Updating this in late 2020 as originally written in 2013’ish. It was a bit rough as originally published but is coming together with this update.
May I introduce Mrs Palmer (being my trusty right hand palm) and her five daughters (being thine fingers that grip thy shaft so well).
Masturbation. Where would I be without thee?
And the answer. Basically up shit’s creek – without a paddle!
Finding sexual partners has always been an uphill battle for moi and so I regularly default to the reliable (and healthy) option as the rule rather than exception, which may well be your pleasure modality of choice also?
I used to be able to “spank the monkey” numerous times a day and still exercise but I must admit to slowing down as I get older.
A quick calculation which may gross some of you out but is interesting to me.
Working on 5ml of ejaculate per session (which I think is the average amount expressed during the male orgasm) and multiplying that out over the years I have defaulted to dear Mrs Palmer’s pleasure solution, I get a whopping 6+ litres of semen that has left my body headed for most usually my belly, followed closely by a tissue.
That is a lot of semen and sperm!
And before you ask, am I addicted to masturbation?
I dont know. I dont think so but I have noticed that my ability to orgasm with a woman is getting harder as the years go by.
And I have contemplated this and come to the conclusion that a bird in the hand is the better strategy for me because I am yet to find a woman on this planet who matches my hedonistic mindset.
She is a rare beast it seems.
Anyway, there’s my 1c’s worth on masturbation.
I hope it helps you accept that there is absolutely nothing wrong with self pleasure.
And with that, its time to lie back and have some fun.
Yes, I am an Australian. So why the hell am I posting articles about legislation being enacted in effing Tennessee?
Well, we have our fair share of conservatives out here also. I have spoken previously about one whom I converse with regularly and am constantly amazed as to how they formulate the ideas in their mind about sexuality.
We may actually be heading towards a Conservative government if the Australian Labor Party continue to dissolve in front of our eyes?
Well, we certainly wont evolve any further down the same-sex marriage path I would think. And as for sex-education…that would stay well clear of the curriculum I am also prepared to state as an outcome.
I just dont get it. What is it about sex that people are afraid of?
And who is driving this fear…a. the Church?, b. The State?, c. our collective upbringings?, d. a little of all three and more?
Are we content seeing issue after issue spewed across the news on a regular basis about sexual assault, or sex-trafficking or youth pregnancy, pedophilia or blah, blah, blah?