Disclaimer – writing this at 5:30 in the morning…buggered if I know why, but the article below opened my word tap. Here goes…
I am going to try, with the most important word in this paragraph being try, to work through the column a little (which contains multiple questions) at the link below.
The premise is that two people have hooked up at work, one of which has fallen emotionally for the other after 3 months.
That person is the initiator of the questions and honestly it isn’t a bad read. And additionally the resulting short and sweet dig into some of questions that arise within the column are timely and balanced. Please click into the link and have a read yourself. I would love to hear others thoughts on this one as it seems to be a regular issue that pops up between men and women and I (and I hope you also) would really like to make some mental ground on this broken record, once and for all.
Whilst you are doing that, here’s a few thoughts from moi that continue to circulate in this here brain.
Why can’t we love more than one person? I mean, seriously, why do we default to, and I will use a female friends take on this from a while back when we were each considering the pro’s and con’s of hopping into bed with each other.
I was at a stage were I wanted more sex, a common refrain from men yes but one that women are embracing more and more these days thankfully. I was in a relationship, she was single and she knocked me back because in her words, she didn’t just want a piece of chocolate cake, she wanted the whole cake.
I have ruminated on that statement for years and I think it has been the statement which has helped me steer my course through the relationship minefield (an analogy I like and for mine is fitting) somewhat and certainly one that put (and continues to put) wind in my polyamory leaning sails.
How, you may be asking? Well, whilst it’s clear to this little black duck that polyamory is tough and takes constant maintenance and vigilance to keep the relationship humming along, I much prefer this to the pervasive default unto which the majority of us continue to subscribe.
That being “the one” mentality.
Seriously, I consider this idea to be the largest crock of crap and one that weighs down the potential of human beings to be their best and “love many” in the short time on this planet we are given.
Why do we do this? And yes, I understand that the answer is complex and different for every person somewhat but seriously people, I really hope that with the subtle changes that we are seeing within society and specifically with women, that we might just release a few of those weights holding SS POLYAMORY down and let at least part of that beautiful airship sniff the wind a little higher up.
And before I cark it, I would love to see a world in which the default (damn, I can’t remember the word that goes here – as mentioned in Sex At Dawn), would be this (in my view) lazy bloody relationship default being further eroded within society and put in its place as a refuge for those who still subscribe to the pale, stale male & female, marriage with affairs on the side as a way to live and love.
Locking oneself down is not for me, but hey, I have always been a thinker and feeler. Some might say, a little too much but I am happy in my own skin.
What are your thoughts on the column and ranty-pants comments below it?
I hope to hear from you,
Crowded House – Chocolate Cake