Today I took a look at a website that I found via one of the people I follow on Twitter.

It is called PassionateU and it is purpose is to educate one and all about the many and varied forms of human sexuality via video segments/blogs.

Yes, it is an American thing but the information is as you can imagine when it comes to the human body pretty much across the board.

There is 261 video blogs on the site currently if I remember correctly and more are coming.  There is a massive amount of subjects covered…fisting, anal, strap-on’s and the list goes on…

Really great presenters such as Dr Ruth Neustifter, Reid Mikhalko and many more are present so you get information from people who know what they are talking about.

I am fortunate in that I was given a trial account to explore the site which I started on today but all things considered the prices you will pay for the content you will receive are excellent.  There are an excellent array of options both recurring and non-recurring so that you as a consumer can get exactly what you want.  This is something that has pretty much always been the determining factor for mine in subscribing to for example: a porn site.  I hate recurring/automatic subscriptions!

So, what did I watch today.  Firstly, I took a look at Male masturbation – positions and techniques by Dr Ruthie which was really well done and covered an awful lot in 8 minutes.  I thought I knew a fair bit about spanking the monkey but as I found out there is a whole world of possibilities out there and the stuff IRT your legs and blood flow was really interesting.

Then I took a look at Lubes and Lubrication by Megan Andelloux which again was great viewing and offered some really good information.  A few of the brands you probably wont find in Australia, and especially so in Coles or Woolworths or for that matter your local pharmacy as I went looking and could only find bloody KY, Ansell shite and one other brand that didn’t do much for me.  Coles actually had a better range than my chemist?

Yes, the supermarket/pharmacy items will cut the mustard if you are desperate for some water based lube for a quickie but if you have the time to go looking I highly recommend this website

They have a great range of products and IRT lubrication cover a lot of organic, vegan and every other possible alternative of lube out there.  They like companies that are environmentally friendly and they have a couple of International shipping options too which is handy.

Anyway, back to PassionateU.  This is genuinely a great resource for anyone seeking to access information in the privacy of your home or anywhere now really with the onwards march of smartphones if it has anything to do with sexuality.

Would be an even better resource for Australians if we had an across the board sex ed curriculum in school as a primer…had to get that dig in!

Highly recommended.  After my trial is done with I can see a non-recurring subscription in my future to keep up with the latest video tuition being posted.


PassionateU's banner

Njoy Fun Wand (hits the spot)!

Ok, here goes.
For anal stimulation/pleasure I am using this currently. I give you the Njoy Fun Wand

My prostate loves you!
My prostate loves you!

I have found that I like silicon lube in that area, water based just doesnt cut it. Feels harsh where as silicon slides yummily.

My next purchase I think is going to be one of these…,

quality full stop!

The girly has a vibrator from this company and swears by it. It is a Lelo Billy, their male vibrator. Built well so it will last which means a lot to this consumer.

And that is about it for sex toys for me. We did get a vibrating cock-ring thrown into a purchase a while ago but it was a waste of time and sits in the drawer with the other shite we have accumulated over time.

Keep it simple, buy quality and have fun.


Porn and MY attitude towards women…

OK, lets get one thing straight. I have purchased and generally consumed a MASSIVE amount of porn in this lifetime.  If I could put a dollar figure on it we might be looking at $20,000…maybe more?

Most of it harmless heterosexual sex between a woman and a man but occasionally I have been somewhere with other men when someone has pulled out a video of a woman shitting on a man’s chest or when I was in my Bi phase and searched Bi/gay porn to see if it might be my thing.
Then there was the time where I checked out bestiality and very quickly got over it as that shit is way fucked up.
Then we have the submissive stuff I checked out briefly but realised that it wasn’t cool to see a woman gagged, being fucked in the arse and then the pussy like she was a piece of meat. Not cool at all.  I am sure there are a few women around who like that sort of stuff or want that from their man/men but I am definitely not he.

All in all though over 25 years, has it changed my attitude towards women. NO.
In fact, I would argue that it is porn that has actually educated me somewhat.  How so…?

Do read on.

A little background….My attitude to women was crafted primarily by my Mum first and foremost but also by those around me whilst growing up, aunties etc who pretty much laid the stones for me to walk upon as far as dealing with women.  Easy come easy go pretty much.  Treat a woman how you like to be treated…civil, respectful etc.

