What have we learned from 50 years of studying porn? ‘Heterosexuality is essentially broken’, via Guardian Australia.

OMG, OMG, OMG…soz, didn’t say hi, because this article has blown my tiny mind.

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED (and/or CARE) ABOUT SEXUALITY, PORN, CONSENT, SEX EDUCATION…then you really need to read this.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/sep/02/what-have-we-learned-from-50-years-of-studying-porn-heterosexuality-is-essentially-broken

Why, because we need to smash the patriarchy and then rebuild sexuality from the ground up. #FACT

Porn has a part to play & if you have read a little of my take on things, you will have read that I am very interested in ethical porn and the positive sexual environment it can feed into.

I thus give massive props to Prof Alan McKee and the other researchers who took the time to look at this massive issue and provide guidance like this that will only help the debate we need to continue having, preferably more in the mainstream.

It proves to me that I am largely on the right track with this blog and as such will continue to link articles about human sexuality that I hope influence readers to read widely & most importantly communicate with others about this very important issue within humanity.

And please, if you do go down interesting rabbit holes and think it would be something I might enjoy then feel free to send me a message and I will check it out.

Cheers

AES

Jefferson Airplane – White Rabbit

Arts minister demands Festival of Dangerous Ideas cancel bestiality talk by British historian Joanna Bourke via Guardian Australia.

Hi all,

I am a hypocrite.

And maybe we all are to a point?

One thing though that rings loud & clear to me is free speech, no matter how it hurts or what the cost, people need to be allowed to speak openly about any & all topics.

And that’s why I think that this talk at the link below should go ahead at the Festival of Dangerous Ideas in Sydney.

The NSW Arts Minister needs to get out of the way on this IMHO.

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2022/aug/22/arts-minister-demands-festival-of-dangerous-ideas-cancel-bestiality-talk-by-british-historian-joanna-bourke

For the record, I know zero about this woman, but I am interested to know more no matter her view on this subject so that’s what I am going to do after I post this blog.

#READWIDELY

But before I do, I will admit to watching this type of pornography a few times over the last 10 or so years. Tumblr, before they went all family friendly had channels of it and in my travels on that site many moons ago I found it in due course.

And yes, some of it did arouse me but it never stuck as something I would actively pursue. It was just another waypoint on my road of sexual discovery and I am glad I found it and was able to form an opinion on it that stands to this day.

So yes, it will be interesting to read Joanna’s take and see if my opinion is valid all these years later or whether I need to revisit my position on it.

Anyway, I hope you also click through and read up on her and form your own opinion, for or against.

And then I also hope that you will have the courage to discuss that opinion with those closest so we can one day pull back the curtain on this divisive & taboo subject which is what the simple act of conversation does best.

When enough of us understand a particular subject or issue it gives politicians real mandates to act in our collective interest rather than locking subjects away just as the Minister above is trying to do in this case.

Get out of the way bud.

Cheers

AES

Demi Lovato exposes that legal sex doesn’t mean ethical sex by Lisa Martens, via Medium.

Hi all,

Another great Medium writer killing it.

And yes, I understand in assuming you can make an ass of yourself but I am going out on a limb with this (gut-feel style) to say I strongly feel that this issue is brushed under the carpet way to much.

A wonderful Australian woman by the name of Grace Tame has done her level best over the past 3+ years to drag this subject out into the sunlight but in the finest traditions of “the patriarchy rules – ok!”, very little has changed. She is playing the long game though and I know she will looked back on as one of the big movers & shakers in regards to many layers of our sexual gumbo that very much need to be made edible in order to obtain genuine gender balance.

You can read more about Grace and her struggle here.

Another young Australian woman who is really impressing me in this space is Chanel Contos. Chanel is also kicking against the pricks on consent and making some ground especially in the young adult space, which is the only sensible place to start the conversation IMHO.

Take note of these two names as they in concert with many others will help Australia lead the pack in these areas of human sexuality.

