What have we learned from 50 years of studying porn? ‘Heterosexuality is essentially broken’, via Guardian Australia.

OMG, OMG, OMG…soz, didn’t say hi, because this article has blown my tiny mind.

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED (and/or CARE) ABOUT SEXUALITY, PORN, CONSENT, SEX EDUCATION…then you really need to read this.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/sep/02/what-have-we-learned-from-50-years-of-studying-porn-heterosexuality-is-essentially-broken

Why, because we need to smash the patriarchy and then rebuild sexuality from the ground up. #FACT

Porn has a part to play & if you have read a little of my take on things, you will have read that I am very interested in ethical porn and the positive sexual environment it can feed into.

I thus give massive props to Prof Alan McKee and the other researchers who took the time to look at this massive issue and provide guidance like this that will only help the debate we need to continue having, preferably more in the mainstream.

It proves to me that I am largely on the right track with this blog and as such will continue to link articles about human sexuality that I hope influence readers to read widely & most importantly communicate with others about this very important issue within humanity.

And please, if you do go down interesting rabbit holes and think it would be something I might enjoy then feel free to send me a message and I will check it out.

Cheers

AES

Jefferson Airplane – White Rabbit

I Had an Ex-Boyfriend “With Benefits” and It Was Some of the Best Sex Ever by Emme Witt, via Medium.

Hi all,

A quickie today. Really enjoyed this short read from Emme about fucking your ex.

Why? Because of how she weaves power into the story, the imbalances thereof and how important it is to understand where power resides in your relationship.

It matters. It really does.

https://link.medium.com/gRwY4sjFusb

Anyhoo, as I always try to mention when reposting someone else’s work, Medium is a subscription reader chock full of just about any rabbit hole you feel inclined to drop down for a look.

I have been a subscriber for years and if they keep the same or a similar formula looking after their writers, I will keep renewing

And on Medium you will find Emme and so many others to scratch your itch I can recommend it highly enough.

Anyway, I hope you click through, because this one is a good’n.

Cheers

AES

Meshell Ndeocello – Boyfriend

I’ve been meeting with the same group of men for 36 years – here’s what they’ve taught me, via The Guardian.

Hi all,

A nice read about the benefits of conversation and listening, in this case within one of the first “men’s groups”.

As David mentions in the article, groups like these are much more widely spread these days but that doesn’t mean men still don’t have a ways to go in being able to express themselves emotionally.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jul/23/meeting-same-group-men-years-david-spiegelhalter

Some inroads have been made, for sure and my feeling is that men are definitely doing better in regards to relationships in the modern day, but divorce and domestic violence are very much still problems that still need answers so that women can live the lives that they should be able to without fear or favour.

Anyway, please click through if this topic interests you and if you’re a man like me, reach out and contact your local men’s shed.

It might just change your life, for the better.

Cheers

AES

Embracing my inner salacious little slut, by Tris Harkness – via Medium.

Hi all,

I just read the post below from Tris and felt I needed to repost it here largely because it was such a positive read.

https://link.medium.com/yWBYdzmzQqb

Tris clearly articulates her situation in this post and how she has gone from a woman in sexual chains to one released.

I have feeling that there are more than a few women out there like Tris, who are locked into patriarchal prison, which unfortunately so many men are fine with maintaining but for whatever reason cannot see.

And then there are some who just like the default creation and actively subvert female sexual power & energy at every take.

Also to be clear, this isn’t anywhere as simple as you might expect and thus I would contend that there is also a large cohort of women who like the way things have been and are very keen to not see them change.

But times are a changin, and there is no holding back this tide so if on reading this you decide to take a chance and trust in your sexuality, I hope it is a good experience and you come out of it with more faith in yourself and your place in the world.

Anyway, please have a read and I hope you walk down the Medium road & support writers like Tris because women like her are contributing to a better world for all of us.

Cheers

AES

Tears For Fears – Woman In Chains

The Green Eyed Monster…is never far away.

Hi all,

Came across this thread on Reddit and found it interesting.

I have written about jealousy before and frankly can’t admit to knowing any more about or indeed having any more or less control over it than anyone else.

I am however, a student of the mind and as it is our largest sexual organ and primarily the place where jealousy will show itself from I had to repost this thread here.

Please have a read of the article and as much of the thread as you can manage (I got a few scrolls in) and if you want to discuss this important emotion as related to sexuality, please add a comment.

I would love to read other people’s take on it.

Cheers

AES

The Gun Blossoms – Hey Jealousy

OMFG, Single Shaming…why?

Hi all,

I have been thinking about writing something on the subject of being single for some time now.

In fact, I think I have written before about the Australian 2016 Census results which on census night saw nearly 1 person in 4 living alone.

And I expect that we will see this number increase again when the 2021 results are released to public view in July this year.

The article below is from the BBC and asks why we collectively are still of the mind that choosing to live alone is a bad thing.

