Clamping koala: how a new sex guide prompted complaints – and delight (via The Guardian).

How good are the Norweigans?

In my mind, utterly brilliant.  Now lets contrast that with conservative Australia.

OMG…shit would get real for our public broadcaster if they made and distributed something like this.  I can just imagine the hoo-haa that Murdoch media (the city papers, SKY, city radio stations (AM) etc.) would drum up.

That said SBS is known for its risque programming so maybe there is hope after all.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jun/21/clamping-koala-how-a-new-sex-guide-prompted-complaints-and-delight

Anyway, I am just glad someone is talking about sexuality as that’s the only way we move forward as a species.

Enjoy
AES

Ah Fleshy…I love thee!

Hi all,

I rarely if ever review sex toy’s on this little blog but I going to make an exception and update an expand upon this review which I posted many, many moons ago.

In short, this toy is worth its weight in gold in my humble opinion.

My Fleshlight masturbation sleeve or what I call “my fleshy” for short is an absolute little ripper of a sexual pleasure toy.

Why you may ask?

Well, now that I have worked out what that amazing end cap does (slow-learner tis, this is my 3rd Fleshlight over a number of years), I cant get enough of the bloody thing.

The end cap controls the vaccum pressure created as you slide in and out of it or vice-versa. By turning the end cap you get more/less vaccum pressure and thus more/less suction.

And ooh mama…that’s the kicker!

Previously to this I had worked out the cleanliness & preservation of the toy which in my view is done best by running warm water through the sleeve and then leaving it to hang to drip-dry and then once dry dusting it with corn-flour and reassembling ready the next use.

Fleshlight also sell a Triclosan antibacterial wash and I need to buy some to run over and through mine to get rid of any nasties but I feel that I will only use it occasionally probably prefering sunlight and an air dry to a manufactured product all the time.

All that said, I definitely go through stages of using it. Currently I am in lust with it again. The soft feel and adjustable vaccum are absolute winners and one other hot tip…you will need to audition various lubricants (water-based only) to find what works for you and best mimics a females natural lubricant.

Above is a little pictorial history of the last 15 years or so of owning them, so its fair to say they last a while if looked after. 
Notice the lack of end caps on the first and second unit.  As I mentioned above, this was a beginners mistake that I am glad I worked out eventually.

No.2 is getting a new case soon so it will have an end cap and thus I will be in solo pleasure heaven for some time to come.

Anyway that is about it from me for this little foray into the uber-personal side of male sexuality. 

As an ending statement.  If one guy and/or his partner get something from this post and it enables them to find a little pleasure, continuity and connection without intercourse in this life then this post was worth it.

And here’s also to one day removing the massive stigma’s around our sexuality that sustains the macho views of men and feeds behaviours that are still a long way off being majority good to and for women across the board. 

Look no further than our nations capital over the first six months of this year as just one example of the change in the space of male sexuality that we desperately need IMHO! 

Men & Women are equals at birth but its what happens after that drives us apart and this needs to, and slowly is,  becoming a relic of the past thankfully.


Cheers

AES

Longview

  

Thomas Brand on Polyamory (via Medium).

Hi all,

I had moved away from poly for a few reasons but then tonight I read this article by Thomas and I think I need to revisit The Ethical Slut soon for a refresh.

Back in the day I used to think polyamory was the next big thing but that time came & went (in Australia specifically) with the default in marriage staying the course as the default long-term relationship option.


Polyamory isnt dead yet though and I really hope it hangs around because I feel its time will come again as both genders methodically find solutions to problems that have and still constrain gender balance.

I see traditional marriage as big supporter of gender inequality but that said I am sure there are many great examples of marriage that show it in a better light.

Anyway, this article will provide you with a small window into the world of the polyamourous via one of the many emotional mines on the minefield of love that can stop a polyamourous relationship in its tracks. 

Compersion; is defined in the Urban Dictionary as:
A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship“.
Thomas discusses compersion and in doing so will take you in a journey about commitment, patience and empathy for your significant other.

https://link.medium.com/JWuaE93pOgb

Compersion


Anyhoo, I hope you click through (see my p.s. below first) and until next time peeps, keep living & loving like there’s no tomorrow.

Here’s a bit of QOTSA to get you in a loving mood.

I wanna make it wit chu

AES

p.s. Medium is a subscriber based site so you are going to have to cough up some cash to read the main link.

I reckon its completely worth it as Medium is chock full of brainy goodness, but that’s your call.

Chanel Contos to meet Scott Morrison to discuss sex consent education reforms (via The Guardian Australia).

Yes, yes, yes, yes…more…more…
give me more…

not sex, but education!

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/may/21/chanel-contos-to-meet-scott-morrison-to-discuss-sex-consent-education-reforms

Hi all,

This young woman is bloody amazing IMHO.  She has the potential to push a stalled agenda along in a way it hasnt been for years.

