Month: February 2012

On Polyamory…

Been thinking about this word a lot of late and about my take on sex and love…

What bought this all on you ask? Do read on…

Regular readers of my take on sexuality and its coexistence with everything we are and do may remember that the girly and I are in an open relationship and have been for a few years now.  It wasn’t easy getting to this point but it may be a little easier going forward now that I know better where my head and heart are.  Thanks in a large part to the cathartic writing and research for this blog.

On with the story…was on the train last weekend complete with my copy of The Ethical Slut which for the record I have only been able to pick up and read little by little over the last few months since purchasing it.  Why?

Well, my experience’s thus far over 40 years on the planet dealing with women and sex and love has been quite the saga.  I really only have had a few opportunities to have sex with women without having to answer 1000 questions prior, prove myself via dates a plenty and so on and so forth.  Then there is the issue of giving your heart to her and only her.   It is, has and continues to be very draining I can tell you.

So while reading this book has been a wonderful experience, coming back to reality is like being in a 747 crash landing.  I am winning the war though albeit slowly and know in my heart that polyamory is for me in the long term.  Slow and steady will win this race.

So where do I stand right now…?

On sex, yes I want more and could quite comfortably have sex once a day for the inevitable future if I could find women of a similar mindset.  That has proved nigh on impossible thus far and in fact I think I have only met maybe 5 women over my life who seemed comfortable with communicating sexually which is overly negative but it is what I have experienced.  But to end this paragraph with a bit of positivity I will state for the record I have been talking to a woman via a dating site and she is so wonderfully open in regards to sex and it is such a fresh breath of air I feel positively buoyed when I get a text from her.  The small downside is that I don’t think it will go anywhere so I guess I will just have to be happy with hot texts and emails etc.

On love, I am all for loving more women but again they need to be of a similar mindset in that they are comfortable reciprocating without any jealousy involved or being overly needy.  I would love to know 4 or 5 wonderful women who I could be intimate with when required but also just to hangout with, have dinner with, enjoy coffee and a chat, walk the beach together and so many other things.  We all need love and as I get older I realise that it certainly isn’t going to hurt having more of it around and also dishing it out to those women whom I share a connection with.  Finding them is the issue.

As an aside to this thought, I have a young niece and I hope to in time even if it takes 20 years sit down with her over coffee and share of my experience but I fear by then she too like far too many other women might be contaminated by the vacuum that is monogamy.  Maybe things will change more between then and now?  I certainly hope so and I hope she meets interesting people who expand her mind just in case that conversation doesn’t happen.

As for me, I will keep plugging away, one step at a time but I do know right at this moment more about me and what I want going forward from 40 and that can only be a good thing.

Adios

Clyde

Ahh Australia…land of the embarrassed…!

Yup…that is what we are, generally speaking, if this article is anything to go by?
If I read correctly, an English teacher at a Geelong High School had to tend his resignation at the school he worked at yesterday because of “Threats of a walkout by fellow teachers and parents”.  How many exactly teachers and parents you ask?

We may never know but it must have been significant to have the school conduct an INVESTIGATION…WOOOOO!

Seriously, if we get our titties in a twist over a fucking English teacher being in porn video that yes had a FORMER student as his partner where are we exactly at IRT our sexual evolution in this country?

Don’t know about you but whatever you do in your private life is just that and yes whilst he or someone made the mistake of circulating it online I really would like us all just to grow up a little and maybe consider that sex has been around for a fair while now and is a fairly normal human function.

Must have been the blindfold I reckon that got everyone so bloody mad..!

Or maybe he grunted and moaned in class whilst reciting Shakespeare?

No wonder sex education doesn’t get a fair trial.

We so have a ways to go in this country…

Clyde

This just aint good enough…

Domestic/family violence is on the rise in Victoria. Am not a conservative in the slightest…well, maybe a tiny, tiny bit but my thanks goes to Mary Wooldridge (Member for Doncaster) for taking action on this really shitty fact of Australian family living.  Nice to see Labor chipping in with the mandatory dig at it being too late…ah…politicians…they are a classy bunch?

Nearly 41,000 case reported to Police in 2010-2011 in Victoria if I read correctly. What about those assaults etc that weren’t reported? How many were there?

Scary to think about it isn’t it?

The article is here.

This is why I advocate a bigger place for sexual/relationship education in schools.  We have to start at the bottom up and educate the newest generation that this sort of behaviour is JUST NOT ON.

Further on that I finally got around to looking through a few sexual education links on the Victorian Dept of Education website and whilst it looked all above board and meaningful, it came across as hollow and just words with very little and quite subjective action attached.  They were my initial thoughts anyway.

Mind you I haven’t been part of these classes nor have I viewed teacher’s taking classes and teaching students but my guess is that a lot of this is still very embarrassing to a whole lot of people IMHO and thus my thoughts on genuine outcomes being achieved aren’t really positive at this point.  Yes, A message gets across but it could well be like the one class I had whilst at school where it just doesn’t sink in and then isn’t reinforced by the adults in your life which I would argue definately increases the chances of an individual(s) going off the track.

I would argue at this stage until some genuine political will is put behind this confronting and politically/emotionally charged subject ie: comprehensive sexual education, shit like domestic violence is going to continue occur at the current rate and will only get worse no matter what temporary or permanent roadblocks are put in its path.

I was intrigued with one point in the article, namely this “Early treatment for young people displaying inappropriate sexual behaviour or sexually abusive behaviour”.  I can understand needing to act on the abusive side but inappropriate sexual behaviour…? who is going to lay down the guidelines on this, and if so what are they?  Will be watching this space very closely and commenting on the public consultation process I think as that statement definately has the potential to be pushed way out of a fair and reasonable outcome for both sexes.

The respectful relationships stuff is good although this is where I am a little confused?

Currently (but I maybe wrong)…from what I could read it is only compulsory for schools to offer the sex education curriculum in Year 4 or 5 and then again in year 9.  Why only twice?  And how long is this subject taught for…a term?  a week?

Watch this space for more information on this subject and any teachers out there reading this, if you have any more information on this subject I would be genuinely happy to receive it if you want to share, anonymously or named…your call?

Clyde