Anyhoo, here’s Lisa’s post at the link below. Please click through if this subject interests you. I will contend that you won’t be disappointed. She writes very well and is one of many writers on Medium that I really enjoy.

https://link.medium.com/fsAQwME6Esb

And I hope you, like I have, see the many layers of genius present within Medium. It really is a fantastic mish-mash of amazing writing on just about any subject you can think of.

Regards

AES

Jeff Buckley – Kick Out The Jams (Live)

I Had an Ex-Boyfriend “With Benefits” and It Was Some of the Best Sex Ever by Emme Witt, via Medium.

Hi all,

A quickie today. Really enjoyed this short read from Emme about fucking your ex.

Why? Because of how she weaves power into the story, the imbalances thereof and how important it is to understand where power resides in your relationship.

It matters. It really does.

https://link.medium.com/gRwY4sjFusb

Anyhoo, as I always try to mention when reposting someone else’s work, Medium is a subscription reader chock full of just about any rabbit hole you feel inclined to drop down for a look.

I have been a subscriber for years and if they keep the same or a similar formula looking after their writers, I will keep renewing

And on Medium you will find Emme and so many others to scratch your itch I can recommend it highly enough.

Anyway, I hope you click through, because this one is a good’n.

Cheers

AES

Meshell Ndeocello – Boyfriend

I’ve been meeting with the same group of men for 36 years – here’s what they’ve taught me, via The Guardian.

Hi all,

A nice read about the benefits of conversation and listening, in this case within one of the first “men’s groups”.

As David mentions in the article, groups like these are much more widely spread these days but that doesn’t mean men still don’t have a ways to go in being able to express themselves emotionally.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jul/23/meeting-same-group-men-years-david-spiegelhalter

Some inroads have been made, for sure and my feeling is that men are definitely doing better in regards to relationships in the modern day, but divorce and domestic violence are very much still problems that still need answers so that women can live the lives that they should be able to without fear or favour.

Anyway, please click through if this topic interests you and if you’re a man like me, reach out and contact your local men’s shed.

It might just change your life, for the better.

Cheers

AES

Why is God a man? The woman who searched the world for a feminist religion via Guardian Australia.

Hi all,

I haven’t posted in a while but when I read this I felt it had a place in this little space I have curated over many years.

And before you ask…but it’s about religion…?

Well yes, I agree but there’s also a connection in the article to sexuality and how religion subverts and squashes the beauty in female sexuality.

Louise sounds like a woman I could totally have a drink and a good yak with, and I reckon I will definitely buy her book because it’s clear to anyone paying attention that religion is next level fucked up when it comes to human sexuality.

Cults, Pentecostalism, Catholic BS, abortion rights etc. etc…I am sure you get the drift. It’s all connected in some shitty way that only seeks to subjugate women and ensure female sexuality stays in the shadows.

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2022/jul/16/why-is-god-a-man-the-woman-who-searched-the-world-for-a-feminist-religion

Anyhoo, please click through if the connection between sex and religion interests you.

It certainly does for me.

Adios,

AES

Madonna – Like A Prayer

Embracing my inner salacious little slut, by Tris Harkness – via Medium.

Hi all,

I just read the post below from Tris and felt I needed to repost it here largely because it was such a positive read.

https://link.medium.com/yWBYdzmzQqb

Tris clearly articulates her situation in this post and how she has gone from a woman in sexual chains to one released.

I have feeling that there are more than a few women out there like Tris, who are locked into patriarchal prison, which unfortunately so many men are fine with maintaining but for whatever reason cannot see.

And then there are some who just like the default creation and actively subvert female sexual power & energy at every take.

Also to be clear, this isn’t anywhere as simple as you might expect and thus I would contend that there is also a large cohort of women who like the way things have been and are very keen to not see them change.

But times are a changin, and there is no holding back this tide so if on reading this you decide to take a chance and trust in your sexuality, I hope it is a good experience and you come out of it with more faith in yourself and your place in the world.

Anyway, please have a read and I hope you walk down the Medium road & support writers like Tris because women like her are contributing to a better world for all of us.

