If you really care about the safety of sex workers like me, let us make our own choices (via The Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

I enjoyed this article, again from The Guardian Australia also.

They are putting up some good stuff on all things sexuality of late.

Georgie Wolf is on the money in this post as linked below.

And I am for anything that shines sunlight on the oldest profession in the world because it very much needs it but that change as Georgie aludes to needs to be led by those on the ground, doing the actual work, not by politicians in offices far removed from reality.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/nov/25/if-you-really-care-about-the-safety-of-sex-workers-like-me-let-us-make-our-own-choices

The Reason Party here in Victoria, led by Fiona Patten is doing great things in this space, but also the Vixen Collective and others, who I am not across and apologies in advance on that, are also helping to bring light to a profession that needs it, to educate those who use services such as sex work and help to remove the stigma’s that very much still exists in this country when it comes to anything sexuality.

All in all, we are getting there slowly, beating back the bigots and blinkered and I for one am stoked to see small incremental change happening.

AES

Jamiroquai – Bad Girls

The secret to great sex? It’s not what you think …(via Guardian Australia).

Hi all,

A good’n below tis…(translates as there is a good post below).

Found this on The Guardian Australia and after reading it, I felt there was some good stuff in the article that needed to be further shared.

At 50 years of age, I completely get the need for quality sex. 34 years in training surely is enough time to dot your i’s and cross your t’s on this important human activity.

I enjoyed much about this article, the mind, being present opening your mind to all the possibilities that intimacy offers.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/26/he-secret-to-great-sex-erotic-intimacy-study?

Anyway, as always, if human sexuality is your bag, then this article above will be a moth to a flame moment for you, and I will be the other moth circling the light totally engaged with it.

I promise to say hi as we dance around it, wings outstretched, totally enamoured by its beauty.

Enjoy people,

AES (for N’s Oma)

Donna Summer – Love To Love You Baby

The Women Bringing Sex Ed to the Arab World – New York Times via @inkl

Just wow!

Oh…hi all.

I just came across this and it has knocked me out temporarily. This post is going to end here, but please read the NYT article at the link.

https://inkl.com/a/PLqjXWiGwRb

Ok, it’s a day or so past when I posted this and I am still a little shocked, but happy that education about sex is finally trickling down.

I am also extremely 🙏 for living in a secular country.

Women here are still fighting an uphill battle in many of these areas but things are changing for the better by the day.

Mad props to Mona Eltahawy for what she is doing also.

Check her out on Patreon if you can and please support her work. She is sticking it to the man and I, as a man, love this.

All in all, my heart goes our to women who are oppressed and who can’t get access to simple sexual education. I do hope things keep changing in your countries and communities.

AES

Affirmative Consent…more support needed.

Hi all,

The article at the link below is a potent read and I implore you to venture down this rabbit hole if you, like me are tired of the multitudes of stories in which men (largely) are left wanting in this area of human sexuality.

I have been carrying on like a pork-chop for years on this blog about the need for robust, comprehensive and mostly better sexual education in this country and its clear in reading this article that – we ain’t there yet.

But on the positive tip, things are getting better. 2021, as Saxon mentions has been a year in which change has trickled down and left those of us who care deeply about this and many other issues around gender feeling like the winds of change are rising.

https://www.thesaturdaypaper.com.au/share/12928/cIJGuT9

But they can only rise to a level where genuine change can happen (legislation) when enough people want change and are prepared to give up some of their time to chaperone that change past many obstacles in its path.

A federal election is coming (and I will post more on that soon) and so I ask;

Will you stand still and allow the standard you accept to move on by or will you step up and say something?

I hope it’s the latter. For everyone’s sake.

Regards

AES

Dan Savage: ‘When politicians leave sex alone, I’ll leave politics alone’ (via The Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

Dan Savage ROCKS!

He has single-handedly pushed human sexuality against the conservative tide that seeks to keep sex in a box.

I used to read his column back in the day and always looked up to him as someone who wasn’t afraid to speak a truth that was being hushed daily whack-a-mole style by way too many blinkered fools.

I loved reading this article and I hope you do too.

He is a fantastic human being and I thank him for his contribution to humanity and sexuality.

Kind regards

AES

A Good Read – The New World Of Sex That Awaits Us (via The Atlantic).

A Better Way to Write About Sex – The Atlantic via @inkl https://inkl.com/a/wEpzjXHqYrz

Hi all,

I really enjoyed this read above (thanks Inkl). It’s tops of a big last four weeks in human sexuality here in Victoria, Australia.

