Why are increasing numbers of women choosing to be single?

Hi all,

Here’s a article that I found in Guardian Australia this morning as written by the author from her upcoming book:

Self Contained: Scenes From A Single Life by Emma John.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jan/17/why-are-increasing-numbers-of-women-choosing-to-be-single

I really enjoyed this article.  I am not a single woman but have danced around many of the subjects discussed in this article over a number of years because I feel that all the points presented are very important for both genders across the board.

The message that I have tried to communicate is that marriage shouldn’t be the only option in our lives.  I strongly believe in this sentence.

And this article and I gather Emma’s book goes deeper to make this point albeit as a woman who understands the scope of the debate much better than I can and all the factors involved.

Please have a read of the article if this is something you think about on occasion.  Its really good food for thought.

Its also a subject poignant at the moment as the current Australian conservative government and their friends in supporting organisations seek to try on a proposal for people to stay in relationships for two years after trouble makes itself known.

This in my opinion is a bridge too far and it will be interesting if they seek to give it oxygen in this term of government.

Anyway, that’s me for this one.
Catch ya,

AES

Cyndi L – Speaking Truth

I confronted my daughter’s boyfriend – but I was really confronting myself, via The Guardian Aust.

Hi all,


I loved this read and maybe you will find something in it also?

In my opinion, we men have a long way to travel to find gender balance and restore and reset the world that we have collectively steered towards catastrophe.

This read alludes to that journey and why it is so important to get on that track as soon as each of us can.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/oct/19/i-confronted-my-daughters-boyfriend-but-i-was-really-confronting-myself?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Please have a read if you have a few minutes.

Merry Christmas all,

AES

My life in sex: the ethical non-monogamist

Hi all,

I found this in Guardian Australia this morning and whilst short & sweet, highlights for me why I am a fan of ethical non-monogamy and polyamory.

My life in sex: the ethical non-monogamist https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/sep/11/my-life-in-sex-the-ethical-non-monogamist?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_WordPress

Its a no-brainer really and whilst it seems hard on the surface, if the initial communication rules are established and abided by then I think its fair to say the pay-off’s, not unlike capital interest, are better for all parties.

I hope this becomes a reality for more people because it clearly fits with a society that values both genders equally for their contribution.

Regards
AES

Howard Jones – All I Want

“We Are NOT Monogamous by Nature” via Medium.

Hi all,

True dat.

At the link below Claire Divino has written a piece a lot of you may well identify with and relate to as I did.

I have been trying to put paragraphs together like this for years now but in the finest traditions of writing, the words only come when they want to.

“We Are NOT Monogamous by Nature” by Claire Divino https://link.medium.com/4PKz5s2oz9

From my point of view, this is a great lead into a post that I have written which I will drop IDC.

But if reading this whets your whistle, please head over to Medium and soak a while in this and so many other posts of beauty written by people who, like I do, care about the big picture that encompasses our humanity.

Remember though, Medium is a paid site so you will need a sub if you want to indulge regularly like I do.

Regards
AES

p.s. Just one fix at a time though please!

Sex has as much meaning as words: how normal people handle intimacy.

Hi all,

One of many favourite writers is Zoe Williams from The Guardian UK.

She writes an honest article at the link and I frankly love most of what hits the page under her name.

Here’s another.  A book I haven’t read which I need to read followed by some potentially watchable tv.

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/may/06/politics-of-sex-in-normal-people-bbc-sally-rooney?

Anyway, short & sweet tonight.

Adios

AES

https://youtu.be/evN6DIGPIJM

Polyamory in a pandemic: who do you quarantine with when you’re not monogamous?

Hi all,

Polyamory ain’t dead yet.  Yeehaw!

My great hope is that over time it will find it’s place within society as a viable relationship option for those that value honesty and integrity in their partners.

And I think it will as women slowly become true equals within society and the patriarchy is pushed back into a place that sees it enhancing our species rather than seeking to control it.


Anyhoo, have a read of the article  below and hit me up with a comment if you have thoughts you want to share.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/apr/01/polyamory-quarantine-coronavirus-pandemic

Till then though.
Keep living & loving (yourself only at this time please).

AES

Polygamy is about to be decriminalised in Utah. Is it good news for women?

Hi all,

About the closest I have been to polygamy is that TV show “Big Love” from the US that SBS Australia showed many years ago.


I can’t remember watching more than one series but I think I watched enough at the time to get a feel for how their particular household worked.
The adult male had three wives under one roof if I remember correctly and via a roster system, spent time with each of them equally.

I remember thinking that there was some good attributes to this sort of arrangement but I also saw enough drawbacks to make me, in an overall sense think this type of relationship wasn’t ideal.

BTW, my opinion is still completely subjective as I haven’t lived like this nor know anyone who has.

Anyway, getting back to the title of this post (via Guardian Australia) after having read the article, with a few more years under the belt and very much taking into account my poor understanding of this relationship style I think it is good thing that polygamy is finally being decriminalised.

Please read of the article (it’s a really good read) at the link as it has three different perspectives that are all interesting in their own way.