My father then fucked this up with his aggro temper and complete lack of help in dealing with females thus when the chance came to jump ship at 17 I did and didn’t look back.  Unfortunately though, by this time the damage was done and I would find it really hard to communicate with women for pretty much all of my 20’s and 30’s.  It is only now at 40 that I feel semi-comfortable talking with women.  Even then, sentences are clipped and I am wary of them especially after I got in sexual harassment trouble with a former employer.  Long story, but in short, I was just sucked in and spat out by girls testing their sexuality and how far they could take flirtation before it got out of hand.  I admitted guilt and got fired…the women…a recap of sexual harassment 101….NOW THERE’S EQUALITY FOR YA!

But really, has porn caused any harm.  I would argue no because I have had plenty of opportunities to turn left on the moral crossroads instead of right or vice-versa, take on attitudes that I have seen in some porn and use them in my sex life but I have not.  I have baulked at pretty much everything that has been thrown at me taking the turn as required by a decent society.  Too this day I have a great deal of respect for the large majority of women and their struggle for equality, so yes…I really don’t think porn is an issue for me at least.

That is me though.  There are many men, but still a tiny number in the grand scheme of things I would argue, who have made a poor decision(s) and they are the men that feed the fires of the woman mentioned below.

Melinda Tankard-Reist.  Apparently all men or something like that (cant bring myself to watch shite like that again) are doomed to fall into Big-Porn’s evil plan to turn men into sex beasts who beat women and treat them poorly blah blah blah. Check it out yourself if you don’t believe me…straight out of her mouth on camera.

Now…whilst we are on MTR…I understand she is passionate about seeing porn reduced to dust and hey everyone is entitled to an opinion and can believe whatever they want in this wonderful country but for fuck’s sake…has she ever thought that getting her way and seeing the pendulum swing 180 degrees the other way will only bring on its own unique set of problems which may or may not leave us in a similar position?

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for the rights of women and feminism but the hard core right-wing militia methodology really is a waste of oxygen.

Here’s an idea…how about we just educate people better?  FUCK ME, THAT IS BRILLIANT…WHO WOULD HAVE THUNK IT!

And here I go again…SEX EDUCATION.  Lets start it with kiddies at 9 years of age.  Basic shit…your body, its parts, functions…fun, laughter, learning.  Then year by year lets ratchet it up a notch where at 13 boys and girls will be learning about relationships of all flavours.  Again, make it fun so that kids enjoy it and look forward to a break from maths, science and other core subjects.  I want to see the curricula go through until year 10 where it would cease but not before relationships were covered again so that young adults could then go forward into the world with their girlfriends/boyfriends and practice the fundamentals that they would have learnt.  Safe sex, Pregnancy, Male and Female sexuality, Pornography and so many more subjects.

What a great way to learn about sexual harassment too….wish I had been able to partake in something like this.  Of course, it would have to be optional to cover off those religious parental oddities who think that god is the main mofo blah blah blah!

If it was done right, I reckon it could be condensed into a few weeks possibly twice a year maybe, I don’t know?  The small stuff can be argued over by the bureaucrats.

The main point is that there would need to be time for the children to discuss the subjects with their friends etc when they felt comfortable.  If that was worked into timings and teachers were hand picked, vetted as one would for a government security clearance then I think we would get it done and done well.

Surely that would make a dent in the amount of fuck-up’s covered off (primarily by men) in regards to sexuality and possibly it might even out the playing field in regards to porn a little or a lot too?

This is serious shit…we need to act as a society.  I have crapped on about Australians and their sexuality as I have seen it here and I hope that is changing with the young people coming through WITH their access to porn and a good upbringing.  We cant fall any further right…the conservative attitude doesn’t work for the majority IMHO.

The church had its turn and fucked shit up leaving a lasting legacy.  Porn is breaking that chain but it has the potential to fuck shit up too.  WE MUST ACT, AND SOON.  MTR and her little group of “odd humans” don’t need anymore fuel for their little bonfire so lets not give it to them please.