We have had the bill passed to legalise sexwork (thanks to Fiona Patten, her team & those who supported the bill) which is massive in itself for all and sundry involved in this industry and then a couple of days ago, the Victorian parliament approved laws around sexual consent (stealthing etc.) which is also a huge step forward in gender equity.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/nov/12/affirmative-consent-laws-to-be-introduced-in-victoria-in-incredible-step-forward

Then about 20 minutes ago the article linked at the top of this post popped up in my Inkl.com feed.

I mean who knew that the inventor of Kelloggs conflakes was also negative about self-pleasure & masturbation?

If we had met, he & I would have surely had words, because masturbation is the bomb IMHO and is something I plan to do until my dying breath.

Anyhoo, have a read of the article if you are interested in venturing down this rabbit hole and maybe you will take an offshoot tunnel in the article and look into one of the books referenced in the article?

All in all though, I am stoked that we are making ground on the subject of sex slowly and surely whilst also leaving room for everyone to find their happy place in the many cul de sac’s on La Rue De Sex.

Enjoy people,

AES

Mazzy Star – Fade Into You

Radical anti-women groups like ‘Incels’ on the rise, via SBS.

Hi all,

I have had this one simmering away in the background for a while and it’s way about time it saw some sunlight.

But first, two definitions;

misogyny/məˈsɒdʒəni/ (say muh’sojuhnee)

noun 1.  hatred of women.

2.  entrenched prejudice against women.Compare misandry. [Greek mīsogynia]
misogynistnoun
misogynisticadjective
misogynousadjective

Usage: This word which entered English as a gloss of the Greek word in the 1600s, acquired a pair in misandry in the 1890s, The extension of meaning from def. 1 to def. 2 occurred during the 1900s, notably in feminist discourse.

misandry/mɪsˈændri/ (say mis’andree)

noun 1.  the hatred of men.

2.  entrenched prejudice against men. Compare misogyny. [late 1800s from Greek mīsandria]
misandristnounadjective

Usage: This word has considerably less frequency than misogyny, but extended its use from def. 1 to def. 2 in a similar fashion in the 1900s.

The third link below directly references these words above but they won’t be to far away if you are reading anything to do with the rise of the incel.

Have a read of all three below if you have time and you will start to see why this behaviour needs further discussion at all levels, amongst all cultures and all religions.

https://www.sbs.com.au/news/the-feed/radical-anti-women-groups-like-incels-on-the-rise


https://www.theguardian.com/media/2021/aug/16/social-networks-struggle-to-crack-down-on-incel-movement

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/oct/18/i-feel-hurt-that-my-life-has-ended-up-here-the-women-who-are-involuntary-celibates

What do I make of this new group of (largely) men?

Men, in my view have had this coming for a long time, and whilst I will always feel sympathy for any individual that I get to meet and understand their specific circumstance, I refuse to generally respect those that gather in groups and be disrespectful to women.

In my life thus far I have come to see men as being their own worst enemy in a lot of ways, in particular the macho way so many of us still go about our day to day business. There clearly is a cohort of powerful men who clearly make things worse for other cohorts and so the cycle turns, but now with the added rise of women in the mix and thus, the incel is born.

As I have aluded to on many of these posts, it makes for interesting times, and things may well stay this way for a while if not forever because clearly, the aforementioned cohort of powerful men are not interested in the slightest about the plight of those who for whatever reason don’t share or desire their abilities be they inherited or built.

Anyway, this is yet another massive subject that I can’t do justice to in just one post, so please, lean in and offer your thoughts in the way of a comment and maybe I will bring them together in a second post and you never know, we might just be able to crack this nut, so to speak.

Until then, adios.

AES

RHCP – The Power Of Equality

Happening review – sex and abortion on the new frontline in 60s France (via Guardian Australia).

Hi all,

This looks good.

And Happening is especially relevant at the moment with Texas and its new laws regarding abortion.

In Australia, the backwater that it can be at times, we also have a conservative government who can’t or won’t get its collective (pardon my use of that word. I understand it doesn’t apply to conservatives) head around women and their place as equals in society.

Check out the review above and maybe it appeals, or maybe not?

Either way, it highlights an issue we very much need to confront and work through in both genders.

Adios
AES

Ani DiFranco – Tiptoe

I walked 6km’s in the Hawaiian sun to buy this album “Living In Clip” which I had heard first on 3RRR Melbourne – Off The Record (Saturday morning’s at 9am).

It was so worth it.

OnlyFans to ban adult material…WTF!

Update 25th Aug – decision to remove pornographic material has been suspended…

Hi all,

You may have missed this or maybe not. I didnt.

Firstly, I will admit to never venturing onto Only Fans but I am clear in understanding it to be a step forward for humanity in finally acknowledging our rampant sexuality and hitting online free porn with a sharp uppercut in the process.

