I wrote this back in 2012 and on reading through nearly 8 years later I think I still feel the same way so this one stays original. No update.
Bettina Arndt…that name makes a lot of women rather angry for some reason?
I agree with this article not because I like what she has written, but because I have lived it and I consider it truthful.
Up until 30 odd years of age I was content to keep to myself on matters of sexuality.
A quiet, unassuming and a never gonna get any regularly sorta guy.
Blokes like me, well we just buy porn, visit the occasional sex worker and wank like there is no tomorrow to keep us sane.
I started to take risks at about 35 I reckon (to get a bit more than I was at home), silly risks that got me into trouble, sexual harassment, pressure at work etc.
Thankfully I have seen sense and just stay away from women at work these days as the rule. Its just not worth it.
So what is the solution?
Obviously genuine sexual communication between both people is up there as a big hitter on the list of solutions, but as I have experienced more than once it is rare for both parties to really open up and lay their sexuality on the line.
Communication might bring you to understand where the differences lie if both parties are truthful, it might actually reinvigorate the sex life in the relationship. It may lead to an open relationship, it can lead anywhere as long as both partners bring honesty to the table.
Enter stage left…Circular Argument.
Maybe a little movement will occur through the efforts of Arndt and other sex writers but on the issue of sexuality shit is just going to stay as it always has.
“The Standard Narrative” as it’s stated in “Sex At Dawn” is pretty a resolute beast.
People falling in love, having magnificent sex for a time, maybe creating a child and then realising that there is no flame anymore so I might as well cheat or see prostitutes or wank behind my partners back or what the fuck ever floats your boat.
Sad really for such an interesting species with a mind capable of almost anything.