Times are a changin…

Hi all,

I have seen this change coming for a while so believe me when I say that having a child as a single parent or as a same-sex couple is going to be the next big thing for the matriarchy.

COVID-19 pandemic-fuelled IVF baby boom creating ‘sperm drought’ across Australia – ABC News via @inkl https://inkl.com/a/QJxnvZiLmbk

The world is clearly changing and women are slowly winning battles that will enable them to be genuine equals against the dominant gender (as things always should have been in humanity from the start but never were).

So mark my words that I definitely can see a time in the next 10 years or so when some governments swing their policies to support this now viable option in order to keep births at a sustainable replacement rate.

But where there are winners, there will also be losers and one winner from the loser category (see what I did there!) might be the incel groups who will keep growing as women tread their own path either alone or with another woman rather than a man.

As always, it makes for interesting times and I will definitely be writing more about this so if you have gotten this far, please drop by again as…

Shit’s about to get real for the patriarchy!

Regards
AES

Mr Mister, Something Real

Blind date: ‘Would we have kissed? We shall never know’ (via Guardian Australia)

Hi all,

I read these columns every now and then and always enjoy them.

This one was another classic date night with two interesting people meeting each other in public for the first time.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jul/03/blind-date-eva-anita?

The parts of the column I find really interesting, actually the questions I find interesting are;

1. What did you talk about?

I like this question because I havent yet  seen a set of answers that align between both people.  That I find really interesting.

Note: that this could be some selective editing to?

2.  Marks out of 10?

And this because who doesnt enjoy seeing some potential for happiness being created.

These two people gave each other a 10 and I really hope those numbers and the general vibe we the reader gets from the column means that these two people will catch up again.

Enjoy 🙂
AES

Van Halen, Love Walks In.

Together apart: why sleeping in separate beds is not always the beginning of the end (via The Guardian).

Hi all,

Do you find the subject of this post  intriguing and interesting?

I did.

If you do, please click away below (and then come back…please)!!

Sleeping apart.

I’m a fan.  My partner and I have slept this way for years, namely because I snore (thankyou genetics).

And frankly it works.

Sleep is undoubtedly highly important and moreso in the busy world we all  inhabit these days where our time is continually in demand.

But what of the love and sex in the relationship?

That will obviously need to be negotiated by each couple but its definitely not insurmountable and indeed is a great way to explore your intimate communication further.

So in summary I say, think on it. 

Think of the potential positives.  There’s many.

Here’s but one.  Jazzing up your sleeping space so you can invite your lover in on occasion to share some special time knowing also that the amazing benefits of deep, unbroken precious sleep are also a precious luxury.

Kind regards
AES

Crowded House, Fingers Of Love (LIVE)

A very sad situation.

Hi all,

I just came across this article and it really resonated with me.

I warn you, it’s bloody sad but please have a read of it at the link below and then make up your own mind.

Valerie Bacot: French woman who murdered her rapist husband walks free from court.

The Telegraph via @inkl https://inkl.com/a/bddkMAILBMv

For my one cents worth, this is yet another story in a recent chapter of an old and long book on patriachal control that really needs more support from the masses to enable it to cut through and be heard in our centres of power.

That support will empower our politicians to move on it and make some real forward progress on gender relations.

Without that support and overall understanding of what is at stake here from the general public, women will continue to suffer at the hands of men as they have for far too long now.

Things need to change and the only way this happens is through legislation and thus law.

It’s just not good enough for even one woman (first world Australian context) to suffer at the hands of a man in 2021.

Please read up on this subject and if you also feel that change is needed, then please seek out the political party at the next election that has policies which will move us forward and give them your vote.

This must stop.

AES

Till It Happens To You, Lady Gaga

Thomas Brand on Polyamory (via Medium).

Hi all,

I had moved away from poly for a few reasons but then tonight I read this article by Thomas and I think I need to revisit The Ethical Slut soon for a refresh.

Back in the day I used to think polyamory was the next big thing but that time came & went (in Australia specifically) with the default in marriage staying the course as the default long-term relationship option.


Polyamory isnt dead yet though and I really hope it hangs around because I feel its time will come again as both genders methodically find solutions to problems that have and still constrain gender balance.