As Tim says below, it enabled sex-workers and other individuals to monetise their art safely and also as I have said above, hitting back at free-porn (which is an indidious evil run by a handful of individuals that exists only to exploit people and is I would contend not a step in the right direction for sexual freedom and individual liberties).

If you’ve never heard of OnlyFans at all, it’s a site where people share images and video, which fans can access after paying a certain amount per month. It’s become popular with sex workers and online performers because it allows them to build a safe relationship with fans without having to just upload their work to the public internet. Of course, it’s popular with fans of that kind of content too because they can support and communicate with performers directly.
It’s $US5 billion so far, $US2 billion in the last year, of which 80 per cent went to creators. But porn makes people nervous (and exposes thorny issues, with OnlyFans saying last month it deactivated 15 accounts for posting images of underage people); big investors and banks don’t want a bar of it. Like Twitch with its clothing policies or Tumblr’s anti-queer pivot in 2018, the internet loves to support sexual freedom and expression, unless it gets in the way of perpetual growth.
via The Age, Melbourne

This link from the Guardian provides an update on what happened with Only Fans and why they have taken the action they have.

And here’s another article to get you up to speed;

https://www.inputmag.com/tech/onlyfans-is-banning-porn-the-very-thing-that-made-it-big

Tumblr went the same way in cutting out sexual expression when they decided to go all draconian on creators and what they were saying through their posts.

I had a Tumblr account and I was happy to pay a price to check out sexy posts from people that had a particular sexual bent that I found interesting.

Just imagine the potential here people. If done right with the right regulation and settings in place, sites like Tumblr and Only Fans and others that have come and gone over the years might have even got as far one day to coax sexuality like beastiality and other weird shit that I personally would rather see regulated and available to those who want to pay for that stuff rather than on the dark web with us the tax-payer continually chucking cash in the law enforcement bucket to chase these evil people down and prosecute their arses only to rinse and repeat next month.

I mean, c’mon…really? Surely one day we can fucking well acknowledge who we are as humans and all the fucking weird shit that we think about and make it available for those that are interested such that people of all ages, races and cultures stop being exploited by a few rich arseholes across the world.

Is that really too much to ask?

Anyway, sorry for the rant. There’s a bit of information for you which I think clearly outlines where we are in regards to sexuality (still) and where we need to be if we are to see real change in humanity and the way we generally perceive sex.

Regards
AES

‘An artist in search of good material’: being a receptionist at an Auckland massage parlour (via Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

This looks like a rollicking read.

Its a book by Megan Dunn and the link below will provide you with an extract from it.

The story goes that she took a job at a Auckland, NZ “massage parlour” as their “receptionist” and the book goes into quite some detail about what she experienced whilst doing the job.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/aug/23/an-artist-in-search-of-good-material-being-a-receptionist-at-an-auckland-massage-parlour

I will grab a copy because firstly the extract reads well and also because, for a short time many years ago, I was one of the people feeding receptionist’s like her at “massage parlours” with clients.

In between jobs I did a stint of taxi driving and whoooo…mama, that 18 odd months was an eye opening experience into vagaries of the human being.

Anyway  I am looking forward to reading another perspective about another facet of sex-work essential to the running of “massage parlours” and all that it entails.

The good, bad and downright hilarious.

Cheers
AES

Weddings, Parties, Anything- For A Short Time

Those days…in the brothel(s).

Hi all,

Just like so many men since time immortal, years ago I found my way into many houses of ill-repute (why they are called that?, I need to know now.).

I did this to enjoy some brief intimacy with those wonderful women who offer their bodies up to the male sex-drive in return for money.

I generally got around to visiting these places for a half an hour, three-quarters of an hour and even booked once for an hour and a half.

They were all amazing battle-hardened women although some just had dollar signs in their eyes which in hindsight thinking about this time in my life, I completely understand.

A couple I would have definitely gone back for, one in particular, a young woman in Richmond whom I had a half an hour booking with was wonderful. I contend that we got as close to making love as a sex-worker and her client possibly could.

Another young lady from a brothel in Seaford was entirely the opposite and from the first minute of entering the room after I had showered and rinsed my mouth started with the rules according to her.

I remember putting my clothes back on and cutting that session short as clearly her head couldnt get into the zone you need to be in to do this line of work.

I am updating this original post in August 2021 as written 10 years ago.

It needed it and whilst I have updated it around the edges previously, it was nothing to be proud of and I am glad I chose to give it a full makeover.

I was in a bad place back then and I completely understand why Incels have become a thing.

Its largely to do with education and the way we treat women and whilst things are changing, much more needs to be done.

