I think I am at about a count of 10 women thus far whom I have got to know online but when I drop the “P” word everything goes to shit.
I am doing the responsible thing and searching for women amongst those with a little extra baggage and yet even with that as an extra barrier to possible intimacy they are running for the hills on mention of the word.
Just had another one now bolt off on me when I stated that in time I would like to know 2-3 wonderful poly oriented women who are able to share quality time with me as our schedules permit loving each other as best we can, growing old and helping each other where we can.
I guess it just goes to show how utterly socially programmed women are, and a lot of men too, but I would argue that women are in the greater numbers here. What say you?
It is bloody frustrating I can tell you in that I have finally found a lifestyle that I think I fit, in that I really believe that I was put on this earth to love more than one person, but I cant find anyone to love or have love me!
I will persevere though because they are out there just as I was frustrated with monogamy but haven’t made the jump to read a book or go online and research the lifestyle as yet.
Patience will win this one.
2 thoughts on “Oooh…Polyamory is so very scary….”
Bzzzt — wrong. Many of the leaders of the polyamory movement are women. The reason you’re getting the response you’re getting isn’t because women are “more socially programmed” or because there are fewer poly women — it’s because there are very few polyamorous people overall. You’re not going to have much success converting monogamous people to polyamory, whether they’re male or female. If you want to find people to date who are okay with polyamory, stop asking monogamous people.
Also, in general, if you find yourself thinking, “Oh, wait, I know what the problem is — it’s women!” remember that big generalizations are often big mistakes.
Ah Lily, good timing. Must get around to reading what you have been up to of late on your blog. As for poly, yes I know that women are leading the way and I am so very happy that it is the case. Dossie Easton is a wonderful woman whom I would love to sit down with over a coffee/tea and just chat about whatever came to mind. I also need to get too one of our local poly gatherings and meet some of the wonderful people who keep poly sustained in this country.
My socially programmed statement came directly from my experience with women and weddings merged with my experiences with women in general throughout this life. Monogamy is the default especially in Australia which I guess is why we are having such a hard time passing legislation in regards to same-sex marriage. We will get there on that I am sure, tis just going to take a little bit of time for a majority of people to accept it.
I agree in that I should stop asking monogamous people but when you are virus laden as I am your opportunities are a whole lot less and thus one must work with what one has at hand.
As for thinking it is all due to women. Nah, been down that road. Explored it to the full and it is a sham and a cop-out. As the rule I understand that primarily men want pleasure and some connection generally from sex and women too want pleasure but possibly less and more of an emotional connection and intimacy again generally speaking. This is where the discussion needs to be focused between the sexes and primarily at school in young people taught by excellent teachers who challenge these young minds thus that they understand the differences in the sexes and can then work with that knowledge to be better partners, lovers etc going forward.
We all have a long way to go on this and my great hope is that one day sexuality will be afforded the importance that it deserves instead of just being hit and miss which brings with it so much sadness that could be I would argue reduced in a short time frame if some leadership was shown for once by our elected representatives. For that too happen though we are going to have to see a lot more women in politics…now there’s another challenge altogether.
Thanks for the comment, I do enjoy your take on things.