I see traditional marriage as big supporter of gender inequality but that said I am sure there are many great examples of marriage that show it in a better light.

Anyway, this article will provide you with a small window into the world of the polyamourous via one of the many emotional mines on the minefield of love that can stop a polyamourous relationship in its tracks. 

Compersion; is defined in the Urban Dictionary as:
A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship“.
Thomas discusses compersion and in doing so will take you in a journey about commitment, patience and empathy for your significant other.

https://link.medium.com/JWuaE93pOgb

Compersion


Anyhoo, I hope you click through (see my p.s. below first) and until next time peeps, keep living & loving like there’s no tomorrow.

Here’s a bit of QOTSA to get you in a loving mood.

I wanna make it wit chu

AES

p.s. Medium is a subscriber based site so you are going to have to cough up some cash to read the main link.

I reckon its completely worth it as Medium is chock full of brainy goodness, but that’s your call.

Why are increasing numbers of women choosing to be single?

Hi all,

Here’s a article that I found in Guardian Australia this morning as written by the author from her upcoming book:

Self Contained: Scenes From A Single Life by Emma John.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jan/17/why-are-increasing-numbers-of-women-choosing-to-be-single

I really enjoyed this article.  I am not a single woman but have danced around many of the subjects discussed in this article over a number of years because I feel that all the points presented are very important for both genders across the board.

The message that I have tried to communicate is that marriage shouldn’t be the only option in our lives.  I strongly believe in this sentence.

And this article and I gather Emma’s book goes deeper to make this point albeit as a woman who understands the scope of the debate much better than I can and all the factors involved.

Please have a read of the article if this is something you think about on occasion.  Its really good food for thought.

Its also a subject poignant at the moment as the current Australian conservative government and their friends in supporting organisations seek to try on a proposal for people to stay in relationships for two years after trouble makes itself known.

This in my opinion is a bridge too far and it will be interesting if they seek to give it oxygen in this term of government.

Anyway, that’s me for this one.
Catch ya,

AES

Cyndi L – Speaking Truth

I confronted my daughter’s boyfriend – but I was really confronting myself, via The Guardian Aust.

Hi all,


I loved this read and maybe you will find something in it also?

In my opinion, we men have a long way to travel to find gender balance and restore and reset the world that we have collectively steered towards catastrophe.

This read alludes to that journey and why it is so important to get on that track as soon as each of us can.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/oct/19/i-confronted-my-daughters-boyfriend-but-i-was-really-confronting-myself?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Please have a read if you have a few minutes.

Merry Christmas all,

AES

My life in sex: the ethical non-monogamist

Hi all,

I found this in Guardian Australia this morning and whilst short & sweet, highlights for me why I am a fan of ethical non-monogamy and polyamory.

My life in sex: the ethical non-monogamist https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/sep/11/my-life-in-sex-the-ethical-non-monogamist?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_WordPress

Its a no-brainer really and whilst it seems hard on the surface, if the initial communication rules are established and abided by then I think its fair to say the pay-off’s, not unlike capital interest, are better for all parties.

I hope this becomes a reality for more people because it clearly fits with a society that values both genders equally for their contribution.

Regards
AES

Howard Jones – All I Want

“We Are NOT Monogamous by Nature” via Medium.

Hi all,

True dat.

At the link below Claire Divino has written a piece a lot of you may well identify with and relate to as I did.

I have been trying to put paragraphs together like this for years now but in the finest traditions of writing, the words only come when they want to.

“We Are NOT Monogamous by Nature” by Claire Divino https://link.medium.com/4PKz5s2oz9

From my point of view, this is a great lead into a post that I have written which I will drop IDC.

But if reading this whets your whistle, please head over to Medium and soak a while in this and so many other posts of beauty written by people who, like I do, care about the big picture that encompasses our humanity.

Remember though, Medium is a paid site so you will need a sub if you want to indulge regularly like I do.

Regards
AES

p.s. Just one fix at a time though please!

Sex has as much meaning as words: how normal people handle intimacy.

Hi all,

One of many favourite writers is Zoe Williams from The Guardian UK.