In summary, I just want us to aim for balance in regards to pornography.  Yes, there are many issues but banning it or instituting knee-jerk policy isn’t going to do FUCK ALL.  Just like feminism, it is going to be a gradual process, an evolution of the species where we hopefully will end up doing things better one day.


p.s. Yes, my writing can be complete crap at times, but I do make a fair point I think.  Think on it and if you like, drop me a line.  I have only bits of lots of puzzles/subjects on sex but want to know more…SO YOU…AUSSIE, put your digits into gear and leave a comment good or bad.  Thanks and smooches. C

On Genital Herpes…

Updated July 2019.

HSV 2 or Herpes Simplex Virus is some sexual baggage that I carry deep in my nervous system.

I SHOULD have written about this earlier (originally published Nov 2011). But I am ashamed of being a carrier and as life has shown me, so are many more adults.

So how did I get the virus? All of the below played their part in the outcome.

I had pretty much NO sexual education and that most certainly was a factor in the end-game.

The time in which the virus came to be a part of me was also “pre-internets” so knowledge was pretty thin on the ground.

Condoms were available but I never used them. Why you may ask?

Between overall sexual stigma and very little to no instruction on how and why one should use a “franger” (why oh why has this word left our vocabulary!), blokes like me as a rite of passage just loaded the 6-shooter, spun the barrel and played Russian roulette in the early 90’s as the norm.

Flashback. My first sexual experience which was not in Australia wasn’t the greatest advertisment for them either (it broke part way through the act).

Really though when I think back to those years now I am amazed that I got through them with just HSV2. I didn’t have a clue about sex.

I also knew very little about females and less about reproduction other than the bare basics. I am actually very happy to have been a largely quiet and shy man because if I had been the opposite it could have been a very different outcome altogether.

Anyway, many years have passed now since that nurse stuck the swab to test for HSV2 way to far into the eye of my penis and made me howl in pain.

Honestly though, I look back on the last couple of decades and frankly I wouldn’t change a thing inclusive of HSV2.

It has turned out to be a great indicator of my overall health as it usually appears when my immune system is on Struggle St.

To summarise, Herpes isn’t a game changer, it just requires some thought and honesty into how you might manage and continue a sex life.


Mr BROKEN effing record again….

This article by Tracy Clark-Flory is yet another good one on our collective sexuality and how we as a society are so fucking close minded in regards it.  She uses porn as the main argument but the underlying context is all about our sexuality, well, that is how I read it anyway.

She interviews one of my female heroes in Cindy Gallop from Make Love Not Porn whom I have rattled on about here and on a few other random posts.

Why are people so bloody secretive about sex?

This morning I also lamented on the lack of male sex bloggers in Australia…was feeling a little bit lonely and wanted to read of other men’s experiences in regards to sex, but there isn’t many around.  In fact I know of only two.  Yes, there are a few gay bloggers and that is cool, each to their own but what I want to see is straight men talking about sex.

I would argue that currently the ratio is 25:1 (female to male) bloggers on about sex in this country, and that might be conservative!

I will end this post by stating that what I want to see is a push by a political party in introducing a bill regards comprehensive sexual education just as Barbara Lee has done in the US congress here

Vote with your feet people and start giving a shit about our sexuality.  It drives so many things in our society and any considered and well researched forward movement can only do good for all of us.




The guy in the wheelchair….

Hi all,

Having a look at this post again after 8 or so years that it’s been out in the wild and 12+ years since the event.

With a few more years under the belt, lets see what gets updated if anything.


A few years back I was visiting a brothel in Funky-town which is no longer there anymore and as I was waiting at the door to be let in a young man in a motorised wheelchair drove up and waited with me.

I looked his way briefly (as we all do unconciously) and wondered for a few seconds what he wanted.

Can you believe that?

The door opened then and we were allowed to go through into the lounge and I didn’t think anymore on it.

Until I decided to write this post.

Thinking on it now, all as that young man wanted was exactly what I wanted…to orgasm and or be with a woman for some brief respite from the world.

Unfortunately for him it wasn’t going to be as easy as it was for me and as I write this I think back in wonder at my ignorance of disabled people and their sexuality at that time.

I don’t consider myself completely blinkered but on this occasion I was and to that young man wherever you are now I apologise.

To the sex workers who used to look after him and may still do?

You are truly wonderful human beings and I think you should be (if indeed we didn’t live in such a closed minded society regards sex) the people who get nominated for Australia Day medallions.

