What Love Is – Carrie Jenkins.

I came across this book whilst flicking through my Amazon Audible catalogue and thought, ahh…why the hell not!

This book was very interesting and whenever I made time for it I felt like my brain was getting bigger as a result.

She is an interesting lady. A Scottish Philosopher working and living in Vancouver, Canada.

She is also a polyamorist or ethical non-monogamist.

I have always struggled with the notion of love. I have issues with the comodification of it and the industry it has become so this book was a welcome relief.

I just re-listened to chapter 1 prior to writing this as I remember ending the book with many questions and interesting resources to look for, but I never did at the time.

One other thing is that I reached out to Prof. Jenkins via her website (which has lots of other goodies on it) and thanked her for the book.

I also asked if it was possible to procure a signed copy, something I rarely do and she got back to me quickly requesting my address.

A signed copy arrived in the mail as week later!

All in all, this is a great book if you, like I have ever questioned What Love Is.

5 Stars

AES

But why so much sex…?

I just had a look at my site, trying to view it from a reader’s perspective and a word I saw repetitively come up whilst flicking through the first 15 odd posts was sex.

…But this blog is supposed to be about different types of relationships he says to himself…

Why is this so? if I may quote Professor Julius Summner-Miller (checking this laterz)?

Well I guess I feel sex is a large part of any relationship and maybe it doesn’t get talked about in that way in society, at least that is my lived experience here in Australia.

And in regards to relationships I actually found polyamory through a female friend who knew me and understood I wasn’t a cad nor wanted flings and being a male, sex is still happily at the forefront of my mind.

I guess I am just trying to understand how all the puzzle pieces fit, with sex (important to me in the grand context) being one of those pieces.

Anyway, rest assured that this overbalance has been duly noted and I will set out over the coming months to find some balance.

Till then y’all…

Love like there’s no tomorrow.

AES

I love this Woman…

I heard her music and the lyrics that still challenge me to this day first on 3RRR Melbourne on a little show that has aired on a Saturday morning from 9am by a fella called Brian Wise for many a year now.

Luckily, a month later when I was overseas in a Borders Bookshop, what was sitting on a stand in front of me but;

Living In Clip

To this day this album is still in my top 25 albums of all time.

And I didn’t stop there either. She has some seriously amazing albums and of the others, I haven’t given them enough time which is kinda cool knowing that as inspiration strikes I might well find another album or song to take me on another journey.

Check out her and the artists she supports here;

https://www.righteousbabe.com

And while you are there check out Ani’s blog of books to read. There’s a few I will get to one day as time permits and I can drag myself away from this smartphone!

If you care about humanity like I do, Ani DiFranco needs to be in your optimist playlist.

Love always y’all

AES

Hmmm…Loss of Desire. 75% of Women and 25% of Men!

Is returning a loss of desire really as easy as committing to and or choosing it….?

My experience tells me that this is horseshit and frankly, I am not sold on this premise.

I certainly agree with the speaker in this TEDTalk that there still are many, many problematic societal issues that exist without complete solutions within the sphere of human sexuality but I am glad that a good deal of them have been largely acknowledged (with more to come I hope) in the mainstream recently (#metoo, Royal Commission into Domestic Violence etc.).

Maybe we are finally getting somewhere.

I hope that in a hundred years time, things are somewhat better for women.  Certainly and at the very least in the ways males contribute to all the many problems that exist as the societal level when it comes to relationships, intimacy, sexuality etc.

As for mothers bringing up better girls who want them to stand on their own two feet as strong women who can make a choice as to the relationship style that best suits them, I don’t know if this is happening at a similar rate of change?

Certainly if my recent experience is a metric of any worth, there still are many young women who still very much gravitate to and believe in the standard narrative of boy meets girl etc.

I find this a lemming like behaviour and it concerns me.

For mine I think there is more sense in sharing and finding the right person for the right need or want to meet you in compromise rather than locking yourself into an outdated and still overly religious relationship model like marriage.

For me, that is Polyamory.

This talk bought home for me yet again why I think we still have it “arse about” in regards to human relationships.

AES

What is Polyamory? This is what it’s really like to have multiple partners. Vogue Australia

A Vogue article!