That said, I doubt that we will see anything from the PM, because he’s clearly all about short termism and holding onto the prime ministership.

And politics and ideology unfortunately gets in the way of so many great ideas and movements but you know, it never totally snuffs out these things.

They live on until the time is right and those changes can proceed without the largely pathetic barriers and excuses that are made by selfish people who hold power and cant or won’t get their collective heads around KAIZEN for our society.

Anyway, FWIW, I look forward to hearing and seeing Chanel continue to talk about this subject widely as that opens doors and brings people into the room who have wanted to be part of this conversation who will add their voices to the fray and keep the conversation moving.

Its all very exciting because I have been raving about sex education for the past 8 or more years.

We might actually get somewhere!

#cross-fingers!

#getinvolved

AES

I have used this track before but I just love it, so here’s another run…

Tears For Fears, Change

Keep it down! Why sales of silent sex toys are surging.

Hi all,

I came across this sex positive article in The Guardian and had to share it.

I love that this subject is being written about in tbe mainstream media.

The prudes can all go and jump off a jetty for all I care.
I want to see more of this.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/feb/22/keep-it-down-why-sales-of-silent-sex-toys-are-surging

Many thanks to the journo who researched and penned it and the subby for supporting stories like this.

I hope you click on through…

Regards
AES

https://youtu.be/kcPc18SG6uA

My porn life: what my years as a sex writer taught me about my desires.

Hi all,

This looks like another great read on the subject of subjects.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/feb/16/want-me-tracy-clark-flory-excerpt-sex-writer-reporter

I am off to find this book now and I hope after you have had a look at the link above, you might also.

Education is key to us finding real gender balance.

Regards
AES

Hedonism…

Hi all,

I came across this article today and I dug it and wanted to share.

Pleasure is one of the great loves of my life, so yes I think its fair to say I may just qualify as a hedonist.

https://theconversation.com/what-is-hedonism-and-how-does-it-affect-your-health-78040

Please have a read and I hope you enjoy it also.

Regards
AES

Why are increasing numbers of women choosing to be single?

Hi all,

Here’s a article that I found in Guardian Australia this morning as written by the author from her upcoming book:

Self Contained: Scenes From A Single Life by Emma John.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jan/17/why-are-increasing-numbers-of-women-choosing-to-be-single

I really enjoyed this article.  I am not a single woman but have danced around many of the subjects discussed in this article over a number of years because I feel that all the points presented are very important for both genders across the board.

The message that I have tried to communicate is that marriage shouldn’t be the only option in our lives.  I strongly believe in this sentence.

And this article and I gather Emma’s book goes deeper to make this point albeit as a woman who understands the scope of the debate much better than I can and all the factors involved.

Please have a read of the article if this is something you think about on occasion.  Its really good food for thought.

Its also a subject poignant at the moment as the current Australian conservative government and their friends in supporting organisations seek to try on a proposal for people to stay in relationships for two years after trouble makes itself known.

This in my opinion is a bridge too far and it will be interesting if they seek to give it oxygen in this term of government.

Anyway, that’s me for this one.
Catch ya,

AES

Cyndi L – Speaking Truth

How I stopped feeling threatened by porn by Michelle Brown via Medium.

Hi all,

This is a good read IMHO.

Michelle opens up about pornography and how it has affected her.

And I can see how Women can feel like this, living and existing in a highly sexualized world where Women have to compete against a patriarchal regime that seeks to control them and their sexuality at every drop of the hat.

Thankfully, times are a changin and those trickle changes will continue to bring balance to the gender spectrum as the years go by.

https://link.medium.com/j3tKnwWjYcb

Please have a read of this link above (and support writers like Michelle) if you are interested in my primer noting that Medium is a paid subscription site.

I have barely touched on this massive subject with this post but maybe the subject interests you and you will dig deeper because to do so will take you on a great journey.

A journey that I hope makes our world a better place for all one day in the future.

“Democracy is and will always be, a work in progress”.

Cheers
AES

Deeper Underground…

I confronted my daughter’s boyfriend – but I was really confronting myself, via The Guardian Aust.

Hi all,


I loved this read and maybe you will find something in it also?

In my opinion, we men have a long way to travel to find gender balance and restore and reset the world that we have collectively steered towards catastrophe.

This read alludes to that journey and why it is so important to get on that track as soon as each of us can.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/oct/19/i-confronted-my-daughters-boyfriend-but-i-was-really-confronting-myself?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Please have a read if you have a few minutes.

Merry Christmas all,

AES

Behind Closed Doors – via 3CR Melbourne.

Hi all,

I have been interested in the subject and practice of sex work for some time now and was struggling a little with where I sat on it prior to reading about the podcast linked below and deciding to listen to it.