She writes an honest article at the link and I frankly love most of what hits the page under her name.

Here’s another.  A book I haven’t read which I need to read followed by some potentially watchable tv.

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/may/06/politics-of-sex-in-normal-people-bbc-sally-rooney?

Anyway, short & sweet tonight.

Adios

AES

https://youtu.be/evN6DIGPIJM

Polyamory in a pandemic: who do you quarantine with when you’re not monogamous?

Hi all,

Polyamory ain’t dead yet.  Yeehaw!

My great hope is that over time it will find it’s place within society as a viable relationship option for those that value honesty and integrity in their partners.

And I think it will as women slowly become true equals within society and the patriarchy is pushed back into a place that sees it enhancing our species rather than seeking to control it.


Anyhoo, have a read of the article  below and hit me up with a comment if you have thoughts you want to share.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/apr/01/polyamory-quarantine-coronavirus-pandemic

Till then though.
Keep living & loving (yourself only at this time please).

AES

Polygamy is about to be decriminalised in Utah. Is it good news for women?

Hi all,

About the closest I have been to polygamy is that TV show “Big Love” from the US that SBS Australia showed many years ago.


I can’t remember watching more than one series but I think I watched enough at the time to get a feel for how their particular household worked.
The adult male had three wives under one roof if I remember correctly and via a roster system, spent time with each of them equally.

I remember thinking that there was some good attributes to this sort of arrangement but I also saw enough drawbacks to make me, in an overall sense think this type of relationship wasn’t ideal.

BTW, my opinion is still completely subjective as I haven’t lived like this nor know anyone who has.

Anyway, getting back to the title of this post (via Guardian Australia) after having read the article, with a few more years under the belt and very much taking into account my poor understanding of this relationship style I think it is good thing that polygamy is finally being decriminalised.

Please read of the article (it’s a really good read) at the link as it has three different perspectives that are all interesting in their own way.

My take from reading the above is that I think decriminalisation has to be tried on for size and given time to breathe and settle so it can be fully assessed as to it’s suitability within society.

Secretly I hope it thrives as I am strongly of the opinion that one size doesn’t fit all and that’s why I look forward to watching this space with interest to see what happens next.

AES

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/mar/05/polygamy-is-about-to-be-decriminalised-in-utah-is-it-good-news-for-women

‘There’s zero evidence that it’s worse for children’: parenting in a polyamorous relationship

Hi all,

This is a really good read and it has frankly made my night.

I have seen polyamory rise up from nothing in Australia and then seemingly slowly die off as various organisations folded.

This article proves the fear mongers wrong and I hope we see a resurgence one day.

What I love most about this article is that which attracted me to polyamory all those years ago when I first turned the pages of The Ethical Slut.

Honesty.

But that is me and both you and I dear reader are very different people. We all have different views and different life experiences that make us the people we are.

‘There’s zero evidence that it’s worse for children’: parenting in a polyamorous relationship

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/feb/01/zero-evidence-worse-for-children-parenting-in-polyamorous-relationship

Anyway, have a read and if a comment crosses your mind, you know the drill.

AES

“Polyamory Improves My Relationship With My Husband”

Hi all,

Check out this ENM/Poly read on Medium if you have some time.

Elle writes well. Looking forward to more of her thoughts on human relationships & sexuality as her inspiration strikes.

Yet another great case for moving fowards as a species with relationship options vice the tired old default of marriage in plain view with add-ons in the shadows.

Enjoy

AES

“Polyamory Improves My Relationship With My Husband” by Elle Beau https://link.medium.com/dJP6GlBX02

I’m 41. My boyfriend doesn’t want kids, so I’ll have them alone – without leaving him

Hi all,

Another nail in the coffin of marriage tis…

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/nov/28/parents-children-alone-boyfriend-age?

This is why I dig change, it’s inevitable.

I reckon that by the time fate comes a knocking to tap me on the shoulder, marriage may well be a shadow of its former “one size fits all” self.

As that bloke said in the Guinness commercials years ago…

“I like to watch”.

AES

p.s. thanks to Guardian Australia for giving me continual food for thought.