Cheers

AES

Tears For Fears – Woman In Chains

The Green Eyed Monster…is never far away.

Hi all,

Came across this thread on Reddit and found it interesting.

I have written about jealousy before and frankly can’t admit to knowing any more about or indeed having any more or less control over it than anyone else.

I am however, a student of the mind and as it is our largest sexual organ and primarily the place where jealousy will show itself from I had to repost this thread here.

Please have a read of the article and as much of the thread as you can manage (I got a few scrolls in) and if you want to discuss this important emotion as related to sexuality, please add a comment.

I would love to read other people’s take on it.

Cheers

AES

The Gun Blossoms – Hey Jealousy

Meghan Madness re: Kinks, via Medium.

Hi all,

There lots in the Medium link below to gorge your mind on.

A bit of sexy, a bit of psychology, a bit of looking inwards & outwards to understand where you are on the great escalator of your sexual life.

As a self proclaimed lover of all things kink, I dig any and all discussion on this subject. I really love the psychology side of sexuality and how the mind combines with your stage of sexual growth and understanding.

We are all different and at different stages in our lives, sexual development and awareness and if you are interested in walking this road it pays to understand as many sides of your sexy shape before you decide to open up to a prospective partner in kinky crime.

Are you a sexy Pentagon, a simple but efficient circle, a crazy deep octagon or something else entirely?

Anyhoo, Meghan nails it to the mast below (way better than me) so I highly recommend you click through and if you aren’t satiated after this, read some more of her stuff… it’s good 😛

https://link.medium.com/IAP15wA7hpb

Lastly, as I always say, Medium is a subscription service and a bloody good one at that. Please grab yourself a subscription if it’s right for you at this time and blow your mind on any and all subjects on the site.

Cheers

AES

Red Hot Chili Peppers – Sir Psycho Sexy

OMFG, Single Shaming…why?

Hi all,

I have been thinking about writing something on the subject of being single for some time now.

In fact, I think I have written before about the Australian 2016 Census results which on census night saw nearly 1 person in 4 living alone.

And I expect that we will see this number increase again when the 2021 results are released to public view in July this year.

The article below is from the BBC and asks why we collectively are still of the mind that choosing to live alone is a bad thing.

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220405-single-shaming-why-people-jump-to-judge-the-un-partnered

Clearly there is still a great deal of stigma out there which saw a person I respect greatly exit Twitter recently because they were sick of fighting again this historical juggernaut.

For mine, I hope the number increases as clearly there is more than enough people on the planet currently and we really should be slowing down & assessing what an optimal carrying capacity for the planet is currently.

And I am not suggesting that number can’t or shouldn’t increase.

I just want to see some sensible analysis and staying single and or raising small families is preferable until that analysis is complete we understand what the planet needs to sustain us.

Unfortunately, this will have to be led by individuals because governments still have their heads in the sand and are not interested in the slightest in singing the praises of those who choose to live this way.

So, for mine, staying single is a good thing and I look forward to seeing old and outdated tropes on the deficiencies of this choice disappear sooner rather than later.

Feel free to comment if you have other thoughts.

Cheers
AES

Disgraced Tory MP Neil Parish ‘broke law’ by watching porn in Commons. (via Guardian Aust)

Hi all,

Nothing new at this link below. Just another male doing what we males do so well within our large sphere of patriarchal freedoms.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/apr/30/disgraced-tory-mp-neil-parish-broke-law-by-watching-porn-in-commons

This British MP must have been so bored with legislative proceedings on those two sitting days he chose to surf porn on his phone, in the house of commons no less!

For mine, I hope the book is thrown at him, but on reading the article, you may well walk away as I did thinking that this bloke will get away with it just as so many before him have previously.

My bet is a deal will be done and the disgraced MP will be shown the door with his entitlements in tact and told to stay low for a year or two.

And with that potential action, society will miss another opportunity for change.

Which brings me to the conundrum of actually achieving any change in this space.

Can it be done?