Anyway, I will finish this post by saying that if you are in a bad place drop me a line.

I made it through the minefield via the longest route and I understand how men feel about sexuality & rejection.

Reach out if you need to.

We go on…

AES

Mr Mister – Bare My Soul

‘We always see sex from the man’s view’: Cammie Toloui, the peep show performer who peeped back (via The Guardian Australia).

Hi all

This is a fantastic article and I hope you can spare some time to read it.

For a long time its been very clear to me that human sexuality generally speaking is unbalanced and has an overall bias favouring men.

If indeed you feel this way or are willing to open you mind to the idea, then this article is for you.

I feel Cammie is speaking a truth we all need to embrace via her photos and in this article.  And its true that this embrace of truth and balance is getting stronger by the day but there’s a lot of resistance still from those whose blinkers are on for life.

And I am very strongly for our collective sexuality having more sunlight shone on it through fantastic pieces of art like this in order for the good ship S.E.X to continue making its important headway on this subject.

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2021/aug/16/cammie-toloui-camera-sex-worker-photojournalist

Correct me if I am wrong but I think the saying is that a picture is worth a thousand words and maybe that’s the case with her book.

I will try to grab a copy but I think she has said enough for mine in the article.

Anyway, I hope you get something out of this one.

Cheers
AES

Tina Turner – Private Dancer

Times are a changin…

Hi all,

I have seen this change coming for a while so believe me when I say that having a child as a single parent or as a same-sex couple is going to be the next big thing for the matriarchy.

COVID-19 pandemic-fuelled IVF baby boom creating ‘sperm drought’ across Australia – ABC News via @inkl https://inkl.com/a/QJxnvZiLmbk

The world is clearly changing and women are slowly winning battles that will enable them to be genuine equals against the dominant gender (as things always should have been in humanity from the start but never were).

So mark my words that I definitely can see a time in the next 10 years or so when some governments swing their policies to support this now viable option in order to keep births at a sustainable replacement rate.

But where there are winners, there will also be losers and one winner from the loser category (see what I did there!) might be the incel groups who will keep growing as women tread their own path either alone or with another woman rather than a man.

As always, it makes for interesting times and I will definitely be writing more about this so if you have gotten this far, please drop by again as…

Shit’s about to get real for the patriarchy!

Regards
AES

Mr Mister, Something Real

Blind date: ‘Would we have kissed? We shall never know’ (via Guardian Australia)

Hi all,

I read these columns every now and then and always enjoy them.

This one was another classic date night with two interesting people meeting each other in public for the first time.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jul/03/blind-date-eva-anita?

The parts of the column I find really interesting, actually the questions I find interesting are;

1. What did you talk about?

I like this question because I havent yet  seen a set of answers that align between both people.  That I find really interesting.

Note: that this could be some selective editing to?

2.  Marks out of 10?

And this because who doesnt enjoy seeing some potential for happiness being created.

These two people gave each other a 10 and I really hope those numbers and the general vibe we the reader gets from the column means that these two people will catch up again.

Enjoy 🙂
AES

Van Halen, Love Walks In.

Victorian government to decriminalise sex work after review hears of exploitation (via The Guardian Aust).

This is brilliant news and I look forward to reading more on and about the decision over the next few weeks so I can break it down further on this blog.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/jun/30/victorian-government-to-decriminalise-sex-work-after-review-hears-of-exploitation

Update 28th Aug 2021, again from The Guardian Aust;

“The Queensland government has taken the first step toward decriminalising sex work, asking the law reform commission to review and investigate the regulation of a new framework for the industry.

It comes a week after legislation to decriminalise sex work was tabled in the Victorian parliament.

The Queensland attorney general, Shannon Fentiman, told AAP on Saturday:

Feedback from the sector has been that current laws criminalise safety strategies used by sex workers.

A key focus of this review is the safety of workers and putting in place proper regulation so the industry doesn’t operate in the shadows.

Sex workers shouldn’t have to choose between working legally and being safe at work.

The Queensland Law Reform Commission will consult with workers and licensees, their representative bodies and other stakeholders as part of the process.

There are currently two legal forms of regulated sex work in Queensland: services provided in a licensed brothel, not including outcalls from the premises; and those provided by sole operators in-house or as outcalls.

Any other form of sex work is illegal including services provided by escort agencies, unlicensed brothels, massage parlours, street workers and two or more sex workers operating from a single premises.

The commission will provide its report, including any draft legislation required by 27 November 2022″.

Finally, sex-work is finding a legal & sensible place in this country.

I welcome this long overdue change.


Cheers
AES

The Police, Roxanne