Not a publication that I would read but nevertheless a well-balanced article.

https://www.vogue.com.au/culture/lifestyle/what-is-polyamory-this-is-what-its-really-like-to-have-multiple-partners/news-story/848f3c987c589a9ec656462d9836a66b

This is why I am drawn to polyamory.

It’s more human.

Keep loving people. We certainly need it at this dark time in history.

AES

Sex Education 101

“Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.”

Socrates

Just imagine if we could get to this point eventually?

Every child given the sexual education needed to navigate and sail safely through the roughest sexual seas and come out with their flame intact.

Reduced everything…everything you can connect with human sexuality that concerns and saddens us might be the outcome.

In Australia, we are still struggling with the debate about safe schools and whether or not it helps or hinders chuldren.

I see it as a positive step forward but it will struggle along for a while yet in a politically apathetic and uninformed electorate (the 2019 election proved that statement) thanks to many Conservatives who have pull (and spin a plenty) at this time in history.

The cycle will go around again though (as it does) in time with I hope the subject of safe schools afforded a regular gig.

Still a bit of a journey yet, but don’t stop dreaming.

AES

The Science of Sex: what happens to our bodies when we’re aroused?

The science of sex: what happens to our bodies when we’re aroused?
“They don’t talk about the very natural reason to want to have sex, which is pleasure.”

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/23/the-science-of-sex-what-happens-to-our-bodies-when-were-aroused?

I found this an interesting read. One can always learn more about this subject I feel.

Enjoy.

AES

Dating Sites

Ok, so I am one of those people on this wonderful planet who loved human sexuality from the day he first experienced it.

It was a drug I that I dug fully which I refuse to give up, because frankly, in a fucking shitty world chock full of daily death and destruction, a bit of self pleasure is the one thing that keeps me on track and wanting to wake up to have another go the next day.

I say self pleasure because that is my lot in life now.

The optimist in me is still searching for the female me. A woman who loves sexuality like I do and needs and desires it for escape and pleasure as I do.

I thought dating sites would be where she might be but she isn’t. She is a rare beast, maybe even a Unicorn.

There is but a few women on these sites with the overwhelming majority of these brave and desperate souls looking for a relationship using their sexuality as bait as is commonplace in our society and this time.

And these sites churn through members like I can churn through a packet of Chicos any night of the week. Apologies to my Dentist for this truth!

The Lemmings, like I was until tonight come and throw down their cash in the hope they will get laid, find a life partner or both if you are really lucky.

Unfortunately, with no free lunches actually available when it comes to this subject, the sad outcome inevitably lies somewhere between the P’s of pipe-dream and profit-making exercise.

So tonight, to quote Top Gun “I called the ball”.

No more will I shell out cash in exchange for false hope.

I will save my money and go to a brothel to get my fill even though I detest that this option is still very much available in 2019.

It all fucked up really.

AES

On your phone all the time? Study links this with more sexual partners and worse mental health. Hack – Triple j

https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/study-links-excessive-phone-use-with-more-sexual-partners/11283760

Interesting, but this article lost me when it mentioned hook-up’s that aren’t normal or words to that effect?

I take issue with the concept that there is only one way to have a relationship i.e the standard narrative (boy meets girl etc.).

Note a 3400 sample number, but college students also.

As an aside, I wonder if we will look back upon smartphones as a good thing for society or a curse?

Have a read and make your own mind up.

AES

Watch “TEDxSF – Nicole Daedone – Orgasm: The Cure for Hunger in the Western Woman” on YouTube

This is an interesting watch. Well worth some of your time IMHO.

This lady is the awesome and I hope that while I am late to this talk, she is still going strong. Will have to check out her website I think.

Then there’s this on the clitorus. Another wonderful lady seeking to smash taboo. Love it!

All this made me think of these awesome RHCP lyrics.

Blood sugar sucker fish
In my dish
How many pieces
Do you wish
Step into a heaven
Where I keep it on the soul side
Girl please me
Be my soul bride
Every women
Has a piece of Aphrodite
Copulate to create
A state of sexual light
Kissing her virginity
My affinity
I mingle with the gods
I mingle with divinity
Blood sugar baby
She’s magik
Sex magik sex magik

Enjoy people.

AES