In Australia we have had our fair share of problems like this over the years with the most recent in our own parliament house being conveniently dry-cleaned away.

Thankfully, it was referred to the court after a tonne of public pressure was put on the incumbent government but it’s clear to observers and those paying attention that without that pressure, it would have been swept under the carpet just as the “Prayer Room” & desk wanking incidents have been.

Thankfully though, we have an election here soon and there are a number of female independents running.

My great hope is that our lower house cross-bench seats are increased forcing the party holding a seat majority (but not enough to form government (in Aust, you need 76 seats)), to negotiate with a block of independents for confidence & supply hopefully guaranteeing some action on matters of sexuality within politics.

These actions, if forthcoming in politics will bring further much needed flow on effects to wider society.

Maybe this is an outcome we will see?

I hope so. And I hope this is an outcome in this term of government. If not, the pressure will continue as more scandals come to light.

Because clearly, Men aren’t going to learn any other way.

Cheers

AES

Prison Sex – Tool

‘I suffered for my rage’: Sofia Helin on Lust, The Bridge and the collapse of Sweden’s #MeToo movement (via Guardian Aust).

Hi all,

This looks interesting.

It has a great show motto for a start ” Sex is the highway to health” but whilst this is a strong sentence well worth exploring further in its own right, the show – Lust – looks really interesting itself.

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2022/apr/12/i-suffered-for-my-rage-sofia-helin-on-lust-the-bridge-and-the-collapse-of-swedens-metoo-movement

Please have a look if it’s something that interests you. I will definitely be having a look for it and hope that it shows on SBS here in Australia because I have interest in another bloody streaming subscription.

Anyway, that’s me for this short & sweet post.

Adios

AES

Only half of US adolescents receive adequate sex education — and Black and Hispanic youth are especially left behind.

Hi all,

I have spoken at length about sex education on this blog with the aim of trying to assist ongoing education in this important area of human development in my small way.

I was though saddened to read this just now as reported in Psypost and written by Beth Ellwood;

https://www.psypost.org/2022/03/only-half-of-us-adolescents-receive-adequate-sex-education-and-black-and-hispanic-youth-are-especially-left-behind-62664

This study says that sex education was better 25 years ago. Wow!

So why is that? Is this the pendulum of conservatism showing its hand or religion or both. Or is this something else altogether?

I am confused and genuinely interested in reading the article again and properly this time to see what has influenced this ordinary result.

If you read this article and have an opinion on it, please add a comment as I would like to understand this research and it subsequent results better.

BTW – here’s a link to the Reddit feed I found this article in…

https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/t4z38e/only_half_of_us_adolescents_receive_adequate_sex

Cheers

AES

Watch “Sci-Fi Short Film: “The Five Minutes” | DUST” on YouTube

Hi all,

The link below is a heavy viewing and more great short film from Dust.

It’s heavy but it’s good, and well worth a look IMHO. It’s about a couple who have drifted apart. The male is the protagonist and clearly the main instigator of the rift.

But as anyone who knows anything about relationships, there’s always two to blame

https://youtu.be/H2Ns_K4148g

Seriously, check this out. I am stoked that Dust popped into my YT feed.

It’s been a great journey thus far and I look forward to many more interesting sci-fi takes on all things human sexuality & relationships.

Adios

AES

DUST…the future?

Hi all,

These popped in my YouTube feed recently and are worth a watch if you don’t mind a bit of SciFi.

Future Boyfriend https://youtu.be/A_1YHHhry0w is an interesting watch, albeit one that sticks to the trope that women want a man in order to build a relationship.

Whereas the male video that popped into my feed is a man wanting a sexual partner because he is lonely so hires a future prostitute in an android which seemingly has the ability to beam advertising through her eyes. It’s bizarre but quite engaging.

Girlfriend Deluxe https://youtu.be/SM-sxE3h4S4

Both videos remind me of that movie from early 2000 titled Moon. That was a dark psychological thriller which if you haven’t seen, I highly recommend.

All in all, I am a fan of what DUST is doing and will definitely be going back for more soon.

AES