Yes, it is your job and your choice but that you offer your bodies to look after all types of men’s wants and needs means a lot to me now that I have been with a number of you and can understand a little of how life must be for you.

To end this with a little positivity….

I live in hope one day that we will get to a point where discrimination of the disabled is finally driven out of people’s minds and they are accepted in society to work alongside able-bodied people, receive the same remuneration and generally just be accepted for whom they are….fellow human beings.


Post script: It didn’t need much. And I am pretty proud that I wrote this back then.

Thoughts on sex as I get older….?

Good morning to anyone reading this…tis a Saturday morning here in downtown Melbourne, Australia and I feel like musing over the subject line for a bit.

Life begins at 40 is a memorable phrase (coined prior to 1932 apparently but made more widely known in that year by American shrink Walter Pitkin when he published a book of the same name) …anyways onto my little rant.

Yours truly was hoping that indeed this might be the case especially in regards to sex at 40 and onwards.  I came to that conclusion based on the scenario in my mind that people around 40 have had their children or not and are mature enough and experienced enough to know what they want in regards to sex and thus might just go out and get it.

How bloody wrong was I!

I did the dating site thing for a while as I thought that might be a great way to find this sex at 40 but what I found was regular use of language such as this by 50% or more of single/divorced/available females in my area “No Players”, “If you want sex look elsewhere”, “Not interested in sex/one night stands”, and other statements which reflected to me that there is an awful lot of women who for whatever reason weren’t interested in sex.

Why is this?

My one and only Australian commenter thus far AOF has kindly educated me on oxytocin but this is as I understand it released into the bloodstream after sex not before….so what is it?…why are these women seemingly not interested in some simple sexual pleasure?

There are many factors that make up this argument I know and far too many to go into here but one major point that strikes me  is this.  Australians are not a very sexy people.  We just aren’t liberal in regards to sex in OZ as I see it.

Australian men firstly, that being those that I have worked with, drank with, partied and conversed with don’t talk about sex in a calm rational way and or sexy way.  Sex discussion has been (when I have been with the blokes) really only about (expletives included pretty much always) “who’s fucking who and who they want to fuck etc” which makes it easy to understand why women control sex in this country as I have raved on about before here

Australian men are cavemen still in regards to sex in the majority.  Yes, things are changing and that gives me a great deal of hope but my god is it slow and it is going to take a whole lot longer than the 40 possible years I have left on the perch I fear!  I was born too early!!!

Australian women, well…they are slowly working out what it is all about and seeking out there own sexual gratification, but there is still the fear purported in a large part by mothers I gather, the media and other organisations who would have women not do this as a rule.  Furthermore, men haven’t done themselves any favours in being arseholes to women and any possible sexuality that they might been thinking about expressing.  As per usual it is the old chestnut in it being the minority of men who have stuffed it up for the majority, case in point being the bloody church and its keep your legs closed unless you are married approach to sex and even then it should only be done in the bedroom with the lights out under the covers!  Utter bullshit!

I am going to add to this also that women I would argue are their worst enemies a lot of the time and the example I intend to use here is a word “slut” that I know is used by a lot of men still unfortunately but it is certainly also used by a lot of women too…against other women!

There are but a few of the many factors that make up this massive pie graph.  Overall though it is bloody sad in my humble opinion because as I have stated in a previous post, good healthy sex is wonderful for the body and mind and as far as I see if it is done safely then there is no issue full fucking stop!  If we were to chill out on this a bit it might even raise the health of the nation by a few percentage points…for no cost!

So as for me finding willing sexual partners who just want to enjoy someone else’s body for a bit whenever the need strikes…possibly aint going to happen unless I move to France or Germany or another country that isn’t so uptight about sexuality.

And that is where I will end this little rant on thoughts about sex as I get older.  It will always be a work in progress as are all posts in this blog.  I am a seeker and I want to know more about Australians and sexuality so if you have something to add please offer a comment.  It might just help me further define these thoughts.

Thanks to AOF also for recommending the book by Dossie Easton and Cath A Lizst…The Ethical Slut, A Guide To Infinate Sexual Possiblities.  At least I can get myself educated on what polyamory is all about just in case I do meet some less uptight women…a bloke has gotta keep hoping!