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220405-single-shaming-why-people-jump-to-judge-the-un-partnered

Clearly there is still a great deal of stigma out there which saw a person I respect greatly exit Twitter recently because they were sick of fighting again this historical juggernaut.

For mine, I hope the number increases as clearly there is more than enough people on the planet currently and we really should be slowing down & assessing what an optimal carrying capacity for the planet is currently.

And I am not suggesting that number can’t or shouldn’t increase.

I just want to see some sensible analysis and staying single and or raising small families is preferable until that analysis is complete we understand what the planet needs to sustain us.

Unfortunately, this will have to be led by individuals because governments still have their heads in the sand and are not interested in the slightest in singing the praises of those who choose to live this way.

So, for mine, staying single is a good thing and I look forward to seeing old and outdated tropes on the deficiencies of this choice disappear sooner rather than later.

Feel free to comment if you have other thoughts.

Cheers
AES

‘I suffered for my rage’: Sofia Helin on Lust, The Bridge and the collapse of Sweden’s #MeToo movement (via Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

This looks interesting.

It has a great show motto for a start ” Sex is the highway to health” but whilst this is a strong sentence well worth exploring further in its own right, the show – Lust – looks really interesting itself.

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2022/apr/12/i-suffered-for-my-rage-sofia-helin-on-lust-the-bridge-and-the-collapse-of-swedens-metoo-movement

Please have a look if it’s something that interests you. I will definitely be having a look for it and hope that it shows on SBS here in Australia because I have interest in another bloody streaming subscription.

Anyway, that’s me for this short & sweet post.

Adios

AES

Only half of US adolescents receive adequate sex education — and Black and Hispanic youth are especially left behind.

Hi all,

I have spoken at length about sex education on this blog with the aim of trying to assist ongoing education in this important area of human development in my small way.

I was though saddened to read this just now as reported in Psypost and written by Beth Ellwood;

https://www.psypost.org/2022/03/only-half-of-us-adolescents-receive-adequate-sex-education-and-black-and-hispanic-youth-are-especially-left-behind-62664

This study says that sex education was better 25 years ago. Wow!

So why is that? Is this the pendulum of conservatism showing its hand or religion or both. Or is this something else altogether?

I am confused and genuinely interested in reading the article again and properly this time to see what has influenced this ordinary result.

If you read this article and have an opinion on it, please add a comment as I would like to understand this research and it subsequent results better.

BTW – here’s a link to the Reddit feed I found this article in…

https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/t4z38e/only_half_of_us_adolescents_receive_adequate_sex

Cheers

AES

Watch “Sci-Fi Short Film: “The Five Minutes” | DUST” on YouTube

Hi all,

The link below is a heavy viewing and more great short film from Dust.

It’s heavy but it’s good, and well worth a look IMHO. It’s about a couple who have drifted apart. The male is the protagonist and clearly the main instigator of the rift.

But as anyone who knows anything about relationships, there’s always two to blame

https://youtu.be/H2Ns_K4148g

Seriously, check this out. I am stoked that Dust popped into my YT feed.

It’s been a great journey thus far and I look forward to many more interesting sci-fi takes on all things human sexuality & relationships.

Adios

AES

DUST…the future?

Hi all,

These popped in my YouTube feed recently and are worth a watch if you don’t mind a bit of SciFi.

Future Boyfriend https://youtu.be/A_1YHHhry0w is an interesting watch, albeit one that sticks to the trope that women want a man in order to build a relationship.

Whereas the male video that popped into my feed is a man wanting a sexual partner because he is lonely so hires a future prostitute in an android which seemingly has the ability to beam advertising through her eyes. It’s bizarre but quite engaging.

Girlfriend Deluxe https://youtu.be/SM-sxE3h4S4

Both videos remind me of that movie from early 2000 titled Moon. That was a dark psychological thriller which if you haven’t seen, I highly recommend.

All in all, I am a fan of what DUST is doing and will definitely be going back for more soon.

AES

Lacey & Flynn Have Sex via The Guardian.

Hi all,

This is a bit of interesting…

I highly recommend that you read the article below as there’s a lot to process in it. Coco Khan has done a fantastic job in listening to this couple and doing them justice in the article.

Essentially, Lacey & Flynn are putting themselves out there via podcast to talk about all things on sex and their relationship. Apparently they actually have sex during the podcast!

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/15/panting-moaning-and-pussy-gazing-the-couple-who-podcast-their-elevated-sex-sessions?

I have read the article a couple of times and whilst I applaud them both in taking on a massive subject such as sex, it’s probably not a pod I could see myself listening to.

Why? Well I think the older I get the less interested I am in sex with another human. It’s hard work especially navigating the emotional side that one must confront if you want more than a one night stand.

I may though check out an episode or two from Flynn where he is talking about male sexuality. That is something I definitely relate to at present

All that said though, this pod is recommended if you have the energy and are willing to put yourself out there (in a more difficult time than usual).

