Who is Mrs Palmer & her 5 daughters?

Heya all,

Updating this in late 2020 as originally written in 2013’ish. It was a bit rough as originally published but is coming together with this update.



Hi all,

May I introduce Mrs Palmer (being my trusty right hand palm) and her five daughters (being thine fingers that grip thy shaft so well).

Masturbation. Where would I be without thee?

And the answer. Basically up shit’s creek – without a paddle!

Finding sexual partners has always been an uphill battle for moi and so I regularly default to the reliable (and healthy) option as the rule rather than exception, which may well be your pleasure modality of choice also?

I used to be able to “spank the monkey” numerous times a day and still exercise but I must admit to slowing down as I get older.

A quick calculation which may gross some of you out but is interesting to me.

Working on 5ml of ejaculate per session (which I think is the average amount expressed during the male orgasm) and multiplying that out over the years I have defaulted to dear Mrs Palmer’s pleasure solution, I get a whopping 6+ litres of semen that has left my body headed for most usually my belly, followed closely by a tissue.

That is a lot of semen and sperm!

And before you ask, am I addicted to masturbation?

I dont know. I dont think so but I have noticed that my ability to orgasm with a woman is getting harder as the years go by.

And I have contemplated this and come to the conclusion that a bird in the hand is the better strategy for me because I am yet to find a woman on this planet who matches my hedonistic mindset.

She is a rare beast it seems.

Anyway, there’s my 1c’s worth on masturbation.

I hope it helps you accept that there is absolutely nothing wrong with self pleasure.

And with that, its time to lie back and have some fun.



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