have the energy and are willing to put yourself out there (in a more difficult time than usual).

My thanks to Coco for this article. It’s a good read and I hope you get something out of it.

Cheers

AES

Bjork – Big Time Sensuality

If Women Don’t Want To Be Treated as Sex Objects, Why Do They Dress Provocatively?

via Medium by Katie Jgin.

Hi all,

I really enjoyed this read. I think Katie has produced a well-balanced article worthy of as many pairs of eyes as possible.

It spoke to me in many ways but this paragraph amongst many in the article definitely stood out;

“But one thing that remains constant across various periods and patriarchal societies is the assumption that the female body exists, first and foremost, for male sexual and viewing pleasure.”

As a male of 50 years of age, this is a crystal clear statement to me. I have seen women treated poorly ever since I first could comprehend it. And FACT – It’s still going on right now. 43 women died at the hands of men in 2021 apparently. How many men died at the hands of women?

But don’t get me wrong, there is a silver lining. I have seen a lot of change and yes, things are moving forward still but it’s doing so at a glacial pace.

Thankfully in Australia we have a major election soon and discussion around women has been front and centre so it will be interesting to see if it resonates loudly enough with enough of the electorate to influence some faster change.

The link to the article is below but you are going to need a subscription to access it. I think Medium have a trial like many sites and that maybe a way to access it.

But as I have said many times, I think that a Mefium sub is extremely worthwhile because there is something for everyone on Medium. It’s a great place to learn from others.

https://link.medium.com/Z6fc87YVgmb

Anyhoo, that’s me for this one. Happy New Year to you and yours and thanks for stopping by this odd little blog that I really enjoy writing.

I hope you find something that excites a few neurons and takes you on you own journey as it has for me over a number of years now.

Cheers

AES

Green Day – Basket Case