I have used sex workers in the past but done so without any thought whatsover for their lot in life. And I have written posts about sex work and prostitution in the past here, here and here all of which were part of the journey to this time and place.  Note that these links are from my oldest thoughts to the newest thoughts and there are a few others in the mix if you are dedicated also.

Have I evolved? That is what I would like to look at briefly in this post.

To add a little more context, I think things really started to change for me when I tried taxi driving for a while.

Taking boozed up clients to the various brothels around town was quite the experience. Sometimes I was just like the sex workers and in it just for the cash, never thinking another thing about it but sometimes I had an absolute pig in the car and damn I felt for the woman whom would have him in her life for a short period of time.

But anyway, that was the past. Right now I am listening to a podcast on 3CR with Victorian Senator Fiona Patten discussing sex work and the potential decriminalisation of sex work in the State of Victoria.

And honestly, she is making sense and I feel like I am finally finding some peace with this subject.

Please have a listen to the pod and I hope you get something out of it.

It’s been a very long journey for me to get to this point but I get that we need to evolve on this subject and that sex can be a job that anyone can do.

We really must get to a better place on this subject. There is far too much stigma and far to much regulation and darkness surrounding this subject.

So I recommend that we collectively open the bloody curtains and let some light in so we can disenfect the language and thinking around the oldest profession in the world for once and for all.

Anyway, I am going to keep reading anything worthwhile that I can get my hands on around this fascinating subject and will publish something further in due course that adds detail to this new found direction for me on this subject.

Cheers

AES

Mr Mister – Control

“6 Kinks I Didn’t Think I’d Like” via Medium.

Hi all,

Clicked on this link for shitz ‘n gigs this morning and I ended up really liking the article.
I liked that Caitlin explained the kinks and how they made her feel and I loved the positivity of the article.

And the bonus was that I got to understand another person’s perspective in regards to these acts.

“6 Kinks I Didn’t Think I’d Like” by Caitlin Jill Anders https://link.medium.com/8MIMOCS25ab

All in all it was another great Medium read.
Please click on the link if you are intrigued but know that you will need a subscription to do so.

I cant speak highly enough of the diversity of opinions on the site.  It’s a great way to engage with various topics at your own pace and way better than a newspaper IMHO.

Anyway, please enjoy.

AES

The sole function of the clitoris is female orgasm. Is that why it’s ignored by medical science? via The Guardian Australia.

Hi all,

I apologise in advance for the blue language coming your way throughout this post, but…
Faaaark me!

My understanding of the elephant in the room, that being the patriarchal control of female bodies just took jump forward at light speed.

Please read and digest this statement as an entree for your mind fuck main course coming later on;
The first comprehensive anatomical study of the clitoris was led by O’Connell and published in 1998“.

in 1998!

What the fucking fuck! 

I would like to think of myself as better read than the average man on sex and have definitely read little bits over the years alluding to the fact that men have been controlling women’s bodies and thus their sexuality for a long time over the past 10 or more years, but I had no idea about this truth.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/nov/01/the-sole-function-of-the-clitoris-is-female-orgasm-is-that-why-its-ignored-by-medical-science

1998! 
WTF!

Penises, and ball-sack’s have been in art and medicine for bloody eons.

I am sitting here a tad flabbergasted at the moment.

So, if you ever wondered about and thought on men & women as I am want to do (probs way too much), I very much hope this joins a dot or three for you like it has done for me.

The summary for mine is that all men really need to take long hard look.

1998…fuck me. THAT IS INSANE.

BTW…thanks to the Guardian for this wonderful article.

AES

“I’m Finally Super Horny…& Men Are Stressed.” via Medium.

Hi all,

I found this on Medium this morning as written by Lisa Martens.

It’s both a great read and one chock full of “lolz”.  But I think there’s also a lesson in the laughs for those that are paying attention.

“I’m Finally Super Horny…& Men Are Stressed.” by Lisa Martens https://link.medium.com/ZKaM3iHcvab

For me it highlights the change that is bearing down on us like a freight train, but I will have more to say on this soon.

As always, a quick disclaimer.  I have my own Medium subscription to read these as will you.
It’s a great site that you will get so much out of for so little, with this link above being just one example of the great writing available.

Stay safe in these crazy times,
AES

“The Magic of Audio Porn” via Medium.

Hi all,

I have written about this subject previously and still support it highly.

For when it comes to the erotic, diversity must rule in my very humble opinion.

Lillian nails it with this article, which, yes, is another Medium article that I am riding coat-tail’s on, but hey, if it’s good writing or a subject I place value upon, it should be up in lights I think.

“The Magic of Audio Porn” by Lillian Grover. https://link.medium.com/EE4GXgXRN8

Anyhoo, as always I hope you get something from this post remembering that Medium is a paid site unlike my little blog here.

Which I do, because I continue to be amazed by human sexuality and all its flawed beauty.

Regards
AES