My take from reading the above is that I think decriminalisation has to be tried on for size and given time to breathe and settle so it can be fully assessed as to it’s suitability within society.

Secretly I hope it thrives as I am strongly of the opinion that one size doesn’t fit all and that’s why I look forward to watching this space with interest to see what happens next.

AES

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/mar/05/polygamy-is-about-to-be-decriminalised-in-utah-is-it-good-news-for-women

‘There’s zero evidence that it’s worse for children’: parenting in a polyamorous relationship

Hi all,

This is a really good read and it has frankly made my night.

I have seen polyamory rise up from nothing in Australia and then seemingly slowly die off as various organisations folded.

This article proves the fear mongers wrong and I hope we see a resurgence one day.

What I love most about this article is that which attracted me to polyamory all those years ago when I first turned the pages of The Ethical Slut.

Honesty.

But that is me and both you and I dear reader are very different people. We all have different views and different life experiences that make us the people we are.

‘There’s zero evidence that it’s worse for children’: parenting in a polyamorous relationship

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/feb/01/zero-evidence-worse-for-children-parenting-in-polyamorous-relationship

Anyway, have a read and if a comment crosses your mind, you know the drill.

AES

“Polyamory Improves My Relationship With My Husband”

Hi all,

Check out this ENM/Poly read on Medium if you have some time.

Elle writes well. Looking forward to more of her thoughts on human relationships & sexuality as her inspiration strikes.

Yet another great case for moving fowards as a species with relationship options vice the tired old default of marriage in plain view with add-ons in the shadows.

Enjoy

AES

“Polyamory Improves My Relationship With My Husband” by Elle Beau https://link.medium.com/dJP6GlBX02

I’m 41. My boyfriend doesn’t want kids, so I’ll have them alone – without leaving him

Hi all,

Another nail in the coffin of marriage tis…

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/nov/28/parents-children-alone-boyfriend-age?

This is why I dig change, it’s inevitable.

I reckon that by the time fate comes a knocking to tap me on the shoulder, marriage may well be a shadow of its former “one size fits all” self.

As that bloke said in the Guinness commercials years ago…

“I like to watch”.

AES

p.s. thanks to Guardian Australia for giving me continual food for thought.

My life in sex: ‘Once I would have called a woman doing what I do a slut’

My life in sex: ‘Once I would have called a woman doing what I do a slut’

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/aug/30/life-in-sex-the-woman-in-an-open-marriage?

Hi all,

This is a quick but interesting read. A woman whom has adapted to non-monogamy.

I remain hopeful that this will become the default on day.

AES

A new poll shows what really interests ‘pro-lifers’: controlling women

Check dis..

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/aug/22/a-new-poll-shows-what-really-interests-pro-lifers-controlling-women?

For mine, I strongly agree with this article header.

The patriarchy needs a big old rethink IMHO.

The male politicians as just one example (see recent NSW parliament legislation) talk about protecting life, but look around you. Poverty is still a big problem in society (and possibly getting worse) so where are the “honourable” members who allegedly care about human life now?

Really though and getting back on track, abortion should only be a minor player (and option of last resort) in the grand scheme of things.

If men actually were responsible with their sperm maybe abortion might not be the flash point it currently is?

Shit has to change, and I believe it will in time.

In the interim though, those who have archaic viewpoints will continue on there merry way fighting what they feel is the good fight minus some actual truths that matter.

Truth was always the first casualty.

AES

Dipsea!

See, this I dig. Using another of our amazing human senses to navigate the sexuality freeway.

I am going to check it out and I hope you do too.

Update: I have listened to a couple of the freebies and I must say it’s exiting being aroused by something other than pure visual.

Please check them out. This is some good stuff which I assume only gets better if you subscribe.

Aural sex: erotic podcast offers stories to stimulate your ears

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2019/jul/21/erotic-podcast-dipsea-fiction?

AES

On the Soapbox ALERT!

IMHO the Australian Bachelor TV show demeans humanity and is an utter waste of breathable oxygen.

Additionally, I am strongly of the opinion that it clearly doesnt assist either gender in any way, shape or form to move forward.

The current series is being advertised on Channel 10 in Australia and every time it comes on I look at it briefly and wonder… what is it that makes women (in this case) demean themselves and their gender so utterly and completely, just for a bloke (and love)?

I really don’t understand it and frankly can’t be bothered talking about it any longer because I am in the business of growing my brain vice those who support this type of “reality TV”.

AES

Michael Franco was so right!

What is Polyamory?

This doctor gives us his 5 cents worth on poly and yes, there is some good stuff here, but a good deal of #meh too.

To his credit he does make it clear that there is limited data available and seems keen for a larger dataset in order to better understand polyamory.

Interesting that he says mental health practioners are amazed at the amount of infidelity in the wider community.

That fits with my perception as viewed through the lens of life lived.

I guess when it’s all said and done, for mine I am at peace with the fact that one person cannot be your everything and that the sooner more understand this very important relationship point, maybe we might actually reduce the collateral damage on kids and indeed the adults throwing rocks at each other as they scramble to get away from a situation that was never normal.

However those within the structures of the church and state would lead you to believe.