My thanks to Coco for this article. It’s a good read and I hope you get something out of it.

Cheers

AES

Bjork – Big Time Sensuality

If Women Don’t Want To Be Treated as Sex Objects, Why Do They Dress Provocatively?

via Medium by Katie Jgin.

Hi all,

I really enjoyed this read. I think Katie has produced a well-balanced article worthy of as many pairs of eyes as possible.

It spoke to me in many ways but this paragraph amongst many in the article definitely stood out;

“But one thing that remains constant across various periods and patriarchal societies is the assumption that the female body exists, first and foremost, for male sexual and viewing pleasure.”

As a male of 50 years of age, this is a crystal clear statement to me. I have seen women treated poorly ever since I first could comprehend it. And FACT – It’s still going on right now. 43 women died at the hands of men in 2021 apparently. How many men died at the hands of women?

But don’t get me wrong, there is a silver lining. I have seen a lot of change and yes, things are moving forward still but it’s doing so at a glacial pace.

Thankfully in Australia we have a major election soon and discussion around women has been front and centre so it will be interesting to see if it resonates loudly enough with enough of the electorate to influence some faster change.

The link to the article is below but you are going to need a subscription to access it. I think Medium have a trial like many sites and that maybe a way to access it.

But as I have said many times, I think that a Mefium sub is extremely worthwhile because there is something for everyone on Medium. It’s a great place to learn from others.

https://link.medium.com/Z6fc87YVgmb

Anyhoo, that’s me for this one. Happy New Year to you and yours and thanks for stopping by this odd little blog that I really enjoy writing.

I hope you find something that excites a few neurons and takes you on you own journey as it has for me over a number of years now.

Cheers

AES

Green Day – Basket Case

The secret to great sex? It’s not what you think …(via Guardian Australia).

Update: this post has gone a bit crazy so it’s high time I mentioned the author.

Linked article by: Alexandra Jones.

Hi all,

A good’n below tis…(translates as there is a good post below).

Found this on The Guardian Australia and after reading it, I felt there was some good stuff in the article that needed to be further shared.

At 50 years of age, I completely get the need for quality sex. 34 years in training surely is enough time to dot your i’s and cross your t’s on this important human activity.

I enjoyed lots about this article, especially the mind and how important it is, being present and also opening your mind to all the possibilities that intimacy offers.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/26/he-secret-to-great-sex-erotic-intimacy-study?

Anyway, as always, if human sexuality is your bag (baby – Mr Austin Powers), then this article above will be a moth to a flame moment for you, and I will be the other moth circling the light totally engaged with it also.

And I promise to say hi as we dance around it, wings outstretched, totally enamoured by its beauty.

Enjoy people,

AES (for N’s Oma)

Donna Summer – Love To Love You Baby

Dan Savage: ‘When politicians leave sex alone, I’ll leave politics alone’ (via The Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

Dan Savage ROCKS!

He has single-handedly shown us how to build robust walls to protect those of us grasping at any one time with the many issues that make up human sexuality, against the conservative tide that seeks to erode sexuality to a lights off under the covers 5-minute wham-bam, thankyou ma’am exercise.

I used to read his column back in the day and always looked up to him as someone who wasn’t afraid to speak a truth that was being hushed daily whack-a-mole style by way too many blinkered fools.

I loved reading this article and I hope you do too.

He is a fantastic human being and I thank him for his contribution to humanity and sexuality.

Kind regards

AES

A Good Read – The New World Of Sex That Awaits Us (via The Atlantic).

A Better Way to Write About Sex – The Atlantic via @inkl https://inkl.com/a/wEpzjXHqYrz

Hi all,

I really enjoyed this read above (thanks Inkl). It’s tops of a big last four weeks in human sexuality here in Victoria, Australia.

We have had the bill passed to legalise sexwork (thanks to Fiona Patten, her team & those who supported the bill) which is massive in itself for all and sundry involved in this industry and then a couple of days ago, the Victorian parliament approved laws around sexual consent (stealthing etc.) which is also a huge step forward in gender equity.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/nov/12/affirmative-consent-laws-to-be-introduced-in-victoria-in-incredible-step-forward

Then about 20 minutes ago the article linked at the top of this post popped up in my Inkl.com feed.

I mean who knew that the inventor of Kelloggs conflakes was also negative about self-pleasure & masturbation?

If we had met, he & I would have surely had words, because masturbation is the bomb IMHO and is something I plan to do until my dying breath.

Anyhoo, have a read of the article if you are interested in venturing down this rabbit hole and maybe you will take an offshoot tunnel in the article and look into one of the books referenced in the article?

All in all though, I am stoked that we are making ground on the subject of sex slowly and surely whilst also leaving room for everyone to find their happy place in the many cul de sac’s on La Rue De Sex.

Enjoy people,

AES

Mazzy Star – Fade Into You